Omnibus

In which we learn how a historical delicacy of Croatia got bastardized into a staple of American cocktails and sundaes, and John is upset when his third grade teacher pays him in ice cream instead of cash. Certificate #28197.

In which we trace script handwriting from ancient Egypt all the way up to the modern culture wars, and John and Ken argue over the ugliest cursive capital letter: is it J or Q? Certificate #32892.

In which the messy orange-eating of a runaway heiress creates a colorful new summer look for American women, and Ken goes way too far with his Kennedy assassination theories. Certificate #12306.

In which America's two greatest dinosaur hunters ruin their lives in an unhinged battle of spite and revenge, which John finds extremely romantic. Certificate #24269.

In which two of the greatest rock guitarists of all time pine after the same woman, each marry her in turn, and somehow stay friends. Certificate #42401.

In which we remember the 1950s charity drive to raise reindeer funds for a tribe of Scandinavian telepaths--a problem they really should have seen coming. Certificate #37239.

In which a re-designed school binder becomes a mandatory school accessory and one of the great marketing successes of the 1980s, and Ken spends hours looking at erasers shaped like sushi. Certificate #31310.

In which an Esperanto-loving stage mom raises America's first celebrity child prodigy, who writes one of history's most famous poems before vanishing into a cloud of bigamy and scandal. Certificate #35551.

In which John visits one of the most underwhelming (and breakable) landmarks in American history, and explains why its entire history is almost certainly made up. Certificate #33004.

In which America discovers Tex-Mex food at Disneyland, leading to the invention of Doritos and "extreme" snack foods, and Ken has clam chowder in his car. Certificate #42729.

In which we follow an army of exiled Polish soldiers from Siberia to Iran to Scotland, and learn why they taught a Syrian brown bear to carry ammo and eat cigarettes. Certificate #41871.

In which we learn about palming doorknobs, spotting bunco artists and fornicators, and other old tricks of the "hotel dick" trade, and John steals some room service pizza. Certificate #51720.

In which a series of underqualified officers and vague, sweeping gestures lead to a terrible military debacle, a good sweater, and a catchy poem, and Ken expresses some skepticism about Captain von Trapp. Certificate #38694.

In which the freethinkers of the Enlightenment take a stab at designing a 100% secular timekeeping system from the ground up, and John wants to be called "Goldenrod." Certificate #44270.

In which we go through the weird list of things glimpsed by noted paranormal researcher Jimmy Carter, including a hissing marsh rabbit and a UFO that the Air Force wants you to think is barium. Certificate #21432.

In which one of the most beloved sitcom stars in America tries out the worst comedy idea of all time, and John has a theory about anti-Semitism in the Aliens movies. Certificate #22400.

In which we explain the squeaky-clean tawdriness of casual dining chains that put all the servers in tank tops, and Ken wonders if you can eat hot wings ironically. Certificate #37739.

In which a chronically ill British woman decides that God wants her to kill a fascist dictator, and Ken and John argue over whether or not an assassination plot needs a chalkboard. Certificate #16114.

In which, after centuries of stagnation, the sport of skiing is revolutionized in a matter of three years, and John is forced to sign a hand-written waiver. Certificate #34056.

In which the rivers of Colombia teem with African hippos due to the excesses of a long-dead drug lord, and Ken suggests introducing Welsh corgis to the Amazon rainforest. Certificate #37768.

In which an MIT fraternity prank creates a new unit of measurement and annoys Boston police, and John wins a million dollars on an imaginary quiz show about Maine. Certificate #50326.

In which a Dutch painter creates surreal hellscapes so mysterious and full of butts that no one knows what he was even thinking, and Ken explains why bagpipes are very, very erotic. Certificate #17086.

In which a funding impasse and clever fast food franchises put a one-of-a-kind stoplight right in the middle of a Pennsylvania interstate, and Ken misremembers who built the Lincoln Highway. Certificate #31424.

In which Sir Isaac Newton adds an extra color to the rainbow to make his mystical, musical math come out right, and John has strong feelings about Satan's marital status. Certificate #26015.

In which John goes to the Caribbean, learns how cruise ships crack 20,000 eggs in a week, and begins to comparison-shop the amazing Rube Goldberg inventions involved. Certificate #27021.