Not Your Therapist

Robbie wants a relationship but always drops the ball. We  have it from the horse’s mouth, sometimes it really is them!!! Them being scared, passive, socially awkward, or simply not knowing how or if to keep things going. So throw a bone,  hand them back the ball, and assume the best. Everyone gets one more chance. Well, most people, if they’re as nice as Robbie. Listen up! Follow Not Your Therapi...

"Layla" has always been the backup girl: the one who gets the guy ready for his future gf but is never the gf. We talk about why and how we do this, what love is and what it isn’t, and how, to not fall back into old patterns and sabotage yourself. Fun fact: the guy “Layla” is currently seeing is not her physical type in some very key ways, but that shouldn't matter, right? Let's talk about it.   F...

Creative coach Brian Patacca (@briansaysthat) is extremely hot AND extremely smart and funny and full of good advice. We talked about recovery from ghosting, having fun for REAL on dates, masculine and feminine energies, and how long to wait before giving up the “kitty” (which doesn’t mean what you think it does). Brian is an amazing golden god of human positivity. Listen up!   Follow Not Your The...

Our anonymous guest got involved with someone at work and from there it got messy. Not so much due to circumstances but because of his not great behavior and her not great putting up with it. We’ve all been there. And the first steps to recovery are forgiving yourself, accepting your lessons as a rite of passage, and doing your best to go cold turkey. On top of that, get angry! Anger is active and...

We talked to a personal trainer about fitness and dating! Turns out working out and making out are very closely related, and not for the reason you think. Get tips on how to build your confidence when dating, make it a regular lifestyle choice, and motivate to get off the couch and do it. Also, diversify your interests and meet someone who brings something new and different to the table rather tha...

Writer and storyteller Sian Mason is newly sober and navigating dating without substances. We dig into how to enjoy it, how to make out without it just being a bunch of saliva, and how to accept when someone nice likes you for you, which can be the hardest task of all. Don’t hide your “flaws”, celebrate them and share them from day one and you’ll be doing your date a giant favor. Someone has to ta...

We talk with financial coach Dylan Snowden about money and dating, money and love, money and relationships, money and money. It’s not always an easy conversation but it’s as necessary as talking about sex, whether you’re working on being in a couple or simply working on yourself. There’s no denying the importance of money in the love/relationship world, and you don’t have to be rich to comfortable...

Jaimie needs to do it a little bit wrong. Pretend you forgot what’s “right” or “wrong” to do in dating (including how to ask someone out, what "appropriate" age differences are, etc.). Say what you’re thinking, ask someone out at Starbucks who is totally unsuspecting, and date who you want. Strip your “knowledge” away because sometimes it’s only keeping you from a really really good time. You’ll t...

Highly recommend this rant for any time you feel like you can't keep doing it. Apply the same hustle and rigor and positivity and discipline to dating that you do to everything else in your life that you want. Get out there, attack on all fronts, stick with it, let rejection be fuel rather than destruction. If you think your heart can't take it, it CAN. It just needs to get stronger, and that happ...

Kacie gave up men for Lent and wrote a book about it! And talked about it with us. How long it took her to figure out what she REALLY wanted, the many ups and downs of her journey, and what the heck you do when you’re not obsessively trying to date everyone. Bonus: how to make social media take you OUT of your head rather than in. Listen up!   Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram! @notyo...

Amazing and hilarious comedian Jenny Zigrino wants a partner but doesn’t necessarily want to go through the process of getting one. We talk about fatphobia, dating app facial fatigue, and all of the other hurdles that you can willingly jump over when you’re ready for both the good and the bad that comes with the dating journey. No one can make it happen or decide you deserve it but you. Listen up....

My personal guru and non-therapist, Rachel Axelrod, lets us in on the ultimate meet-cute, how to love yourself and all your perfect imperfections, and how to prioritize your very REAL orgasm. We want you to be you and love every weird, quirky, embarrassing details that comes (cums) with it. And bonus: what do when someone likes you who is “not in your league” (hint- wtf is a league. Be happy they...

Ryan’s a sweetheart, if a little misguided in his search for his “partner in crime” (we’d like to abolish that phrase). First, he needs to listen. Second, he needs to stop feeling bad about his totally normal job situation and know that one of the great benefits of having a partner is they support you in your journey to becoming the person you want to be. You don’t have to already be perfect to de...

Gilly is an openminded, if a bit shy, woman in Minnesota who took some time away from dating and is now READY to get back in it….BUT she’s a little too nice about it. (Minnesota, anyone). Listen and learn about making everything less precious, owning your awesomeness, picking up people like a boss, and adopting some assh*le swagger to get to the part where you can be super nice again. Also, the im...

Transgender standup comic Jeena Bloom was kind enough to join us and talk about her brand new LA dating adventures. We talk hookups, the importance of aftercare, which apps are for what, and how to ask the right questions. Bonus: the alternative to finding red flags.    And don’t forget to go to All My Single Friends this week! The v best way to meet people IRL. Listen up for details or, you know,...

Michael is a soon to be ex-yogi who is shocked to finally find himself in a happy healthy relationship. What’s there to learn from that, you say? Don’t worry, there’s plenty, for both the single and the coupled alike. Learn how not to freak out when things are good, how to enjoy yourself one day at a time, and how to only pick fights when it’s truly worth it. Hint: A snack and a nap do wonders for...

Gabi Conti is a sex columnist and author of the upcoming book “20 Guys You Date in Your 20s”. We talk about how all this research has made her the ideal dater (and what she still has to learn), conducting social experiments for the sake of your love life, and why NOT to follow each other on Instagram. Bonus: what age “should” you be dating?     Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram! @noty...

Freshly ghosted (and gorgeous) comedian and writer Leah Knauer opens up about why she hates dating, and we try to figure out how to make it more bearable. Discover the importance of eliminating the word relationship, allowing yourself a juicy sad, not taking ghosting so personally (but please everyone GROW UP AND STOP DOING IT) and finding a way to get back out there and have fun with it once agai...

I'm on vacation in Italy with my man eating pasta and pizza so here is a little tidbit to hold you over until I get back. :)   Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram! @notyourtherapistpodcast   Send your questions to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com   Thanks for listening! 

Adrian’s girlfriend cheated on her. Adrian still wanted to try. Which part is her responsibility and which part isn’t? How much trying is too much trying? When do you walk away? We’re in the thick of it. Bonus: what to wear or not wear on first dates.   Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram! @notyourtherapistpodcast   Send your questions to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com   Thanks for l...

Steve is a straight white man. I know! I can’t believe we’re sitting down with him either! But it does happen from time to time, and can be an interesting perspective. Especially when that SWM seeks out everything BUT the safe and simple. Is there a way to enjoy the adventure but still find real connection? And what is solo poly? Let’s discuss. Bonus: short guys- how to deal.   Follow Not Your The...

If you find yourself going for “unavailable” people, or fighting to win when you’re surrounded by red flags, what is it you’re really hoping to get? Actor/Writer Alex Henrikson opens up about doing too much, fighting too hard, and the struggle to make herself wait to be fought FOR. Bonus Question: how long is too long between dates?   Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram! @notyourtherapi...

To sex or not to sex? To app or not to app? What about Seeking Arrangement? We work it all out with hilarious adorable Kayla who doesn’t have any dating experience but wants to learn and GET SOME. Also, paid apps? Worth it or no? Listen up.   Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram! @notyourtherapistpodcast   Send your questions to notyourtherapistpodcast@gmail.com   Thanks for listening! 

Spoiler: you’re not. Or if you are, it shouldn’t be coming up on first dates if you actually want the deep connection you’re looking for. We talk heart stomping, coming out, and finding the yin to your yang with the beautiful lengthy Tyler. With bonus question: how do I get him to do what I want on the second date!?! Listen up.

Learn how to get back out there after an ego-crushing relationship with comedian Kyle June Williams (who is currently on tour with her BFF Jonathan Van Ness). Learn how to do it with a sense of humor and a strategy, along with specific how-tos for online dating for all. Online dating does NOT have to suck. It can actually be fun. Listen up.   Follow Not Your Therapist Podcast on Instagram! @notyou...