On Her Terms with Nikki Elledge Brown

Let's leverage the power of dopamine and heart our OWN posts of progress. In this message we're talking about the power of external tracking and validating ourSELVES as we establish these new habits. Stickers, Sharpies, streaks and stacks - time to find a system that works for you. (It's the #onherterms way.) I use a 12x 12 wall calendar with symbols and shorthand for each habit I'm building. (Cur...

What's your personal resistance routine? When do you tend to have more will power to challenge your default thoughts (and let mom brain talk you into beneficial action)? When do you tend to have slippery-fish-style excuses to talk you into maintaining the status quo? My resistance seems to snooze till around lunchtime these days. I tend to be most energized and optimistic in my first few waking ho...

Habit creation, continued... This is for the moments when you just don't want to do it (because those moments will absolutely happen). Try leaving the door open, cracked, even just UNLOCKED so your *mom brain* voice can step in and do what she does best. She holds the line, the standard, and the longer term vision for you. She's got great ideas on how to support you and what you say you want. "Yes...

Life is life-ing. Always will be. It's fun to ride the wave of inspiration when we're high on energy, time, focus, etc, and some days we just have less gas in the tank. Less space in the calendar. Harder to find a rhythm, for any collection of reasons. Let's talk about how we can plan for that and still show up for ourselves how we want to. What's the bare mini / minimum viable progress version yo...

If you're talking yourself out of action because you think it's "massive action" or bust (and "massive action" sounds exhausting), give this one a listen. It can be so helpful to broaden our definition of habit-creation success, deciding on a SPECTRUM instead of a binary. Good-better-best style, which I discuss in THIS related episode on resetting goals and timelines when we feel "behind." The tri...

We've talked about SEEING new habits as oldies with the HABIT HALO concept. Now let's talk about actively bringing them into time and space with the buddy system (and/or time tethers). Think of it like a Big Sister / Big Brother program. Or training wheels. A leash or a lead. Whatever works for your brain, as long as it helps you see the power in letting your new habit carpool (or at least caravan...

Been a busy bee building habits to support my physical (and mental, overall!) health this year (2024). In this episode (and the next several to follow) I'll be sharing reframes, tips, and tricks that have helped me get into motion after years of "knowing" but not doing the things that once felt intimidating or too hard. I'll also share resources and pros that have been helpful to me in all the are...

Had no plans to record a message today, but this acronym / message came through SO quickly I had to hot potato it directly to pod form for us. (This is what I mean by hot 'n fresh Krispy Kreme content !) *The main course starts around 4:20. Four Qs to help you purchase with more presence and power, now and forever: W is for WHY: why do I want this? what's the itch I'm trying to scratch? what's the...

The true, generative power of SUSTAINABLE service. Offering and creating things that give you satisfaction in the process, closing that feedback loop REGARDLESS of what other peoples do with it. When the reward for your efforts isn't dependent on anyone else's response or reaction you're free. That's your power. Completing the circuit, like you're an actual human generator. Content, money, love yo...

I've been writing about this in my manuscript(s) for years. Time to anchor it into audio for us: Takiing care of you is NOT optional. It's the key to sustainable generosity. You gotta take care of you *so that* you can care for your people. A great book on this topic: Real Self-Care by Dr. Pooja Lakshmin 📮 Thoughts, Qs, topics you’d love to hear more about? Share here >> onherterms.com/conv...

Call me lazy. Sometimes I need rest. Most of the time I prefer efficiency. Suffering isn't superior and we don't earn bonus points for taking the most complicated, exhausting route. Let me know what comes up as you listen to this one! 📮 Thoughts, Qs, topics you’d love to hear more about? Share here >> onherterms.com/convo ❤️ If this episode resonates, share it with a friend (or three). The...

There's so much value in getting a fresh perspective on your personal scenario. But there's so much fun and fulfillment in long-term REALationships. People who have been tracking with you for SEASONS and are fully invested in the storytline. Reflecting on that (and a wild season of Suits consumption) in this one. Let me know what it sparks for you! 📮 Thoughts, Qs, topics you’d love to hear more a...

Thoughts when babies fly the nest - whether they're 2 or 22. Recorded in Sept. 2022. "Go and grow." When love transcends (and our connection doesn't hinge on) physical presence. The value of the VILLAGE. How fast time can go (in a meta or a micro sense - time for pickup!) What do you want to do with this time? (spoiler: it's not to tie yourself to your desk.) 📮 Thoughts, Qs, topics you’d love to...

A friendly reminder to you and me that (even despite our best efforts to be honest and transparent!), the internet is a reality tv show. Info is limited, skewed, and some is straight up false. The highlight REAL includes more than what makes the REEL. (Sidenote: Remind me to tell you about my horrible haircut and how this was hammered home in a whole new way. Bc whew.) That's all. It's an inc...

A word-nerd study and hypothesis: If ambition is "a strong desire or determination to succeed" and success is "the accomplishment of an aim or purpose" and purpose is "the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists" .... the ultimate AMBITION is to live the life *only* you can live, in the way that feels most powerful and true to YOU and what you value. Sometimes f...

This message pairs well with You're Not Behind on the Naptime Empires feed. This message proposes a new visual / metaphor to help you see the track / comparison / sense of urgency actually isn't REAL. Life isn't a competition. It's a creation. You're. not. behind. Instead of a track with others running towards a timed finish, what if you saw your journey as a vibey treadmill experience? What if yo...

A reframe inspired by Clueless, the first day of school outfit selection, and this classic message by Yes Yes Marsha : “No one’s thinking about me. Everyone’s thinking about themselves, just like I am right now.” - Marsha Shandur 📮 Thoughts, Qs, topics you’d love to hear more about? Share here >> onherterms.com/convo ❤️ If this episode resonates, share it with a friend (or three). The more...

Been meaning to anchor this thought in for a while. A spoiler from 12 years deep into my parenting journey: Contrary to what I used to think on some level - kids growing older doesn't mean they need us less. I find the older they get, the more I want to be in "ready position" for moments big and small - homework frustration, basketball practices, friendship challenges. A sometimes fascinating, som...

A musing inspired by a carpool conversation on dental procedures *and a client reflection that made me cry like a Pixar baby. Hypothesis / observation: Tears are like a treasure map to who you are and what we're here to do. What we care about. What brings us to life. It's helpful to consider that in real time when we're crying (or with / loving someone who is). The Qs for consideration: What are t...

Don't want to wait patiently for the rest of the series to drop? I got you. Sign up for the private podcast feed at onherterms.com to access all 11 eps on demand. 🍿 Related links and things: naptimeempires.com/listen onherterms.com/listen (you already are!) workwithnikki.com acourseaboutcopy.com/selfstudy acourseaboutcopy.com/workshops acourseaboutcopy.com/prep instagram.com/nikkielledgebrown 📮...

Don't want to wait patiently for the rest of the series to drop? I got you. Sign up for the private podcast feed at onherterms.com to access all 11 eps on demand. 🍿 Related links and things: Launched this pod in ‘22! Private feed: onherterms.com And shares in IG stories: https://www.instagram.com/stories/highlights/17906546453549556/ More book process details in Naptime Empires Season 4: https://...

Don't want to wait patiently for the rest of the series to drop? I got you. Sign up for the private podcast feed at onherterms.com to access all 11 eps on demand. 🍿 Related links and things: Serving #onherterms mode private clients through the magic of Zoom and Voxer: https://www.instagram.com/stories/highlights/17918948350989605/ That fun two-fam (drivable) RV trip I mentioned: https://www.insta...

Don't want to wait patiently for the rest of the series to drop? I got you. Sign up for the private podcast feed at onherterms.com to access all 11 eps on demand. 🍿 Related links and things: Drafted a book, birthed a baby! #3 announcement post: https://www.instagram.com/p/CAqTZJWHwBK/ Book doodles on IG stories: https://www.instagram.com/stories/highlights/17897967994610000/ Birth story on IG sto...

Don't want to wait patiently for the rest of the series to drop? I got you.  Sign up for the private podcast feed at onherterms.com to access all 11 eps on demand. 🍿 Related links and things: Planting seeds and tending to what needed tending do. 18-19 travels and speaking via IG stories: https://www.instagram.com/stories/highlights/18043460224046391/ onherterms.com enters the chat Divine bre...

Don't want to wait patiently for the rest of the series to drop? I got you. Sign up for the private podcast feed at onherterms.com to access all 11 eps on demand. 🍿 Related links and things: Hawaii trip IG stories: https://www.instagram.com/stories/highlights/17972805886130023/ Oahu adventures: https://www.instagram.com/stories/highlights/17999887015058858/ Alaska trip IG stories: https://www.ins...