Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

What do you do when you’ve tried everything? Your teen has been to wilderness programs, therapeutic boarding schools, partial hospitalization programs, and more—and yet, the struggles persist. The behaviors, the fears, the maladaptive patterns, they all return in some way or form when your teen comes back home. What now? In this episode, I’m joined again by the incredible Ciara Fanlo, a former “tr...

Parenting often feels like one of the most rewarding yet unrelenting journeys. There’s no clocking out, even after major milestones are achieved. In this episode, Seth joins me to explore what it means to keep showing up as a parent, even when the work feels never-ending. I reflect on how my son has grown far beyond his time as “my wilderness kid.” Yet, just the other day, we shared an interaction...

Sometimes the shame around my actions feels so heavy and I feel like I’ve failed as a parent. Sounds familiar? In this deeply personal episode, I open up about one of the most painful regrets I’ve had as a parent. A moment I carried shame around for years. It was a time when I was overwhelmed with emotions and lacked the tools I have now, leading to choices I’m not proud of. At the time, I was con...

It’s no secret that sleep is crucial for teens, but getting them to prioritize it? That’s a whole different story! This week on the podcast, I’m joined by Dr. Funke Afolabi-Brown, a triple board-certified sleep physician and founder of Restful Sleep MD, to dive into the importance of sleep for our teens and how we, as parents, can support them in developing healthy sleep habits. Sleep isn’t just a...

How do you know if your teen is truly making progress? As parents, we often cling to our own standards, like better grades or sticking to curfews. These are the markers we cling to as evidence that the therapy or treatment is “working.”  But what if the signs you’re looking for aren’t the ones that matter most?  Because, our teens? They’re navigating their own priorities and often finding progress...

It’s SO frustrating when your kid doesn’t take your advice, isn’t it?! As parents, we have more life experience and we can share our advice with our kids to give them an easier and smoother life experience, at least that’s how it feels to us, right? That’s not how it works though. Together with Ciara Fanlo (a former “troubled teen” turned mentor for adolescents and their families), I explore why t...

I’ve been feeling a lot of anxiety lately. Our wilderness kid is doing really well, so you’d think, after all the heartache, pain, and anxiety of that journey, things would finally feel calm. But life has a way of throwing curveballs, doesn’t it? But honestly, I’ve been judging my anxiety hard. What’s your problem? Why can’t you handle this? You used to be good at this! You’re a mess. It’s exhaust...

It’s natural to want to steer our kids toward success and protect them from struggle. But what if trying to control the outcome does more harm than good? In this episode, I speak with Maggie, a mom of four (including one “wilderness kid”), who shares her deeply personal journey of learning to step back, trust her child’s path, and focus on her own growth. “I leaned in on control-based, outcome-ori...

What happens after your teen completes treatment? It’s a question many parents grapple with. In today’s episode, Beth talks to Michael, a former struggling teen who went to wilderness himself, about his journey through treatment and the challenges of returning home. Michael reflects on his time in wilderness treatment as the ‘worst best time’ of his life. It wasn’t just the woods or the strict rou...

It’s natural to feel uneasy when your kid strays from the socially accepted path of college, career, and other traditional milestones. But as today’s guest Joanna points out, the reality is that the so-called "normal" path is often the exception, not the rule. The world has changed dramatically, and success now comes in many forms. Degrees, certifications, and fulfilling careers don’t al...

Are you unknowingly sending your teen the message that their best isn’t good enough? In this episode, we dig into a concept called "pointing positive," a term from river kayaking that can make a big difference in parenting teens through tough times. When we guide our kids toward what they want to achieve, instead of focusing on what they need to fix, we can help them feel more motivated...

Ever found yourself reacting strongly to something, even when it seems like “no big deal”? Or maybe, in a tense moment, you freeze or shut down instead of reacting?  If you’re a parent of a struggling teen, be it addiction, mental health struggles, suicidal ideation  or a different struggle, you’ve probably felt your own heart skip a beat more times than you can count.  Today, I talk with trauma t...

Fear has a sneaky way of impacting our brains, pushing us toward avoiding what feels uncomfortable instead of working through it. For many of us, fear makes us want to avoid the situation, but doing that keeps us from working through what needs to be done. It’s important to understand that fear is an emotion that comes and goes, just like other emotions. But what does fear bring up in us as parent...

It’s easy to forget to prioritize ourselves as parents, especially when our children are struggling. In this episode, Seth and I dive into the emotional balancing act of parenting a teen in treatment while still finding time for self-care. It’s common to feel guilty for taking care of yourself, especially when your child is away in treatment. Whether you feel guilty about telling your kid that you...

Your teen appears calm and composed with their therapist but displays anger or aggression at home, how frustrating!? It feels like you're dealing with two completely different versions of the same person. In this episode, Seth and I explore the challenge of handling teens who have been through enough therapy to know exactly what to say to 'work the system.' While their providers see...

Balancing the need for rules with the desire for connection can be incredibly challenging when parenting teens. In this episode, therapist Trevor Allen and I dive into the complex dynamics of rules versus boundaries versus expectations and how to navigate them in a way that promotes healthy relationships. We discuss the confusion that can arise when trying to balance control and support, particula...

What’s it actually like for your teen to be in wilderness or other treatment? As parents, we can never truly know. But today’s guest, Ciara Fanlo, has been through it herself. According to her, the emotional stages our teens go through in treatment are very similar to the seven stages of grief: shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance & hope, and processing grief.  So what does...

We all know that feeling when something doesn’t sit right, but we shrug it off, telling ourselves, “It’s not a big deal.” Yet, over time, those little moments of unspoken frustration build up, slowly shrinking our emotional bandwidth until we snap over the tiniest thing. Whether it's a parent feeling taken for granted or a struggling teen wondering why they’re the only one doing all the hard...

We are all wired to avoid uncomfortable feelings. We instinctively shy away from discomfort, parents and teens alike. Whether it’s solving a problem for our kids, distracting ourselves from uncomfortable feelings, or we’re trying to save the day, we often act to avoid the tension. But here’s the hard truth: our teens need to experience that discomfort in order to grow. In this episode, Seth and I...

Co-parenting is hard - there’s no sugarcoating it. In an ideal world, both parents would align perfectly on every decision, from phone use to curfews to navigating friendships. But, as Seth and I explore in this episode, that’s often not the case.  One of the biggest challenges I often see as a parent coach is when one parent holds firm boundaries while the other is more loose. It can feel like a...

“An adolescent brain, it is what it is for a reason” - Brittney King The teenage years can feel like a rollercoaster. One moment your young teen is playing it cool, and the next, they’re literally rolling on the ground pretending to be a dog. Sound familiar? In this week’s episode, I sit down with Brittney King, a licensed counselor, mom of five, and creator of the Think Good Feel Good online cour...

What if improving your relationship with your teen starts with changing yourself? Are you willing to look at your own behavior to improve your relationship with your teen? If you know me at all, you know I truly believe the change begins with us. In this episode, Seth and I dive deeper into what that actually means for you as a parent.  Seth dropped quite the truth bomb in this episode: "None...

Have you ever snapped at your partner or your teen over something small, not really sure why you overreacted? Or like no matter how much sleep you get or how many cups of coffee you drink, there’s still a part of you that feels completely drained?  Oof, believe me, you’re not alone. In this episode, Seth and I dive deep into a topic that resonates with every parent: understanding our limits and ho...

As parents, it’s natural to want to do everything we can to support our struggling teens or young adults. But where do we draw the line between encouraging them to grow and enabling them to remain dependent?  It’s a delicate balance and I’m joined again by therapist Trevor Allen to dive into one of the more challenging questions for any parent: How do we figure out what our teens are truly capable...

You want your teen to be sober, don’t you? But aren’t you focusing on the wrong goal by expecting your teen not to drink any alcohol or take any substances? And what does being sober actually mean? Does it mean the same thing to you as it does to your teen? “Progress, navigation, experimentation, these are normal parts of teenage and young-adult life” - Seth Gottlieb Sobriety is a complex topic an...