Paper Cuts

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Freeee… Donald Trump! The former US president is comparing himself to Nelson Mandela and we’re perplexed. Social mousing. Disney is building a curated living community in California. Why? Plus – All’s fair in love and law. An American man is suing women he claims ‘ruined his love life’ with nasty comments on facebook. Jacob Jarvis is joined by politi...

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Neighbourhood Watch. The Mail are going after where Labour Deputy leader Angela Rayner lives. Jog on. Russ Cook aka ‘The Hardest Geezer’ has run the length of Africa. Plus – Three more reps of kissing strangers! How to cheat on your partner, according to an infidelity coach.    Miranda Sawyer is joined by LBC host Natasha Devon and comedy writer Ferg...

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Honey Trap Sex Scandal! Tory MP gives his mates’ phone numbers to shady person on Grindr. What could go wrong? Too Soon. The Times insists on telling us about Amy Winehouse’s men. Plus – We are so back. Blind Date might be returning and we’re here for the nostalgia.     Miranda Sawyer is joined by political correspondent for PoliticsJOE Ava Santina a...

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Things can only get better! Labour are on track for an election victory larger than Blair’s in 1997. Don’t worry, be happy. Can The Guardian find its fun side? A reporter goes to a ballpit to find out. Plus – Why can’t we be friends? The i works out the perfect number of mates.    Jacob Jarvis is joined by TLDR News lead writer Ben Blissett and maste...

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: “Completely unacceptable”. World leaders react as an Israeli air strike kills aid workers. Humanoid Resources. The Times investigates whether AI can help you land a new job. Plus – Dish the Dirt! Why you should shower less, according to Johnathan Ross Jacob Jarvis is joined by CNN comment writer Holly Thomas and journalist and New Statesman columnist...

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Rough sleeping. The Conservatives are pondering whether to fine the homeless thousands of pounds. Laser focus! The Times’ has the scoop on the new self improvement devices you don’t need. Plus – Mum’s the word. Liz Hurley’s son Damian is in the spotlight – with questions over his credentials beyond family ties…  Miranda Sawyer is joined by Popbitch e...

In today’s special edition, we’re thrilled to be joined by two former Prime Ministers to look at the hot news stories of the day. On the agenda: Maths for Meals. Rishi Sunak wants kids to pass numeracy tests for free school meals. Penny Pinchers. Piggy banks to be accepted as deposits for 0.00003% mortgages. Plus –  Generation Sex. A Guardian journalist has tested out a Boomer, Millennial and Gen...

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Monkey Business. We tell the story of Honshu, the Japanese macaque’s highland adventure. Can’t get no Satisfaction! The Daily Mail highlights the plight of a mother of 5 who has never climaxed. Plus – The Famine Queen. We take a look at the legacy of Queen Victoria and then wash our mouths out with soap and water.     Miranda Sawyer is joined by New...

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Coked Up Crustaceans. Sewage scandal leaves sealife high as a flying fish. Pulp crucifixion. The Easter culture wars are here, and The Telegraph is leading the charge. Plus – Fancy that! The Independent laments the ‘crush crash’, but what is it?    Jacob Jarvis is joined by LBC host Natasha Devon and comedian Jessica Fostekew.    Help us to grow Pape...

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Tenuous Royal Connection. How have the papers managed to connect Prince Harry to the P Diddy raid? Strapper’s delight. Give pegging a chance, says the i’s doyenne of sex columnists Kate Lister i. Plus – Mission Kim Possible! Why on earth did North Korea blur out Alan Titchmarsh’s trousers? Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist Jonn Elledge and comed...

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Don Poorleone. Former President and fake tan enthusiast Donald Trump manages to escape financial disaster for now. The Generational Game. The Times outlines the hallmarks of each generation – and we disagree heartily. Plus – Hopping Nad. Nadine Dorries is feeling herself at sixty-six – and she’s telling anybody who’ll listen. Alex von Tunzelmann is j...

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Anarchy in the Monarchy. The fallout from Kate’s cancer diagnosis panics the broadsheets. Vive La Révolution! French feminist tells women to strike for a better life. Plus – Stormy Wether. A Times journalist tries 24 hours in a Wetherspoon’s. Does he make it? Miranda Sawyer is joined by comedians Marcus Brigstocke and Rosie Holt. Help us to grow Pape...

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The shirt hits the fans. Nike’s ‘playful’ update on the newest England kits causes a completely proportional right wing meltdown. Trunk and disorderly. Botswana threatens to send 10,000 elephants to the UK. Plus – How do you eat yours? It’s Creme Egg season, and The Telegraph goes into full investigation mode. Miranda Sawyer is joined by Hits Radio a...

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Yes Sir! French President Macron goes full thirst trap on the front page of The Telegraph – and Obama’s getting praised for his flat tummy too. Late life crisis. The ninety-year-olds turning it around in their twilight years. Plus – Check you out! The Telegraph is taking on the big issues again: why self-checkouts are apparently terrible.      Alex v...

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Pap smear. Sneaky Kate photo snapper tells everyone else to leave the Princess alone. Smells like teen dispirit. The earth's burning, there’s a housing crisis but the papers are still wondering why young people aren’t as happy as their parents. Plus – Drop it like Grandma. Need style tips? Look to your gran. Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist Jon...

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Well that settles that… or does it? The Sun has found Princess Kate outside a farmhouse in Windsor, but the masses are unconvinced. Sense and Insensibility. Jeremy Clarkson’s had a go at ‘boring’ Jane Austen and The Star isn’t having it. Plus – Gone with the Widows. Scottish Widows Group Limited told they can’t say widows any more. Help us to grow Pa...

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Follow the leader? Is Penny Mordaunt about to topple Rishi Sunak? Oh the Cheek! Why men are working on bountiful booties. Plus – Love is in the airplane? The people brought together by missed connections ads.  Miranda Sawyer is joined by i columnist Rebecca Reid and comedian Marcus Brigstocke. Help us to grow Paper Cuts! Send this link to THREE mates...

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Stag-nation. The May General election is OFF and we’re all bereft. Sparkle with Markle. The Duchess of Sussex teaches us how to make marmalade and more with her new “lifestyle brand”. Plus – Yeah, I’m a DINKWAD, wad of it? The Times has the scoop on the new social groups and we’re struggling to keep up. Miranda Sawyer is joined by reporter at Politic...

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Clock Is TikToking! The US is on the verge of banning TikTok over links to the Chinese Government. That sinking feeling. Australian billionaire wants to relaunch the Titanic and the reception is icy. Plus – Not like the other girls. The Mail’s women-are-rubbish correspondent Samantha Brick has never been dumped… because she’s just better than you.   ...

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Donor Kebabbed! The Guardian reveals more of Tory donor Frank Hester’s ‘jokes’ – and no one is laughing.  Mum’s the word. Pop star Lily Allen says having kids ruined her career. Plus – Woof justice. Vet watchdog says bills are too high and the papers have the lead.  Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist Jonn Elledge of and comedian Rosie Holt. Suppo...

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Picture Imperfect! The press jumps to the defence of amateur photographer Kate Middleton and we aren’t buying it. Lee’s done another runner. Former Labour councillor turned Conservative turned independent turns to Farage’s Reform UK in shock party swap. Plus – Not written in the stars. Gen Z are refusing to work with non-compatible star signs, which...

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Photo strop! A doctored photo of Kate Middleton sends the press reeling. That’s showbiz. The 2024 Oscars ran smoothly, but there were still some surprise winners. Plus – Feeling Crabby! The Guardian’s deep dive into Margate’s crab museum is exactly what we needed today. Miranda Sawyer is joined by The Critic’s Rob Hutton and comedian and actor Rich F...

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: I’m every (international) Woman. It’s International Women’s day, so naturally the papers get women competing against one another. Barklife! Crufts is back and the papers have exactly as many dog photos as you’d want. Plus – Stink-Eye For the Queer Guy. Rolling Stone’s exposé of shenanigans at Queer Eye explains everything and we’re “totally here for...

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: A budget budget for the budget conscious. Jeremy Hunt’s gave his (hopefully last) budget and the press are divided. The secret sex lives of the nation. We read The Times’ article on British bedroom habits so you don’t have to. Plus – A slice of cake and a novelty spoon! The Oscars goodie bags are… really underwhelming.     Jacob Jarvis is joined by j...

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Keeping Up With The Sunaks. The PM and wife sit down with Grazia magazine for an interview that redefines the word “uncomfortable”. What’s the beef? The Times gets judgey about Greggs. Plus – Glitz and Clamour. The Guardian investigates why celebrity red carpet interviews are going off the rails. Miranda Sawyer is joined by TLDR News Lead Writer Ben...