On Attachment

In today's episode, we’re exploring the key signs that you’re moving from anxious attachment toward greater security. While every healing journey is unique, certain themes consistently emerge as markers of growth. If you're working on healing your anxious attachment style, this episode will help you recognise the shifts happening within you. What We Cover: How healing is not linear and w...

For our first episode of 2025, we're exploring the journey of creating a life that feels deeply authentic and aligned with who you truly are. Moving beyond societal expectations and the hamster wheel of constant striving, this episode challenges you to embrace courage, honesty, and personal responsibility to make meaningful changes in your life. Key topics covered: Why honesty with yourself i...

In this Q&A episode, I’m answering your most common questions about early dating—particularly through the lens of anxious attachment. If dating feels like a minefield of overthinking, anxiety, and emotional highs and lows, this episode is for you. We’ll explore: Early dating dynamics: Navigating the vulnerability and uncertainty that comes with getting to know someone new. Not attaching too qu...

In today's episode, we’re diving deep into self-sabotage—those frustrating patterns where we seem to work against our own best interests. Whether it’s procrastination, pushing people away, or avoiding opportunities, self-sabotage can feel like an endless cycle.  We cover: What self-sabotage really is : Understanding how it’s often a misguided attempt to keep us safe. Why we get stuck : Explor...

In this episode of On Attachment , we’re diving into how to support an avoidant partner in opening up emotionally. If you’ve ever felt frustrated by your partner’s emotional distance or found yourself unsure how to help them feel safe in the relationship, this episode is for you. Highlighted Links Free Break-Up Training: The 3 Shifts That Help Anxiously Attached People Heal After a Break-up Free T...

In today's episode, we're talking about the delicate balance between compassion for others, and boundaries for ourselves. For those of us who tend towards empathy and curiosity towards others' inner worlds, it's easy to fixate on the "why" behind their behaviours (particularly behaviours we don't like or understand). And while that is an admirable trait, without...

In today's episode, we’re diving into what avoidant partner deactivation looks like and how you can respond to this experience in a way that protects your emotional wellbeing and prevents further spiralling and disconnection.  We’ll explore the subtle ways avoidant partners create distance—whether emotionally, physically, or in their communication—and how these behaviours stem from their atta...

In today's episode, we're talking all about validation — and specifically, why it is so essential for anxiously attached people in building more security within themselves and in their relationships.  Most anxiously attached people are accustomed to feeling chronically invalidated (in part because they tend to do this to themselves), always wondering if they are too much, too needy, too...

In today's episode, we're talking all about the abandonment wound — and specifically, five scenarios that might unexpectedly trigger your fears and insecurities around abandonment. When we think about the fear of abandonment, we often imagine scenarios where someone physically leaves us—maybe a breakup or a loved one walking out the door. But the truth is, this fear can manifest in much...

In this episode, we dive into the growing issue of phone usage and its impact on relationship satisfaction, especially when one partner feels neglected, ignored and frustrated by the other's screen time. We explore why constant phone use can feel so personal, discuss strategies for approaching the topic constructively, and offer practical ways to set digital boundaries together. If you’re str...

In this episode, we're exploring the common and very human experience of hoping an ex will come back after a break-up, saying they've changed their mind and want to reconcile. Whether you were left unexpectedly or the break-up was a long time coming, the hope that an ex will realise their mistake and come back can be powerful and all-consuming. I'll share some mindset reframes and t...

In this episode, we’re diving into how fearful avoidant attachment (also known as disorganised attachment) plays out in relationships. If you identify with this attachment style, you might notice certain patterns in your relationships that feel confusing or contradictory. Key points include: Feelings of instability in relationships: Many with fearful avoidant attachment feel fine when single, but...

In today’s episode, we’re talking about how to navigate emotional triggers in a healthy and constructive way. Whether it’s a comment, an argument, or even an unexpected event, triggers can send us into emotional overdrive, leaving us feeling overwhelmed and disconnected from ourselves. But with the right tools, you can slow down the spiral and regain control over your emotions. I’ll guide you thro...

How do you know if you're ready for a relationship? Perhaps you've asked yourself this question — and in today's episode, that's what we're exploring. While I don't believe we ever reach some objective place of being "healed enough" to enter a relationship, I do believe there are certain indicators we can look out for — signs that we're in a strong plac...

In this episode, we’re tackling the challenging topic of obsessive thinking about someone and how to break free from that mental loop that causes suffering. We’ll explore different approaches, including Byron Katie’s The Work as a top-down method for challenging your thoughts, somatic tools to discharge anxiety from the body as a bottom-up approach, as well as the broader work of addressing the in...

In this episode, we’re exploring three key things you’ll likely notice when you experience your first truly healthy relationship. While healthy relationships are often idealised, they still come with their own challenges.  We’ll discuss how they invite vulnerability, reveal where we may have been hiding behind dysfunction, and show us that even secure partners can be imperfect. Finally, we’ll talk...

In this episode, we’re diving into the how anxious and avoidant attachment styles can influence sexual relationships. Understanding these differences can be crucial for navigating intimacy in your relationship, whether you identify with one of these attachment styles or are in a relationship with someone who does.  We’ll cover five key differences in how anxious and avoidant attachment styles expe...

In today's episode, we're diving into fearful avoidant (AKA disorganised) attachment and how it differs from anxious attachment.  We’ll explore how both types are driven by a fear of abandonment and intense emotions, yet differ in their approaches to intimacy, conflict resolution, and communication.  Whether you identify with one of these attachment styles or are in a relationship with s...

In today's episode, we’re exploring the common patterns and beliefs that lead people into situationships — those ambiguous, frustrating "almost-relationships" that never quite become something more.  If you’ve ever found yourself stuck in a situationship and wondered why it keeps happening, this episode is for you. We'll dive into four key reasons why you might be attracting th...

This week, we're talking all about how avoidant attached people can experience conflict in a healthier, more productive way. I'll be sharing three tips that will allow you to feel more connected, grounded and in control in the way you approach conflict in your relationship.  Highlighted Links Free Break-Up Training: The 3 Shifts That Help Anxiously Attached People Heal After a Break-up F...

In today's episode, I'm sharing three tips for anxiously attached people to improve the way they approach and experience conflict. We cover things like slowing down and saying less, keeping things to one issue, and knowing when to leave the conversation and let things go.  Be sure to tune in next week for Part 2 where we cover tips for avoidantly attached people in conflict! Highlighted...

In today's episode, I'm sharing with you some wisdom from three of my favourite writers and teachers on life, love and relationships. These quotes, from authors James Clear, Elizabeth Gilbert, and Brene Brown, have been hugely formative for me in my own journey and I hope you love them as much as I do.  Highlighted Links Free Break-Up Training: The 3 Shifts That Help Anxiously Attached P...

In today's episode, we're talking about boundaries. Boundary setting is one of those areas that we hear about so much in the personal development world, and yet bridging the gap between theory and practice remains a challenge for most of the folks that I work with (particularly those with an anxious attachment style).  We'll cover: why boundary setting is so hard for people with ins...

In today's episode, I'm sharing three life lessons that I wish I'd learned sooner. These are around the theme of self-awareness, personal responsibility and consciously creating the life that we want for ourselves. Last chance to join The Secure Self Challenge ! Highlighted Links Free Break-Up Training: The 3 Shifts That Help Anxiously Attached People Heal After a Break-up Free Trai...

In today's episode, we're tackling the pervasive issue of resentment in relationships. We explore why resentment occurs, its impact on relationships, and how to address and resolve these feelings.  We cover: what resentment signals to us about ourselves why certain people are more prone to resentment the link between resentment and poor boundaries, suppression of needs and avoiding confl...