Not Just a Hashtag

In this second episode of our three-part series, the team covers lie number two from the book Search For Significance . This lie tells us that I must have the approval of certain people to feel good about myself. This is the lie of the approval addict, which results in fear of rejection. Many survivors find themselves in the trap of - I must be approved by others to be loved, have worth, and find...

In this first episode of our three-part series, the team covers lie number one from the book Search For Significance . This lie tells us that I must meet specific standards to feel good about myself. This is the lie of perfectionism or the lie that I must perform to be considered worthy.  Many survivors find themselves in the trap of - I must perform a certain way to be loved, have worth, and...

This month we are starting a four-part series based on the book Search for Significance , which Robert McGhee wrote.  Self-worth is vital, but it's where we find our worth that is the most important. The world will try to tell us where our identity comes from. Most people find self-worth in the outward thing or what they have achieved. But what happens when we fail? Do we still have self-wort...

In this episode, mental health counselor, Kristan Torres, explains the importance of understanding your story - where you've come from, what you've been through, and what you're going through now. We need to understand and wrestle through our stories to find true freedom. We can know our story factually, such as seeing that we've been through sexual abuse. But understanding it and working through...

In episodes 41 - 43, we talked about the lies that survivors believe about themselves and the abuse they experienced that prevents them from healing. In this episode, we get the perspective of our male facilitator, Justin Young, as he shares from the second recording from our men's study called Renew on how these lies have affected his life and journey from healing. Justin's story is highly relata...

This month we are wrapping up our three-part series on intimacy. In this last episode, the team looks at three critical barriers to intimacy - compulsive behaviors, need suppression, and unforgiveness. We often use these barriers to readjust or suppress our intimacy needs. Some people run out of ways to fulfill their needs, so they try to make themselves believe that they can live without intimacy...

This month we are continuing with our three-part series on intimacy. In this second episode, the team looks at how a critical spirit or judgmental attitude can affect physical, emotional, and spiritual intimacy. We also talk about three different reasons people avoid intimacy and how those become barriers to genuine closeness with others.  Intimacy involves being open and talking through your...

This month we are starting a three-part series on intimacy and how sexual abuse can affect physical, emotional, and spiritual closeness. This episode will build the framework for the rest of the episodes by looking at what intimacy is and not. We will examine some feelings and related behaviors resulting from a lack of intimacy. Survivors often isolate themselves because their need for intimacy is...

In this episode, the team looks at what sexual abuse is, the importance of terminology, and helping survivors understand its effect on their lives. When it comes to sexual abuse, terminology is fundamental for in healing process. However, if you have never been taught correct terminology, you can wrongly classify your abuse. The hard truth is that you cannot identify what you do not understand. If...

As we kick off a new season and year, we wanted to start 2022 with an episode about why a survivor should heal from sexual abuse. In this episode, Nicole Escobar shares her story of abuse and why she is so passionate about the work that Trees of Hope is doing. In this episode, we also share with you the first recording of our new men's study called Renew, that features our dear friend, Justin Youn...

Over the past few months, we have been talking about the false beliefs that victims believe about themselves or the abuse they went through. As a recap, the false beliefs are: It's my fault. I must have been a terrible person for them to do this to me. I wanted them to do this to me. It didn't happen! I must have made it up. Last month we talked about having low self-esteem, which is one of the co...

In this episode, Stevie and Nicole cover why a survivor should not reduce or downplay their abuse and the consequences of believing the lie that somehow the abuse was your fault.  Survivors often minimize their sexual abuse. This can be because the person who abused you made you believe that the situation was harmless. But it is so important that despite the messages you heard or the lies you...

Sexual abuse almost always leaves victims with a damaging set of false beliefs about their value and worth. Held as absolute truths, these false ideas create mistaken guilt, destroy self-esteem, and assign undeserved responsibility for what has happened to those who have already suffered devastating emotional and physical trauma. Christians, who are survivors, often struggle with the contrast betw...

In this episode of Not Just a Hashtag, we have a short clip from Kristan Torres, our mental health counselor, on the topic of how to find peace when you are overwhelmed with anxiety. The reality is that anxiety is real and common. We all face anxiety. For some people anxiety is a nuisance, for others, it causes distress, while for others it can be debilitating. But what does the Bible have to say...

In this episode, we have special guest, Stevie Estler, founder of Built by Stevie join us. Stevie is a South Florida native and now lives in Nashville where she runs her all-female run carpentry business. Stevie tells her story of sexual abuse, healing, and how her journey has created a passion in herself to see other people set free. She details the hurdles she struggled with, how she overcame en...

In this episode, Mental Health Counselor of Hope Christian Counseling, Kristan Torres, and the Director of Trees of Hope, Nicole Escobar, talk about how to let go of feelings of shame and guilt associated with being sexually abused. Shame is a natural response to feeling uncovered or exposed. During the abuse, your body was probably uncovered, but there was also the uncovering of your mind. Your s...

Victims of sexual abuse experience severe violations of personal boundaries. Consequently, anger and anger management problems are common for survivors. We often fear anger or try to avoid it because of its perceived destructive effects, but it is possible to be angry about the effects that sexual abuse has had on your life and not let that anger control your life. In this episode, Mental Health C...

Everyone has an inner child but not everyone associates childhood with fun and playfulness. If you experienced sexual abuse as a child, your inner child might seem small, vulnerable, and in need of protection. You may have buried the pain of your abuse through avoidance or allowed it to surface through anger. You may have done this to protect yourself — both your present self and the child you onc...

In this two-part series of "Not Just a Hashtag," Nicole Escobar and mental health counselor, Kristan Torres look at the stages of healing from sexual abuse such as the emergency stage, the remembering stage, the decision to heal stage, the believing it happened stage, and breaking the silence stage. The importance of knowing the effects that sexual abuse has had on a survivor’s life is a key step...

Are you ready to heal from sexual abuse but don’t know where to start? Does change seem scary to you? If you are ready to begin the healing journey, what are some barriers that could prevent you from healing? In this episode of "Not Just a Hashtag," Nicole Escobar and mental health counselor, Kristan Torres look at elements of change, the stages of change, and ways to work through each stage so yo...

In this episode of “Not just a Hashtag,” Nicole Escobar and mental health counselor, Kristan Torres connect hope and healing from sexual abuse into everyday life. Have you been sexually abused and want to know what healing looks like? Do you need a release from the inappropriate shame or freedom from feeling unworthy? In this episode, we will look at the importance of walking through healing from...

Sexual harassment and sexual assault are happening in our schools. It begins in elementary schools and occurs with alarming frequency in middle and high schools. Both girls and boys are victimized. What’s even worse is schools often believe they can protect themselves against legal action and bad press by simply denying or ignoring sexual abuse. In this episode, Nicole and Holly take a look at the...

In episode, host Nicole Escobar is joined by Victims Advocate, Holly, from Victim Services in Palm Beach. Together they take an honest look at the newly released Netflix movie, Cuties. Besides the apparent over-sexualization of young girls, the team looks at how this movie can be used as a tool to teach parents on how to prevent sexual abuse! Boundaries are a vital part of teaching the younger gen...

Our thoughts are powerful! Most of us know this. But many times, we continue with the same thinking patterns even though they get us frustrated, discouraged and sometimes feeling stuck. Join Nicole Escobar and mental health counselor, Kristan Torres, as we show you some dysfunctional patterns of thinking and then some ways to combat or change these patterns so you can get unstuck, and start thinki...

In this episode, the team looks at the eye-opening statistic that 66% of sexual abuse cases go completely unreported. Often, the victim fears the perpetrator, or they are embarrassed and ashamed and believe the lie that what happened was their fault. In addition, many victims do not view their abuse as a crime and fear that law enforcement will not do anything to help them. Many survivors rep...