Only If You Can Keep Up

Fairy tales were never really made for kids… and this week we’re proving it. We’re digging into the eerie world of Grimm fairy tales, the darker versions hidden behind the stories we grew up hearing, and why so many of them feel more cursed than comforting. It’s strange, creepy, violent, and honestly kind of fascinating that they took crazy morbid tales and turned them into stories that we now lov...

This week we’re diving into all the things society changed without us even knowing. From the days of whispering on a cellphone in public like you were handling government secrets… to now hearing someone’s full FaceTime breakup in the cereal aisle. We’re talking about the weird shift in what used to be considered rude, normal, embarrassing, or completely unacceptable. From feral restaurant kids and...

Yep you read that right.. something that’s been misunderstood and twisted into something it’s not for a long time. In this episode, we dig into where it actually comes from, rooted in West African spiritual traditions and shaped by history, survival, and resilience. We talk about the real practices, rituals, ancestors, and what those symbols actually mean, while separating truth from all the myths...

Somewhere between dogs tracking in mud on a fresh cleaned floor and fighting a Ziploc bag that refuses to zip, life quietly declares war. In this episode, we spiral through the tiny, ridiculous annoyances that shouldn’t matter… but absolutely do. Cabinets that won’t stay shut, phones that sense the exact moment you try to nap, and all the little things that slowly chip away at your sanity one inco...

Time for another PORCH TALK.. for all you new peeps out there wondering, a porch talk is where we act like we are sitting on the porch having a nice good long chat! Because the best talks are always outside on the porch. We never have a script for these and most of them subject jump pretty quick, but I can almost promise you will laugh at least once! SO buckle up and enjoy! Send us Fan Mail If you...

Some laws make sense… and then there are the ones that feel like they were written after someone lost a very specific argument in 1872. Did you know it's illegal to put a donkey in a bathtub?? Seriously! In this episode, we spiral into the wonderfully weird world of laws that should not still exist, but they somehow do. From oddly specific bans to rules that raise more questions than answers,...

This week we wander through the wild ways humans say goodby, from fiery send-offs inspired by Viking funerals to seated wakes where the guest of honor is still… attending. We also talk about some of our traditions, where things can get a little strange, a little expensive, and wonder why we do funerals the way we do. We also have some facts you might not know about funerals, burials, and some pecu...

Remember your first love? First Kiss? First Tattoo? Now rewind to your first time feeling truly alone… yeah, that one hits different. In this episode, we spiral through our “firsts” that quietly shape who we became. The moment we realized we weren’t like everyone else, the first time we felt like we were actually getting older. This episode is full of some of our firsts. Some are fun, some are wei...

It’s another Porch Talk, and as usual… we spiral a little. We’re talking kids with devices basically attached to their faces, why does the world feel kinda off lately?, and of course, because we can’t help ourselves, the weather makes an appearance. There’s some randomness, some laughs, and a few “wait… why is it like that?” moments. Send us Fan Mail If you like this episode, make sure to follow a...

Imagine a world where the internet never existed. No endless scrolling, no notifications buzzing in your pocket, no rabbit holes that start with a recipe and end with a conspiracy about lizard people. In this episode, we explore what life might look like if humanity never built the digital web that now connects everything. Would our attention spans be longer? Would mental health be stronger withou...

What if we’re just background characters in a cosmic video game? What if the Earth is flat like a divine pancake? What if planes are out here seasoning the sky like it’s a giant invisible casserole?  This week we cannonball straight into the conspiracy pool. We chat about the simulation theory, Flat Earth, solar panels and the ever-mysterious plane seeding situation. Then we sprinkle in a few deli...

In this episode, we dive headfirst into the wonderfully weird world of the human body. The stuff it does. The secrets it keeps. The tiny, bizarre habits it has. No medical degrees. No boring lectures. Just us spiraling in real time over the fact that we are basically self-heating, noise-making, occasionally glitching meat computers trying our best. Prepare to laugh, question everything, and maybe...

In this month's Porch Talk, we let the conversation wander wherever it wants to go. No outline. No script. Just two brains free-ranging like they slipped the fence and decided to explore. It’s chaotic. It’s unfiltered. It’s exactly what happens when you put us on a metaphorical porch with microphones and zero supervision. If you like your conversations unpredictable, slightly unhinged, and fu...

In this episode, we wander through the curious museums inside our own brains and closets, talking about the things we have collected over the years and the oddly specific interests that refuse to leave us alone. From sentimental keepsakes and childhood treasures to the wonderfully weird items we somehow ended up with multiples of, we unpack why we keep what we keep and what those objects quietly s...

OK so you know that weird thing that you do behind closed doors that you would never want the world to know about, well we are here to talk about ours! Tune in to find out some of the crazy things we do, maybe it will make you feel better about your weird quirks!  Send us Fan Mail If you like this episode, make sure to follow and SHARE the show!  If you need to get ahold of us for ANY reason.. you...

In this episode, we dive into the strangest jobs you probably never considered but are very glad someone is doing. From crime scene cleanup and the scientists who read insects like a timeline after death, to the less grim but equally unexpected worlds of porta-potty cleaning and professional cuddling, dog food testers and so many more. It’s part fascinating, part uncomfortable, and occasionally hi...

Some places on Earth aren’t just hard to live in…they’re off-limits. In this episode, we explore locations humans aren’t meant to settle, survive, or sometimes even visit. From an island so packed with venomous snakes it looks like the ground is moving, to a tribe that has made it very clear they want no contact, to abandoned islands shaped by disease, death, and dark history. We talk about why pe...

Buckle up for another porch talk. In this awesome episode we talk about therapy, gentle parenting, a little childhood nostalgia and so many more random things that just pop up! Tune in... only if you can keep up Send us Fan Mail If you like this episode, make sure to follow and SHARE the show!  If you need to get ahold of us for ANY reason.. you can do so at onlyifyoucankeepup@gmail.com You can al...

Unpopular Opinions, we all have them. We are allowed to not like the way some things happen or the way something tastes. It's never fun to announce to the world that you hate pizza, but hey some people just dont! You never know you might stop mid-thought and whisper “wait… same.” Tune in to see if you agree or disagree with some of ours!  Send us Fan Mail If you like this episode, make sure t...

Why not bring in the new year talking about a good ole Apocalypse?  We each unleash an apocalypse we totally made up, paint the scene like it’s already happening, and then reveal what we’d actually do when the world goes sideways. No scripts, no rules, just feral imagination, mildly sensible plans, and life-choices we definitely haven’t thought through completely. It’s less “fight for your life” a...

From tinsel-dusted living rooms to LED-blasted rooftops, we unwrap how Christmas has evolved decade by decade. We talk decorations that used to sparkle without screaming at you, music that shaped generations, gifts that tell the story of the times, and the changing world of holiday shopping, from catalogs to midnight online cart marathons. We also get real about the glow-up no one asked for: light...

This week we’re on the porch spiraling through the internet relics that absolutely shaped us and would probably get a school shut down today. From eBaum’s World and sketchy computer lab discoveries to the weird thrill of doing things online we definitely weren’t supposed to. We also get into randonauting, why it still feels unsettling, the quiet stress of the holidays no one warns you about, and a...

We dive into the eerie halls of Zak Bagans’ Haunted Museum, exploring some of its most unsettling rooms and infamous objects. From cursed relics to themed spaces designed to rattle your nerves, we break down what makes this place so intense, the stories behind it, and why people swear the energy follows them home. Send us Fan Mail If you like this episode, make sure to follow and SHARE the show! ...

In this episode, we dive headfirst into the shows that have imprinted on our souls. Some shows we have watched over and over.  We dive into Grey’s Anatomy, teleport to Hawkins for our regularly scheduled supernatural crisis in Stranger Things, gossip with the dearly departed on Ghosts, and unravel the cosmic ethics homework disguised as The Good Place. Dexter, Call the Midwife, House, and some oth...

In this episode, we fall down the lunar rabbit hole and realize… the Moon makes zero sense and we love her for it. We talk eclipses that turn daylight strange, the dark side of the moon, and all the mysteries that still slip through our fingers. From stories and spiritual beliefs to modern theories that sound like cosmic riddles, we explore how the Moon shapes tides, myths, moods and maybe even th...