One Bad Mother

Biz and Theresa wonder if we should stand up for our partners when our kids show a preference for us. “I don’t want Papa to take me!” “I love Mama more, it's just a fact.” We get that this is developmental in many ways but maybe, on those dark days, our resentment might cloud our response. “Well, of course they love me more, I’m president of everything!” Oops. Maybe we are the jerk. Plus Biz gets...

Biz and Theresa pat ourselves on the back for past parenting decisions only to realize that now, we’re not sure those choices were right. “They are just clothes. I won’t be mad if you play in them and they get dirty.” Fast forward a month….(internal monologue) “Am I ok with her wearing THAT while playing in mud?” Do we speak up or cram it down and seethe? Plus Biz ate that bunny, Theresa isn’t nic...

Biz and Theresa wonder how long we should let something go on that our kids are doing. It's easy enough to say “okay” to our child’s collection of rocks, but when are there too many rocks? At what point do we draw the line? Do we worry that peers will think our kids are weird or is it just about our personal comfort level? Plus Biz thinks some games are weird, Theresa takes a break and we welcome...

Biz and Theresa celebrate our 300th episode! Wooooooooo! Who knew we’d have so much to talk about? Plus Biz smells a mystery, Theresa was sick and we talk to Cathy Guisewite, the creator of the "Cathy" comic strip about her new book  Fifty Things That Aren't My Fault . Find out more from Cathy on Instagram at  cathygwite  or on her website at  Cathyguisewite.com . Her book  Fifty Things That Aren'...

Biz and Theresa awaken to our true purpose as mothers and feel fulfilled and at peace…as nature intended. APRIL FOOLS! Plus Helen Ellis returns to talk about her new book, Southern Lady Code, a collection of personal essays. Follow Helen Ellis on Twitter  @WhatIDoAllDay  and on Instagram at  americanhousewife . Her book  Southern Lady Code  is available for pre-order now. You can listen to the Sou...

Biz and Theresa accept the horrible truth that with time and experience, having sick kids hasn’t gotten easier. Plus, we talk about sex with sex-positive therapist Moushumi Ghose. This is Week Two of the #MaxFunDrive and you can join or upgrade your membership and get awesome thank-you gifts at maximumfun.org/donate -- AND WE THANK YOU. You can find more from Moushumi on her website  Moushumighose...

Biz and Theresa get stuck holding the bag… and  the water bottles,  and  the half eaten sandwich,  and  the “art”  and  the toddler. Where in all those parenting books did it warn us that there would be so much carrying? Perhaps it's less about the stuff and more about feeling like a haggard and broken coat rack left outside? Yeah, probably. Plus, Biz does not know, Theresa gets a clue, and we are...

  Biz and Theresa discuss family scheduling. Once all of the basics are set, like school/daycare drop offs and pick ups, work, doctor appointments and groceries, adding extra activities like classes and play dates is enough to make us want to go out for milk and never come home. Whether our kids thrive on doing many activities or we subscribe to “not over-scheduling kids,” a lot of brain space is...

Biz and Theresa wonder how spiritually corrupt we are what with all the lying to our kids in order to get them to eat. Probably not very corrupt. Plus Biz and Theresa are live from Portland with special guest and all around rad dad, Chris Routly! Follow Chris Routly on Twitter  @ChrisRoutly  or on his website at  Routly.com . His book  Sometimes You Need A Jellyfish  is out now. If you want more i...

Biz and Theresa wonder if answering honestly is the right thing to do when our kids ask questions like, “Do I overreact?” Or should we lie, lie, lie so as not to shatter their confidence? Plus Biz and Theresa are excited about our trip, and we welcome back Janet Stickmon to talk about her new book,  To Black Parents Visiting Earth: Raising Black Children in the 21st Century . Listen to our previou...

Biz and Theresa discuss being emotional sponges. Even if totally stationary, we are somehow able to reach maximum absorption. So how does one go about getting a good squeezing? How can a parent tell when to step back and when to step in when our kids are riding an emotional roller coaster? Plus Biz was reminded parents exist and Theresa won’t carry that load. Follow us on Instagram! We are at  one...

Biz and Theresa try to answer the question posed by many kids looking to have more freedom, “What’s a kid gotta do to get mature around here?” We often tell our kids that when they are “more mature” they will get more responsibility, but what does that mean exactly? Plus Biz was there, Theresa leans into Netflix and everyone gets rilled up about parental inequality with guest Amy Westervelt, autho...

Biz and Theresa explore the idea that the more things change the more they stay the same. What we discover is, that just means that parenting is still happening…always. Plus Biz got a little something, time keeps marching on for Theresa and we talk to social activist and author Jodie Patterson about gender, identity and her new memoir,  The Bold New World: A Memoir of Family and Transformation . C...

Biz and Theresa discuss how confident we feel in our parenting choices…that is until someone else is suddenly there, watching! Maybe it's at the dinner table or in the car, we have worked hard to make these places the perfect balance of controlled chaos with minimal amounts of soul sucking. It works! It makes sense! Then a friend or relative comes to visit and even if they say nothing, their prese...

Biz and Theresa try to define “mom hair.” Simple? Practical? Low maintenance? Inevitable disappointment when it doesn’t make us look like we don’t have kids? We can agree that calling it “mom hair” is just another way to insult moms. Plus Biz makes a discovery and Theresa is getting really good at this…still. Check out our book!  You're Doing A Great Job!: 100 Ways You're Winning at Parenting! Tha...

Biz and Theresa are hearing a lot of the phrase: I want it! What do we say to our kids when they have a "case of the gimmes" or are constantly telling us about all the stuff they want? In theory, a simple, “No, you can’t have that,” should be enough…but when is that ever enough? It's exhausting and annoying and giving in would be easy…sooooooo easy, but there is probably a life lesson our kids nee...

Biz and Theresa ask the big question…is there anything we like doing together as a family? Togetherness, a word that goes hand in hand with family and yet, in practice, seems hard to achieve (unless you count everyone sleeping in the same house as togetherness). Is there a small window where we all like doing the same thing or is the secret in accepting that there is no perfect togetherness scenar...

Biz and Theresa kiss 2018 goodbye with our 3rd ever HOLIDAY genius fail spectacular plus rants show….take that 2018! It’s time to sit back and be reminded that none of us are alone and that somebody is always forgetting their wallet in their other purse. Check out our book!  You're Doing A Great Job!: 100 Ways You're Winning at Parenting! Thank you to all our listeners who support the show as  mon...

Biz and Theresa explore our feelings about being the designated Finder of Things at home. How can we help our kids learn to keep track of their own sh*t? Especially when we’ve probably secretly thrown at least 25% of it in the trash when they weren’t looking? Whoops! Plus, Biz has a case of the mummies and Theresa misses routine. Happy Holidays! We’ll be back the first week of January with a very...

Biz and Theresa check in on how “mom-like” we are feeling lately. What makes us  really  feel like a mom? Let’s go ahead and say it isn’t clothing or van based. Plus Biz is reminded that Christmas specials are messed up too, and Theresa’s kids get a lesson on marriage. Check out our book!  You're Doing A Great Job!: 100 Ways You're Winning at Parenting! Thank you to all our listeners who support t...

Biz and Theresa ponder the question, “Would we want another parent to tell us if our kid was being not-so-great?” On the flip side, when should we speak up as a truly concerned member of “the village” and when should we trust that the parents already know and just stay out of it? Plus, Biz says something bad, Theresa remembered sleep is good, and we talk to author KJ Dell’Antonia about being a hap...

Biz and Theresa make a shocking discovery…there is living with kids and then there is parenting and they require totally different skill sets! Once this has been realized, the struggles we face make a lot more sense. It is WAY easier to parent when you are alone and living with people is challenging. Is it that parenting is hard or is it that living with kids MAKES it hard? Regardless, it's one mo...

Biz and Theresa face the hard question many women may find themselves needing to answer around the holidays: “Am I supposed to want a vacuum for Christmas?” Gift circulars that advertise gifts for the whole family suggest that kids want toys, dad needs a new television or gaming console to escape the noise, and then there is a picture of a vacuum. Now, who could that be for? Are we supposed to onl...

Biz and Theresa take another look at the emotional land mines that lurk around every corner with kids. Everything going well? Wonderful! Wait! Is that a tomato on their dinner plate? RUN!!! It's hard to be on the receiving end of a meltdown by a child who is still developmentally figuring it all out. It also feels bad to live in a constant state of trying to predict the future in order to avoid me...

Biz and Theresa explore the experience of feeling glad we had kids….mostly when we are away from our kids. Are we just jerks? Or do we need the silence and space in order to appreciate the chaos? Plus Biz learns the whereabouts of the Illuminati, Theresa doesn't complete a triathlon and we talk to Dr. Kimberly N. Parker about racism and preschools. Follow Dr. Kim Parker on Twitter  @TchKimPossible...