Podmasters
Paper Cuts
Have you SEEN the state of the papers today? PAPER CUTS has. In our thrice weekly podcast, some of Britain’s sharpest commentators and funniest comedians come together to look at the madness, the strangeness, the obsessions, and – occasionally – the brilliance of our national press. Host Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalists and comedians like Jonn Elledge, Grainne Maguire, Jacob Jarvis, Ava Santina, Jacob Hawley, Marcus Brigstocke, Coco Khan and many more. Illustrations by Modern Toss: https://moderntoss.com
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Episodes
King Charles’ pay day blowout – Fake tan wars – Hot dog! Meet the world’s best competitive eater 24.07.2024 35:27
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Wind farm windfall. The Telegraph details King Charles' big green payout. Tangerine dream. The Times says fake tan is back, baby. Plus – I’ll have whatever he’s having! The Guardian profiles competitive eating legend Takeru Kobayashi. Alex von Tunzelmann is joined by American Friction host Jacob Jarvis and comedian Grainne Maguire. Come and see us L...
Keep Kamala and carry on: Who is Harris? – Family misfortunes! Lost at sea with mum and dad – The Sun fixes Britain's orgasm crisis 23.07.2024 33:29
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Lights, Kamala, action! VP Harris takes the fight to Trump. The tide is high. A family survives a month on a life raft in The Guardian. Plus – Come again? The Sun wants to close the orgasm gap with nine saucy bedroom tips. Alex von Tunzelmann is joined by Podmasters head honcho Andrew Harrison and stand-up comedian Alex Kealy. Come and see us LIVE a...
Joe-ver and out! Biden quits race – Bride Wars: Tradwives vs Witches – Robo Frock! AI rocks the fashion industry 22.07.2024 33:46
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Commander in relief. The papers react as President Biden quits the election. Something wicked this way comes. The worrying trend of tradwives and witchcraft are profiled in The Guardian. Plus – The devil wears A.I. The Times shares a strange story of an AI fashion influencer. Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist and host of Pod Save the UK Coco...
Record jail time for Just Stop Oil activists – Pret heartbreak for coffee lovers – Would you help your love rat best mate? 19.07.2024 32:13
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Oil and trouble. Imprisoned environmental activists are plastered on the front page of The Telegraph. Wake up and smell the coffee. We mourn the end of Pret’s ‘too good to be true’ subscription in The Guardian. Plus – Dangerous liaisons. The Daily Mail shares the tale of a man who helped his best friend cheat and we are not amused. Miranda Sawyer...
Starmer's plans drive the Mail crazy – Taking the Mickey! Kids ditch Disney – The latest weird male spirituality trend 18.07.2024 34:05
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The King and why? The Mail isn’t happy with the Labour Government’s plans laid out in the King’s speech. The Mickey Mouse Snub. Is Disney about to run out of young fans? Plus – Take it to the max! The Guardian tries to explain the latest online wellness trend for men: Auramaxing. Alex von Tunzelmann is joined by journalist Jonn Elledge and comedian...
He’s going home: Southgate quits England – What is a “shut up ring”? – Daniel Craig’s bad hair day 17.07.2024 30:08
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The lion sleeps tonight. Gareth Southgate quits and Fleet Street pay their respects. He’s just not that into you. Kate Lister explores the trend of “shut up rings” in The i. Plus – Lunatic fringe. The Times has some opinions on Daniel Craig’s new hair do. Miranda Sawyer is joined by the host of American Friction Jacob Jarvis and writer and host of Q...
Who is Trump’s hillbilly running mate? – The Guardian guide to Brat Summer – No Cap! Gen Z learn some manners 16.07.2024 34:51
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Huckleberry Veep. Who is JD Vance and why did Trump pick him as a running mate? I’m just living that lifestyle. The Guardian embraces Brat Summer. Plus – My Fair Gen Z. The Times has some lessons in etiquette for the young’uns. Alex von Tunzelmann is joined by journalist Holly Thomas and comedian Emma Sidi. Come and see us LIVE at the Cheerful Ea...
Pain in Spain: England fail to bring it home – Did God save Trump? – Inside the bonkers billionaire wedding of the year 15.07.2024 33:48
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: They think it’s olé over! The front pages mark England’s defeat in the Euro final. Divine intervention. Trump thanks God that he survived his assassination attempt in The Times. Plus – Bridezillionaire? The Sun shares details of the most spenny wedding of the year. Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist Rebecca Reid and stand-up comic Jacob Hawley....
Jailhouse shock! Prisons are full – Who killed the Great British House Party? – Would you go on a pigeon safari? 12.07.2024 28:00
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Half Time! Labour could shorten prison sentences to deal with capacity issues and The Telegraph is apoplectic. Fight for your right to party. Why can nobody throw a proper messy house party any more, ask an anxious Times. Plus – Birds of a feather. A journo goes on a ‘pigeon safari’ for the i and discovers some disturbing facts about the rats of the...
Is it coming home? England make the Euros final – Badenoch vs Braverman heats up – Clooney calls for Biden to quit 11.07.2024 29:45
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Wat a coincidence! Southgate’s boys made it to the final and every tabloid has the same headline. Handbags at dawn. It’s Suella “Cruella” Braverman vs Kemi “The Krusher” Badenoch as the Tory leadership race gets nasty. Plus – Clooney Bin. Former Batman tells President Biden to stand down in New York Times op ed. Alex Von Tunzelmann is joined by Oh Go...
Sleepy Joe wakes up for NATO – Is Starmer a sex symbol? – Inside the 5am wake up cult 10.07.2024 29:56
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Average Joe. Biden made a gaffeless speech at NATO but critics are still calling for him to step down. Sleeping with the enemy. The Spectator is lusting over Keir Starmer’s ‘rugby face’. Plus – Darkest before the dawn. A Guardian journo tries to wake up at 5am every day, fails miserably. Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist Sam Wolfson and stand-...
Reform’s “fake” candidates – Is your neighbour growing weed? – Bit of a Trifle! Is the 1960s diet for you? 09.07.2024 34:41
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Who are ya? The Guardian investigates the elusive Reform UK candidates. Gone to pot. The Mail thinks weed farms are taking over the suburbs. Plus – I don't want ANY spam! The Telegraph sends a journo back in time to eat like a 60s housewife. Alex Von Tunzelmann is joined by journalist Rebecca Reid and stand up comedian Alex Kealy. Come and see us LI...
Keir chooses his team – May divorce be with you? The Mail thinks so – Brits on the p*ss: a Times holiday guide 08.07.2024 33:52
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Cabinet of Curiosities. Starmer has appointed his new cabinet and The Telegraph has some opinions. Stuck in the midlife with you. The Daily Mail has figured out why so many women are leaving their husbands. Plus – Una Cerveza, Por Favor. Going on holiday? The Times has a list of dos and don’ts for Brits on their jollies. Miranda Sawyer is joined...
Election special: Bye bye Tories! 05.07.2024 29:34
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Keir we go! The front pages react to the Labour landslide. Electoral Reform. Farage’s party exceeded expectations and rained on our parade. Plus – Dress for success. We examine the sartorial choices of candidates, pundits and even ye olde mayors. Our intrepid hostess with the mostess Miranda Sawyer is joined by sleep deprived journalist Jonn Elledge...
Times up for Tories? Polls open – Tinfoil tents! Inside Glasto for conspiracy theorists – Could you live in Britain’s smelliest village? 04.07.2024 28:55
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Pick your player. It’s election day (don’t forget your ID) and the papers are picking teams. Even The Sun! It’s all gone a bit Pete Tong. The Times attends a conspiracy theory festival – at least that's what they want you to think. Plus – Smells fishy. The Telegraph investigates the most pungent village in Britain. Alex Von Tunzelmann is joined by j...
Can Boris Johnson save the Tories? – Hit the spot! Sex tips from lesbians – Foot for thought: Lily Allen’s million pound toes 03.07.2024 34:17
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: What a Johnson. Disgraced ex PM Boris Johnson is back and Fleet Street is thrilled. I kissed a girl. Kate Lister is back with some sapphic advice for straight men in The i. Plus – Hot to Trot. The Guardian dips its toes into the world of foot fetishes. Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist Natasha Devon and comic Gráinne Maguire. Come and see...
King Trump? Supreme Court’s bizarre ruling – What a load of ballots: Royal Mail screws up election – Guardian’s crazy cash challenge 02.07.2024 29:46
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Immune disorder. The FT explains the Supreme Court ruling that former presidents are partially immune from criminal prosecution. Royal Fail. The Mail blames the Royal Mail for missing postal ballots. Plus – Rainy day fund. The Guardian tries to save money – and fails miserably. Alex Von Tunzelmann is joined by journalist Rob Hutton and stand up come...
Jude Awakening: Bellingham keeps the England dream alive – The Guardian won’t shut up about Glastonbury – The ultimate guide to sobering up 01.07.2024 31:17
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: They think it’s all Slova . . . Front pages go mad for Jude Bellingham’s last minute goal. Post festival blues. The Guardian went to Glastonbury and they can’t stop bragging about it. Plus – Can you beat the breathalyser? The Telegraph explores how long it takes to sober up after a very boozy brunch. Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist Zoë...
The Mail’s latest election meltdown – Trump vs. Biden: We need to talk about Joe – Barking Mad! Are you a dog bore? 28.06.2024 42:20
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Supermajority black hole! The Daily Mail’s getting desperate to stop a Labour Government being too big, and they have a cunning (rubbish) plan. Let’s get ready to mumble. Trump and Biden went head-to-head and we all wish they hadn’t. Plus – Barking up the wrong tree! The joys of being a dog bore. Jacob Jarvis is joined by journalist and author Jonn E...
Election debate: Sunak shouts, Starmer pouts – Are we being forced to be vegetarians? – What your wedding seats says about you 27.06.2024 35:29
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Is it over yet? The press reacts to the final head-to-head TV debate between Sunak and Starmer. Beyond the Kale! The Telegraph is terrified that Britain is being tricked into being vegetarian. Plus – Aisle be back. What does where you get placed on the wedding seating plan say about you? Alex von Tunzelmann is joined by journalist and LBC host Natash...
England flop but come out on top – Are you pale, male and stale? – How to party like a New Yorker 26.06.2024 32:22
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: He shoots, he bores! England top their Group in the Euros despite a drab 0-0 draw. Pale, Male and Fail. A new quiz from The Times gets it all wrong. Plus – Party in the USA. The New York Times tells us how to (and how not to) party. Miranda Sawyer is joined by Westminster Editor for The Lead Zoë Grünewald and stand up comedian Jacob Hawley. Come and...
The Met frets over Tory bets – Sweaty girl summer! Heatwave fashion – Queen of Sheba: the woman who eats posh pet food 25.06.2024 33:48
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The gamble hasn’t paid off! The Tory election betting scandal gets further out of hand – now they’re blaming the Met police. Sun’s out, gilets out. The Times guide to what NOT to wear in the heatwave. Plus – Hungry like the wolf. The Atlantic says pet food is so good that humans are eating it. Alex von Tunzelmann is joined by journalist Holly Thomas...
Tory press turns on Farage – Harry Kane goes studs-up on Lineker – Four in a bed: The Mail embraces polyamory 24.06.2024 32:18
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Knock-off Nigel. Has Fleet Street flipped on Farage? He shoots, he bores! England Captain Harry Kane’s having a go at Gary Lineker for criticising the England team. Plus – Uh Oh… I’ve done a polyamory. A Mail journalist accidentally joins a quad-ruple. Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist and author Jonn Elledge and comedian and writer Fergus Crai...
Wanna bet? Sunak’s Tory gamble scandal – Fashionistas vs Brickies: who throws the best work parties? – Illustrated Mums: The Mail wants you to get inked 21.06.2024 30:27
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Take a chance on me. Odds are that the papers are talking about the Tory betting scandal. All work, all play. The Fence ranks industries by their staff parties. Plus – Tats all folks. The Daily Mail encourages their middle aged readers to get inked up. Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist Holly Thomas and comedian Andrew Maxwell. Come and see us L...
Could Sunak lose his seat? – Rave against the machine – The Mail: Buy a new face to boost your confidence 20.06.2024 36:47
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: They think it’s all over. . . Even The Telegraph is projecting a humiliating loss for the Tories. Dancing in the daylight. The Independent tells us about the middle aged ravers clubbing in the afternoon. Plus – What’s wrong with being confident? The Guardian and Daily Mail have conflicting views on how to believe in yourself, babez. Alex Von Tunzelm...
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