Paleo Bites

(image source: https://www.thoughtco.com/moeritherium-lake-moeris-beast-1093246 ) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Moeritherium , a pig-hippo-tapir thing that was actually closer related to elephants than any of those other creatures, because the only thing nature is consistent at is being inconsistent. From the Late Eocene, this 6-foot proboscid lived in the mangrove swa...

(image source: https://dino.fandom.com/wiki/Suuwassea) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Suuwassea , a dinosaur named after terms in the language of the Native American Crow Tribe just in time for Indigenous People's Day, because I'm really good at planning these things. It's not a coincidence, I swear. Pinkily so. From the Late Jurassic, this 45-foot dicraeosaurid saurop...

(image source: https://bit.ly/3PEeLaG) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Sinosauropteryx, the first non-avian dinosaur identified with feathers and thus the one to blame for the Jurassic Park style scaly raptors going out of fashion. Feathers can be monstrous too, guys! Just look at cassowaries. Or don't, they'll kill you. Kill you dead. And then disembowel you. Yeah. From th...

(image source: https://pixels.com/featured/3-dodo-bird-spencer-sutton.html?product=poster ) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Raphus , also known as the dodo and a shining example of anthropogenic extinction. That’s when humans completely kill a species, just in case you wanted a punch in the gut today. From the Early Holocene, this 3-foot tall columbid bird is one of the...

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/Deinonychus_ewilloughby_2931.jpg ) Host Matthew Donald and very special guest co-host Jason Singleton discuss Deinonychus , the one whose titular claw sparked the Dinosaur Revolution like a slash heard around the world. That’s an American Revolution reference, that joke. Know your history, even if it’s probably mostly propaganda. From the Mid Cret...

(image source: https://bit.ly/3Rhfwc6 ) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Cygnus falconeri , the biggest swan ever that towered over elephants… although to be fair the elephants on the island it lived on were dwarf elephants, so it’s kind of cheating. From the Late Pleistocene, this 10-foot-wingspan bird was undoubtedly the biggest asshole and probably bullied those poor l...

(image source: https://fanon.fandom.com/wiki/Homotherium_latidens_(SciiFii) ) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Homotherium , another one of those saber-toothed cats early humans had to deal with because we’ve never had enough problems. From the Mid Pliocene to the Late Pleistocene, this 5-foot machairodont felid was more like a saber-toothed cougar than a saber-toothed t...

(image source: https://bit.ly/3PfmRaG ) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Podokesaurus , the state dinosaur of Massachusetts, which really shows the lack of good fossils there and their sheer desperation in having a dino representative. From the Early Jurassic, this 3-foot coelophysid theropod was the first dinosaur discovered and described by a woman, which is definitely coo...

(image source: “Spinosaurus Through the Decades” by Mario Lanzas) Happy 200 episodes! Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Spinosaurus , a creature with so many different updates changing it up constantly it’s practically a modern video game. Was it a biped or a quadruped? Was it terrestrial or aquatic? Did it have a sail or a fin? Did it have a trunk like an elephant seal?...

(image source: Alberto Gennari/Nature via AP) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Perucetus , potentially the biggest animal ever because prehistory needs to one-up the modern day at every opportunity. Those blue whales really thought their crown was safe, didn’t they? Pity. From the Late Eocene, this 65-foot basilosaurid whale was discovered just a few weeks before this epi...

(image source: https://ideas.fandom.com/wiki/Thrinaxodon_(SciiFii) ) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Thrinaxodon , a stem mammal that did not have little pitchforks or sea-ruling weapons in their mouths, so they’re very inaccurately named. I question these so-called scientists sometimes. From the Early Triassic, this 3-foot cynodont was one of the survivors of the Great D...

(image source: https://prehistoric-life.fandom.com/wiki/Haikouichthys ) Host Matthew Donald, and guest Natasha Krech talk, Haikouichthys . An early chordate, or perhaps something weirder, we just don’t know yet. From the Cambrian, this 1-inch backboned fish-thing, lived early in time. As you’ve surely learned, this whole flippin’ episode, is all Haiku form. Even the title fits, and the description...

(image source: https://bit.ly/3OtbH1P ) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Cryolophosaurus , the first dinosaur described and named from Antarctica. That’s pretty cool. Haha, geddit? GEDDIT?! You get it. From the Early Jurassic, this 22-foot neotheropod lived when the continent was still kind of nice and full of trees and ferns, kind of like Alaska in the summer. Ugh, can...

(image source: https://bit.ly/44PPyQG ) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Cici Eilert discuss Rhabdodon , the Iguanodon equivalent of the Maastrichtian age and an archetypal example of insular gigantism. None of that statement made any sense to dinosaur or biology normies, I’m sure. From the Late Cretaceous, this 20-foot ornithopod lived in the European islands around the Hateg basin and had t...

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Mononykus ) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Mononykus , a dinosaur that was really good at poking and pretty much nothing else with those singular claws of theirs. They could point, poke, and pork. That’s it. Good night, everyone. From the Late Cretaceous, this 3-foot alvarezsaurid probably lived like an anteater picking bugs...

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ophthalmosaurus ) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Ophthalmosaurus , an eye-catcher of a creature that sees the seas with optimal precision, and other eye-related jokes. From the Late Jurassic, this 16-foot ichthyosaur probably used its massive eyes to catch schools of fish in deep waters, meaning it used its pupils to catch pup...

(image source: https://www.sciencephoto.com/contributor/jsi/ ) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Lagosuchus , a long-legged little lunatic that was named like a crocodile but is actually closer related to dinosaurs… then again dinosaurs are often named like they’re lizards when they’re patently not. From the Early Triassic, this 2-foot archosaur was not related to rabbits...

(image source: https://www.sci.news/paleontology/transylvanosaurus-platycephalus-11423.html ) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Cici Eilert discuss Transylvanosaurus , a dinosaur with a name far scarier than this cute little critter would suggest, but I suppose Romanian means vampires, am I right? From the Late Cretaceous, this 6-foot rhabdodontid lived in an island paradise alongside some oth...

(image source: Beasts of the Mesozoic action figure line) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Tsaagan , a raptor from Mongolia that is decidedly not Velociraptor for some reason isn’t due to some minor differences in the skull or whatever. And yet Dracorex … ugh, forget it. From the Late Cretaceous, this 5-foot dromaeosaur got its name from a local Mongolian term for “white...

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Dacentrurus ) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Dacentrurus , a dinosaur from Europe that had a bunch of points at its end and a set of symmetrical plates on its front, kind of like if a dinner table was a dinosaur. From the Late Jurassic, this 30-foot stegosaur is one of the best known of its family from Europe, and also i...

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Peltephilus ) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Cici Eilert discuss Peltephilus , a large armadillo with the squarest ass you’ve ever seen. Seriously, there’s just flesh and fur one inch and then none the next. From the Oligocene epoch, this 6-foot xenathran mammal was thought to be a predator at first until they realized it was like regular arm...

(image source: https://a-z-animals.com/animals/diplodocus/ ) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Diplodocus , the longest of long boys and the absorber of the awesome but sadly now dubious genus Seismosaurus . Earthquake lizard go kaput. Sad. From the Late Jurassic, this 100-foot sauropod lived in the golden age of its family with so many damn longneck dinosaurs that it’s har...

(image source: https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2208044119 ) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Mammut , also known as the American mastodon because this is one of those creatures that has a generic name as well as a scientific name, like why we called lions lions instead of P. leo like we do T. rex . From the Late Pliocene, this 10-foot-tall mammutid isn’t really clo...

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Halszkaraptor )  Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Halszkaraptor , a relative of those monstrous raptors more akin to a duck or goose, which is actually far more terrifying. From the Late Cretaceous, this 2-foot dromaeosaur had numerous adaptations for fishing and a semi-aquatic existence, which sounds like a peaceful l...

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Geosternbergia ) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Geosternbergia , a pterosaur that really wants you to know it’s named after George Sternberg as its binomial name is Geosternbergia sternbergi . How much did the Sternberg estate pay for this, I wonder? From the Late Cretaceous, this 24-foot-wingspan pteradactyloid was though...