Pastors in Recovery

Episode 73 — STEP TWELVE | From Recovery to Responsibility – Carrying Hope Without Ego Step Twelve is where recovery turns outward—but for pastors, this step comes with real danger. When healing starts to look like leadership, ego can quietly slip in. In this episode, we talk honestly about what it means to carry hope without trying to carry people. Step Twelve reminds us that recovery doesn’t mak...

Episode 72 - STEP ELEVEN | Listening Before Speaking + Original Song "Face Down on the Table " Most pastors don’t struggle with prayer because they don’t know how. They struggle because their lives are loud. In Step Eleven, we’re invited to improve our conscious contact with God through prayer and meditation—but for pastors, listening can be harder than speaking. When our days are full of serving,...

Episode 71 - STEP TEN | Stay Ready Stay Free + Original Song "I'm Keeping the Backpack Light" Step Ten is where recovery becomes a way of life. In this episode, we talk about what it really means to stay honest in real time—not by sitting down later to write another inventory, but by dealing with life moment by moment as it happens. Using the image of a clear backpack, we explore how unowned react...

Episode 70 - STEP NINE | Making Amends Without Making a Mess + Original Song "My Side of the Street" Making amends sounds simple—until you actually do it. In this episode, we move beyond talking about Step 9 and step into the harder work of doing it wisely. We explore how even sincere apologies can cause more harm when they’re driven by guilt, image management, or the need for closure. Through a p...

Episode 69 - STEP EIGHT | Owning the Damage I’ve Done + Original Song "The Bubbleator" In this episode, we step into one of the most challenging and freeing moments of recovery: learning to own the damage we’ve caused. For many pastors, it’s easier to talk about what happened to us than to look honestly at what has happened through us. Step Eight calls us to step out of our self-protective bubble,...

Episode 68 - STEP SEVEN | Letting God Heal the Pastor, Not the Performer Today we talk about the crash that almost every pastor knows but rarely admits—the moment after the sermon when the anointing fades, the adrenaline stops, and the real battle begins. You’ve prayed. You’ve preached. God has moved. But when the house grows quiet… the worries return. The pain you’ve carried comes back. The tempt...

BONUS EPISODE — “Tripping Over Myself” In this bonus episode, Jon looks at the blind spots we all have — the places where we keep tripping over our own attitudes, reactions, and old patterns. Sometimes the biggest obstacle in the hallway isn’t the enemy… it’s us. This episode features Jon’s new original song, “Tripping Over Myself” — a throughtful track about stumbling over our own blind spots and...

Episode 67 - STEP SIX | Being Willing To Change + Original Song "No More Defending" Step Six is where healing finally starts to take root. It’s the moment we stop defending our dysfunction and become willing for God to rewrite what we’ve been hiding. In this episode, Jon shares raw stories from his years of church planting—ministry burnout, pride, insecurity, financial pressure, and the addictions...

Episode 66 – STEP FIVE | Confessing, Not Preaching + Original Song “Hats” In this powerful episode of Pastors in Recovery, Jon unpacks Step Five: Confessing, Not Preaching — learning to tell the truth instead of performing it. He shares honest reflections from his own ministry life — the “pastor hat,” the “church-planter hat,” and the moment he realized that the only hat that truly fits is the rea...

Episode 65 — STEP FOUR | Taking Honest Inventory + Original Song “In Your Eyes" In this episode of Pastors in Recovery, Jon Hammond walks through Step Four — Taking Honest Inventory. It’s the moment when pastors and ministry leaders stop performing and start allowing God to search beneath the surface. Through powerful stories and personal reflection, Jon shares how honesty replaces performance, ho...

Episode 64 — STEP THREE | Laying Down Control: Surrendering Ministry Outcomes and Personal Image + Original Song “Lay It Down Again” In Step Three of The Twelve Steps for a Pastor in Recovery, Jon talks about one of the hardest steps in ministry — laying down control. For many pastors, surrender doesn’t mean giving up—it means giving God back what was already His. In this honest and personal episo...

Bonus: Praise That Changes Us | When Worship Opens Our Eyes In this short devotional, Jon Hammond reflects on the power of praise—not as something God needs, but as something that transforms us. When we praise, our eyes open to see God more clearly. Doubt shrinks. Faith rises. And we discover that inviting His presence isn’t about summoning Him—it’s about awakening our own hearts to the reality th...

Episode 63 — Letting God Be God Again (featuring “I Can’t Fix It, But He Can” In Step Two, Jon opens his heart and shares the real struggle of trying to fix what only God can heal. Through honest stories—from ministry comparison to personal recovery, and even a life-and-death moment with his wife—this episode reminds us that surrender isn’t weakness; it’s worship. Jon also debuts his new folk-rock...

Episode 62 - STEP ONE | Facing the Mirror In this first episode of our 12-Step Series for Pastors in Recovery, we begin with Step One: Facing the Mirror. Jon Hammond opens up about what it means to be honest before God — to stop pretending, stop performing, and start admitting what’s really going on inside. As pastors and leaders, our closeness with God often mirrors the closeness of our relations...

Episode 61 — The Twelve Steps for a Pastor in Recovery (Overview) + Original Song “No More Fakin’ It” Pastor, when did ministry become the place you hide your pain? In this special kickoff episode, Jon introduces The Twelve Steps for a Pastor in Recovery — a simple, honest path from pretending to freedom. You’ll hear how these twelve steps bring healing to those who lead others but struggle in sil...

Episode 60 – Social Media: Perfect Feed Social media can feel like a crazy animal for pastors. It makes everyone else’s life look perfect, while magnifying your insecurities. As pastors, we live in the tension of the pedestal—where ministry is always on display—and the reality of personal life, where things aren’t always picture perfect. In this episode, Jon shares his own story of being deep into...

Episode 59 - Food Feelings and Finding Balance Food is one of the most socially acceptable ways pastors medicate their pain. Nobody questions you when you go back for another plate at the potluck, but for many of us, food has become the comfort we reach for instead of God. In this episode, I open up about my own story of gaining weight later in life, battling cravings for ice cream and baked goods...

Episode 58 - Criticism Without Crumbling In this episode of Pastors in Recovery, I share what may be one of the most Spirit-stirring messages I’ve ever felt led to record. Criticism can sting, and for many of us, it sticks—echoing in our hearts for years. As pastors and people in recovery, it’s easy to let harsh words define us, but Christ calls us to something greater. We’ll look at how Jesus Him...

Episode 57 – Shame - Part 2 - Shame, Sin, and the Way Out In this continuation of our series on shame, Jon addresses one of the most difficult and secret struggles pastors face: masturbation. This episode explores: Why masturbation often becomes a form of self-medication for anxiety, loneliness, or boredom. How dopamine, secrecy, and the cycle of shame entangle leaders and believers alike. Why thi...

Episode 56 – Shame - The Weight We Shouldn’t Carry Shame is one of the heaviest burdens pastors and people in recovery carry. It whispers lies that we are our weakness, our mistakes, or our past. In this episode, Jon shares a very personal story about feeling shame while taking his medication — and how those feelings connect back to childhood wounds and moments of being belittled. Through Scriptur...

Episode 55 - Feeling Like A Victim (Part 3) - What Safe Leadership Looks Like In this episode of Pastors in Recovery, Jon continues the trilogy on victimhood, spiritual abuse, and safe leadership. Episode 53 explored the victim mentality—feeling like a victim when it’s not really abuse. Episode 54 addressed spiritual abuse—what it looks like and how it harms pastors and church members. And now, in...

Episode 54 - Feeling Like a victim (Part 2) When you are experiencing Spiritual Abuse Spiritual abuse is one of the deepest wounds a pastor or church member can carry—because it comes wrapped in the name of God. In this episode of Pastors in Recovery, Jon Hammond shares hard truths, survivor stories, statistics, and his own personal experience of being verbally and physically mistreated by a senio...

Episode 53 – Feeling Like a Victim (Part 1) When It’s Not Abuse Have you ever felt overlooked, passed over, or rejected — certain you were the right one for the opportunity, but someone else got it? In this episode of Pastors in Recovery, Jon Hammond shares four personal stories of moments he felt like a victim… only to realize later that God had a different race marked out for him. From faking a...

Episode 52 - The Cycle of Pursuit I didn’t mean to make a series… but God had other plans. This is part three of an unexpected journey that started on a beach in San Diego and led straight into the heart of striving, identity, and grace.  In this episode, I open up about a powerful realization I’ve been working through in therapy—the fantasy of the “perfect girl.” From sitcoms like Love, American...

Episode 51 - When Passion Becomes Obsession - Discerning the Fire God Gave Us In this episode of Pastors in Recovery, Jon Hammond shares a deeply personal story about chasing the dream of a finished backyard — and how even good desires can quietly become obsessions. Drawing from his own recovery and pastoral experience, Jon explores the difference between passion and obsession, what happens when o...