Parental Development

One of the most important skills our kids can learn is problem solving! Lots of research has shown it leads to better academic performance, self-esteem, and social skills. This episode talks through this information and gives ideas for how to develop this skill in our kids. Problem solving comes from the prefrontal cortex, which is the last part of our brain to develop. But when we're in a st...

In this episode from 2022 Leah  does her own work, in front of everyone. Illustrated by an interaction with her 9-year-old,  she works through her own history and how it impacts her responses to her own children. We often assign very negative intentions, motives, and behaviors to our kids when they are incredibly young, setting the stage to maintain these negative beliefs about them as they age. T...

This episode talks through how the successes and challenges of our kids say nothing about us as parents, even though many of us feel like it does and let this drive our response and parenting style. We all have different areas that are important to us as parents and that we focus on and struggle to find our worth as a parent. These might include: 1. Sports 2. Academics  3. Clothing 4. Behavior If...

Is it anger or something else? Parenting anger is so tricky and something we often don't know how to manage or discipline. In this episode we talk through it all. Kids need to learn ways to manage ALL emotions, not just anger. When we single out anger we lose sight of the overarching skill kids need. Anger is almost always a secondary emotion  nd there's something under the surface that&...

Today we talk about the ongoing reactions and hard behaviors with Leah's 10-year-old son and she is trying to navigate it and make sense of his behavior and their relationship. Going through challening seasons with our kids can be really challenging, even when we've adopted this new way of parenting and see their behavior through a new, more respectful lens. It's ok to be burnt out...

It seems to be harder and harder for parents to manage their emotions, and this episode talks through why that is and what we can actually do to try to develop skills to manage ourselves when we're triggered and dysregulated. Most of the time when we lose control and feel dysregulated, it's happening outside of our awareness. So the first step to be able to effectively manage our emotion...

In case you mistakenly thought we've got it all together, this episode will say you straight! We talk through lots of situations that hopefully build a sense of community and an understanding that we're all in this together! This podcast episode talks through in more detail the concept of guilt and how we can tell if what we're experiencing is actual guilt or something else. If you...

This episode includes Leah's top 10 tips or suggestions for first time parents, or even second or third time parents. 1. Trust your gut 2. Set boundaries if you need to 3. Each awful stage is just that, a stage  4. Find support 5. Find time for yourself 6. Let your parenting style evolve  7. When in doubt, connect  8. You only have to be good 30% of the time 9. Prepare to do your own work 10....

Today's a replay because, life. This is one of our most downloaded episodes all about every parent's favorite topic: tantrums Tantrums can be one of the most challenging things to manage as a parent. They seem to come out of nowhere and can feel almost impossible to stop. This episode talks through some of the science behind tantrums and what parents can do to try to manage them a little...

This episode is part 2 of our discussions about the Shiny Happy People documentary, and goes over the flip side of authority which is blind obedience.  The idea of obedience pervades our society and is usually the barometer people use to demonstrate the 'goodness' of kids. Kids aren't 'good' just because they do what other people say. When we tell kids how good or bad they...

If you've watched the new documentary, Shiny Happy People, then this episode is for you! We talk through the idea of authority and how dangerous it is to teach kids to follow and obey all authority, no matter what. The idea of authority will always increase the risk of abuse. When we think about how we want our kids to react if they're being abused, including kicking, yelling, biting, sa...

This episode keeps it simple, talking about curfews and how to establish and maintain them for kids as they get older. How do we establish curfews? Do we set them arbitrarily? What would happen if we just let kids decide when to come home on their own? What's the purpose of a curfew? To make sure kids get enough sleep? To keep kids safe? To teach them how to make good choices? Does a curfew r...

This episode talks about fear-based parenting and the specific neurobiology of fear.  Some parents talk about how their kids have "healthy fear" of them, which makes them behave themselves. But really, the only healthy fear is the fear that helps keep us alive. Brain science teaches us what happens in our brains when we're faced with threat - Can I outrun this? Can I beat this? Then...

How do you talk to you kids about death and dying? What do you do about funerals? How do you help them cope? This episode answers all these questions and more, trying to help us support our kids during really challenging times. Kids cannot fully understand death and its finality until they are 8 or 9 years old. This makes it difficult for them to process death and react in ways that feel appropria...

This episode talks about consequences, which usually means punishment and often doesn't address the actual problem or behavior. People use these words interchangeably, but they actually are very different. Many people only know two ways to change or manage behavior: rewards or punishment. We believe that misbehavior is a sign of a need or a missing skill or a desire for connection, which mean...

This episode is basically two scenarios that happened in Leah's house this week that illustrate lots of things we talk about on a regular basis. Apologizing, rupture and repair, and letting our kids be who they are. To apologize, there is no room for justifying our negative behaviors as parents. There can be no, "you made me mad," or " it was because you did...." The ruptu...

This episode was at the request of Beka, after seeing a TikTok video talking about "attention-seeking" behaviors. It's important to remember that wanting attention is not a problem and is even a biological need  our kids have and has to be met in order for our relationships to be strong and supportive. If you want other information about connection and relationships, check out the e...

Why do we continue to use the sticker charts? They're so common and often suggested for parents and teachers, even though we have so much information about some of the negative effects of token economies. This episode talks through this concept and different ways to change behaviors and motivate our kids. A quote on the CDC's website talks about how rewards make both parents and kids hap...

We were due for a really nerdy episode, so this is it! Internal working models are a common concept in attachment theory and are really critical for how we develop our own beliefs and stories as we age. The information in this episode comes, at least in part, from this episode of a different podcast.  Internal working models generally mean our innermost beliefs, ideas, and stories about ourselves,...

With spring break traveling and other life things, we decided to replay our episode discussing mental health. We thought it was relevant with everything going on in our world, so we hope you enjoy! Subscribe, rate, and review us on Podchaser , Apple ,  or wherever you listen to podcasts! Follow us on social media to join the conversation!!! Facebook Instagram

This episode is a bit all over the place - we cover a listener question about a 4 year old who is focusing too much on a boy in her classroom who professed his like for her. And in a hard left turn, we talk more about mental health in light of the Nashville shooting last week. So many of us grew up with a focus on relationships - Disney movies, relationships, etc. and we as parents are trying to m...

How do you know your young child is ready for school? What if they don't want to go? How do you handle drop off? We're answering all the questions in this episode! Find a school you feel good about and examine how ready your kids are to go to school. Prep, prep, prep: avoid "I'm not going to tell him until the day before so he won't worry about it." This almost never...

This episode talks through ways to help your kid with social interactions, coach them on how to be a good friend, and teach them how they should be treated in relationships. As always, validate their feelings about their peers, even if it's unkind or inappropriate. Give them space to share their experiences, questions, and relationships.  It's important to help kids take the perspective...

We cut last week's episode short, so we needed another one to finish our conversation about expectations. In last week's episode we talked about the need to lower expectations if our kids are showing us with their behavior that they can't do the task. But what if your kid has done it in the past and now all of a sudden they are refusing or saying they can't do something anymore...

This episode talks through the expectations we have for our kids, how to make sure they're realistic and look at them differently, through this new parenting lens. Can we differentiate our DESIRES for our kids from the EXPECTATIONS of our kids. Expectations feel like boundaries or rules, which can lead to the punishment, control, shame, or coercion we're trying to change in this type of...