Parenting Teenagers Untangled: The award-winning podcast for parents of tweens and teens, offering realistic, science-backed advice for calmer, more connected family life.

Ask Rachel anything For most of our episodes I research a topic and discuss it with Susie. We covered anxiety some time ago in that format, and it's continued to be one of our most popular downloads. So, when I was given the opportunity to interview a specialist in the area, I jumped at the chance.  In this interview, Renee Mill talks about the model she uses to treat patients, called the Ebb...

Ask Rachel anything A holiday is when someone is free to do what they want, such as travel or relax. That's according to the Cambridge Dictionary. The problem with teenagers, is that what they want to do for several weeks over summer - such as sleep or use their electronic devices all day - may not fit with what we think they should be doing. Also, having them around, doing what they want, ma...

Ask Rachel anything The transition from junior to senior school can be thrilling; the chance to meet a much bigger group of kids, and gain more of the independence that's part of growing up. But change is always stressful, and when you combine a big shake up of friend groups with puberty, having to navigate your way around a larger school campus, and the immense pressure of having to study fo...

Ask Rachel anything In this interview with Danielle Winton of Memory Strategy we talked about:  * Why we should care about memory stategies. * Key things parents can do to support their teens. * How to link a number to music. * Everyone can polish up their memory. * Using your body as a memory palace. * How to help yourself with memorizing names. * Using blurting to check what you remember. * Mind...

Ask Rachel anything Snapchat has become a must-have for most teens, because it's now the way they stay in touch with their friends. The filters make it fun, they can see where their friends are on Snapmaps, and the instant photos give them a quick and easy contact point. But one of our listeners has contacted us asking for help with it. She says her teen son was already struggling to control...

Ask Rachel anything Boys and men who display a muscular physique that's 'ripped', or 'cut'  get more likes and shares than other accounts on social media, so the algorithms behind the platforms are feeding a strong trend in muscle building amongst teen boys. But who ends up feeding the ravenously hungry, and is it all healthy?    Louise has asked us for help with how to ma...

Ask Rachel anything We all loose our cool sometimes. but teenagers can find it particularly challenging to stay calm or calm down when enraged. It takes self-awareness and skill, and a level of brain development that just isn't there for some of them. One listener contacted us for help  with her son who is being goaded by friends at school and getting into trouble for losing his temper. We ta...

Ask Rachel anything The term toxic masculinity has been gaining traction, and is often used to talk about the type of masculinity where men use dominance, violence and control to gain power and superiority over others.  There's also been an increase in efforts to educate boys in how to talk more about their feelings. But with the rise of Incels, Andrew Tate, free porn, and pick up artists, yo...

Ask Rachel anything What's better than falling in love again, particularly after a divorce or breakdown of a previous relationship? If you've managed to find someone special in the messy tangle of life as a parent it can feel like a miracle, but your teen may not be anywhere near as enthusiastic about you moving on.  When Jamie asked us for help with how she can introduce her new partner...

Ask Rachel anything We all know that teenagers need their friends, and spending time with others protects against anxiety and all sorts of other mental health problems. At the same time, groups of teens are far more likely to take risks and behave in a delinquent manner, which is what one of our listeners has discovered. Aged 13, her son has already started doing things with his friends that have...

Ask Rachel anything Support the show Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit.  You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.  Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no sha...

Ask Rachel anything An interview with Natasha Devon MBE: We parents often struggle with our fears about how to protect our teens when they're online. So when I received Natasha’s book written for teenagers, 'Clicks; How to be Your Best Self Online', I read it cover to cover. It's a great book to give your teens to help them navigate their online world in a way that's genui...

Ask Rachel anything Everything seems better when we've had enough sleep; our mood is more stable, our response times are faster, we can control our impulses more easily, and perform tasks more effectively.  For teenagers, who are growing rapidly and whose brains are going through a massive rewiring, that need for sleep is arguably even greater. But how many of us are certain that our teens ar...

Ask Rachel anything Conflict is normal - but it often escalates during teenage years because our kids are trying to assert their own wishes, and probably aren't very skilled at it. As parents, it's easy to fall into classic conflict traps if we don't have the skills for resolving disagreements. In this episode we talk about the key techniques we can use - and teach - to ease tension...

Ask Rachel anything It's pre-exam time of year again, and oh boy it's tough for our teens. Does yours have a colour-coded revision schedule, carefully-timed breaks, and a confident spring in their step? Maybe they don't seem to be doing enough revision, and you're the one panicking? Or are they losing their sh## with everyone in the house and struggling to stay on top of it? Bo...

Ask Rachel anything Most first world countries agree that the age of consent is around sixteen, but teenagers don't suddenly awake to their sexuality on their sixteenth birthday. Sexual feelings and interest can start much younger, well before they’re able to understand the implications. One mother has asked us to talk about the issue, because she's struggling to find useful content.   K...

Ask Rachel anything We all want our kids to do well at school, but when they become teenagers there's a tendency for both schools and parents to ease back on communication. The schools tend to be much bigger and our teens are trying desperately to distance themselves from parental control and show that they can make their own mark. In fact, most of us don't get to meet individual teacher...

Ask Rachel anything Nobody likes blowing a fuse when their teen does something that triggers them, but we all do it at some point.  Nicky asked us to discuss this topic after she felt she'd overreacted to bad feedback from her son's teachers. We know it fixes nothing and leaves us feeling worse than before, but can we keep smoothing it over with an apology?   Long term we run the risk of...

Ask Rachel anything The stress of parenting doesn’t go away when they’re teenagers, it just changes. We may have more physical space, but finding mental space can often feel impossible. In this episode we talk about the tools we can use to manage parenting stress, and why paying attention to our own health should be at the top of our list, not the bottom. Links to resources used: Window of toleran...

Ask Rachel anything Nicotine is considered highly addictive, and sales of vapes to teens are illegal, but the numbers of teens vaping nicotine in countries around the world are causing great concern. In America, the FDA called it an epidemic and is cracking down on the marketing and illegal sales of e-cigarettes to minors.   France’s anti-tobacco lobby called for the immediate ban of a brand of fl...

Ask Rachel anything The 'social contract' between families and schools has been broken during the pandemic, and ongoing absence of kids is a 'deep and concerning problem' according to Amanda Spielman, chief of the UK schools watchdog. Rates of school refusal and truanting are a huge problem in other countries too.  Finding the right approach for dealing with it is crucial, beca...

Ask Rachel anything We've been asked by a listener to discuss how we talk to our boys about influential online figures like Andrew Tate, who act both as an inspiration to achieve great things, and a lightning rod for disgruntled men who blame feminism for their ills and cheer on his particular form of aggressive misogyny.  If you have a son who spends time online  he's highly likely to h...

Ask Rachel anything Having kids can seem like a non-stop obstacle/crash course in how you get another living being to do things, whether for their own good or our own sanity. Some of us are lucky enough to have grown up in a family structure which helps us figure out incentives and boundaries that work. Some equate love with giving them what they want, others are so exhausted it's more a matt...

Ask Rachel anything We've all done it; new year, new me. By January the 11th the lustre has rubbed off our shiny resolutions and we're back to our old habits.  The reality is that making resolutions and getting them to stick is harder than we'd like it to be. So how do we make changes in our parenting and our family in a way that will continue to work after the fireworks and fun? In...

Ask Rachel anything Having your own child can feel like an overwhelming responsibility at times, but when you become a step-parent it's even more complicated.  The child may feel resentful because they didn't ask for a new parent, their biological parents are likely to have issues with each other, and then there's our own needs in a new relationship.  Ultimately, step-parents can of...