Pause and Connect

Let’s talk about blowups today. We all have them. It would be nice if we could wave a magic wand and be super calm parents who never get our feathers ruffled, but… you know? That’s just not possible. We’re humans, we’re going to get upset, and we’re going to do things we regret. But the nice thing is that our kids learn important lessons when we resolve things after a blowup.  And isn’t that what...

In our society, we blame whenever something goes wrong. Empathy is often only an afterthought, if it shows up at all. And this seeps into our parenting. Parenting with empathy is not something our society conditions us to do, so it’s something we have to actively teach ourselves. Here are some thoughts to help us. Mentioned in this episode: How to Stop Yelling

We all make mistakes, and we know that. But when it comes to parenting mistakes, we tend to be pretty unforgiving of ourselves. We might even hold ourselves to unreachable standards.  This episode is a love letter of proof that you're a good mom, and you can forgive yourself for your mistakes. Listen in for 6 reframes that will help you see yourself as good and give you the perspective to enjoy yo...

In heterosexual relationships, women are still managing the bulk of labor at home. And we're burnt out! What would happen if we changed the way we talked about men's work at home? Could we begin to see more equality in the home? Listen in, as we explore this concept.   Mentioned in this episode:  Why You Feel Like a Bad Mom - and How to Not Housekeeping Is Not Motherhood   Check out the back-and-f...

Let’s talk about lying! Specifically, when your kids are lying -- and you know it.  This is a huge challenge, isn’t it? Our society places so much value on honesty, which is a good thing. But because of that, we tend to think that lack of honesty automatically indicates a character flaw. And so when our kids tell a lie, we feel scared. Does this mean my child is bad? Does this mean they lie to me...

Easy-ish is the key word here. There are tons of elaborate ways to connect (and I love those ways too!).   But this episode is a little different. It’s about taking the ordinary things you’re already doing, and figuring out how to turn them into connections that can have a deeply positive impact on your relationship with your child.   Mentioned in this episode: Back-and-forth journal for parents a...

Your kid is melting down and your heart is beating fast. You're feeling scared, anxious, or angry. You know yelling is going to intensify the situation, but you don't know what else to do. Try this yell-free plan to transform meltdowns, freak-outs, and intense situations in your family.    Thanks for listening. This is the home of the back-and-forth journal and Pause and Connect Academy where you...

Why is "mom guilt" so prevalent in our society? Is it something we just have to accept and deal with, or can we do something to step away from it?    Listen in, as we talk about why we need to reject the narrative society has written for us and how connection can help us feel more secure as mothers.   Referenced in this episode: Podcast Episode 3: Housekeeping Is Not Motherhood Blog post: Housekee...

What are you supposed to do when your kids act defiant or make a mistake? Common parenting advice tells us we need to "teach them a lesson" with consequences they won't forget.  Listen in as we break down this framing and replace it with a more helpful approach. You can actually help your children learn the lessons they need to learn without consequences, yelling, or anger. Here's one way to do th...

Everyone tells you terror stories about the teen years. And while it's undoubtedly a different time with new challenges, teenagers don't need to be feared. This can be a positive time! Listen in as my special guest, Lydia Jeanne, and I share dozens of ideas for connecting with your teen. We turned to friends and family for ideas, and they delivered! You're bound to walk away with new motivation, n...

There's a parenting mistake most of us make without realizing it - and most of us are making the mistake as we're trying to do the right thing!   Listen in to hear how I made this common mistake, and how I WISH I had handled the situation instead. And walk away with four simple steps to ensure you make this mistake far less often in your interactions with your kids. 

When my post, "Housekeeping Is Not Motherhood," went viral, I learned a lot about women and men around the world, based on their reactions to the post. I learned that many women are hurting because of the narrative that housekeeping is equivalent to motherhood, and I learned that some people just don't want to give that narrative up. Listen in, as I share insightful, eye-opening, relatable, and ev...

Our society tells us we need to control our children, but when we adopt this mindset, we end up driving a divide in our relationships. In this episode, I encourage you to challenge the narrative by replacing control with connection.  You'll also walk away with one great takeaway for how to do make this adjustment TODAY. And you'll hear examples of how the traditional control approach looks, and ho...

#MomFail culture is causing us damage. You're not a failure as a mom, and my greatest hope is that I can convince you of this truth. Listen in to hear how #momfail, while most often meant to be funny, is actually causing us to communicate some really dangerous things about ourselves and motherhood in general.  And get a helpful action step to help you walk away from the #momfail culture and renew...