Not By Chance Podcast

Do you ever feel trapped in the cycle of "good cop, bad cop" with your partner when it comes to parenting? Have you wondered how the echoes of your own upbringing have shaped the way you parent? Tag along with us as we navigate these intricate dynamics. In the authenticity of sharing my personal journey as a newlywed, you'll find an enlightening take on how I broke a destructive cyc...

The trends around parenting swing like a pendulum from authoritarian to permissive. Instinctively we know either extremes isn't ideal, but we may not know the literature around it. Studies show that authoritative parenting produces the healthiest outcomes in teens. Authoritative can be found in between the two extremes but leaning more towards authority than permissive.  We all yearn for a ha...

Hilary Weeks, a top 10 Christian Billboard singer, connects with her audience by unlocking and expressing the feelings of the heart through music. Her song "Keep Going" addresses depression and has helped thousands of people individually. This interview with Hilary will make you ask how you can use music in your family’s dynamic so that it harbors safety, healing, and connection. Keep Go...

Eric Turner shares stories from his life that lead him to work at Trustyy. Coming from a family that often lived paycheck to paycheck, he joined the Marines right after high school. He got to visit home after boot camp. September 11th, 2001, he was sitting on a plane ready for takeoff when he heard about the attack on the world trade center. Eric served several tours and learned a lot about leader...

Michel Benyo is a grief coach. She specializes in helping Children deal with loss in their life. Having children of her own and losing one put her through a heart wrenching journey. While grieving, she learned how to help her daughter with her grief. As you listen to Michelle's stories and practical advice, you will feel better equipped to help those in your life deal with their grief. So man...

Sherry Fernandez was a hippy turned business woman. With insane drive and 

Dianne Kosto is a mother and CEO of Symmetry Neuro-Pathway Training. Dianne had a son who was kicked out of military school and almost kicked out of a treatment program for teen boys. She fears what could've happened if she hadn't found Neurofeedback. Neurofeedback is a non-invasive alternative to medication. It is painless, drugless, free of harmful side effects, and produces noticeable...

Dr. Thayne interviews his wife, Roxanne, on the power of storytelling. You must be as entertaining and compelling as your competitor (social media) to influence your teen. Become a master storyteller to encourage your teen to take action, adopt value, and come closer as a family. After this episode, you will ask yourself what stories you have that would impact your teen.  Challenge: Find a story i...

Dr. Thayne speaks about the role of fear when we are trying to be our teen's number one influencer. Fear is natural and can be healthy in doses, but when it isn't handled right, it can spiral out of control and have a domino effect on the family. Tim explains that you have to recognize the fear first. Then you can address it by talking yourself down from expecting the worst and taking ac...

Listening is one of the most influential things you could do.  We might think that listening is too passive to possibly have an influence. Most of the time, however,  no one cares to be swayed by someone they feel doesn't understand them. Dr. Tim Thayne gives some practical tips on how to listen to your teen. Some of them include going into the conversation being willing to have your mind cha...

 Along with being a deliberate example, parents need to be aware of the values you are modeling.  Today’s episode explores some virtues that seem to be less common in today’s self-centered and fast paced world.  We also discuss how to create moral literacy with stories.

Would you allow a stranger to sit on your teen's bed and talk to them for hours a day? Never. Yet this is what's happening and this is how you can put yourself back in the number one influencer position with your teen, through your deliberate, though not perfect, example.

What if you could read your teen's thoughts about themselves?  Would their story of their worth match yours about them?  Dr. Thayne talks about how the stories we choose to tell ourselves can lead to vastly different outcomes, ranging from destructive to a springboard for success. 0:00 Intro 1:28 Self Esteem Stat 4:58 Student Body President 9:04 Daughter Wants To Drop Out 14:07 App Announceme...

Dr. Thayne takes this opportunity to share with Casi Fariello of OPLM why he felt it was time to turn his attention to the needs of families after their teen's out-of-home treatment programs.  He shares his journey from an owner and therapist in a wilderness treatment program, to working where the "rubber meets the road" of therapeutic treatment . . . in the home.

"As we get stronger, our family gets stronger."  In today's episode, Dr. Thayne introduces listeners to Casie Fariello, the CEO of "Other Parents Like Me," a virtual membership platform that went live in January of 2022. Casie retired from United Airlines after 26 years in December of 2022 to follow her passion to co-found the program after creating parent support groups a...

In this episode Dr. Thayne and Roxanne Thayne discuss the latest in the collection of Not by Chance Yearbooks .  The purpose of the book is to share stories, quotes, photographs and writing prompts that encourage readers in intentional family living.   This issue is focused on the theme of home: coming home, strengthening the home, rebuilding the home, and memories of home. Listen in as the Thayne...

Today Dr. Thayne discusses the importance of healthy boundaries and how to teach others to respect them in your home and family.   Using the example of his Olde English Bulldogge puppy (Churchill), he explains how the trainer's consistency and an appropriate level of consequence are key for success in the long run.  Hmmm, sounds an awful lot like what we teach in the Not by Chance book! Faceb...

Dr Tim Thayne interviews Dr. Timothy Smith, a psychologist and professor of counseling psychology at Brigham Young University. As social beings, we are wired for connectivity. Dr. Smith and Dr. Thayne discuss research-based solutions for parents to deepen connections and change unhealthy patterns inside the family. Learn universal principles that can help you achieve a balance between connection a...

In Psychologist Jordan Peterson's bestselling book, “12 Rules for Life” one rule is, “Don’t bother children when they are skateboarding.” In this episode Dr. Tim Thayne talks about the importance of introducing risk in children's play. There are numerous benefits for children when they aren’t put in bubble wrap, but allowed to grow physically and mentally healthier, more confident and be...

While it naturally feels good to help someone, it isn’t the most natural thing to remember to serve when we are in the midst of a struggle. So how do we teach our children to be on the lookout for service opportunities? Dr. Thayne shares a story about a mother who felt the thrill of serving a fellow mom in distress. After listening to this woman and then sharing her own experiences, they walked aw...

The number one concern of our time for parents is the excessive and damaging tech use or screen time or social media that their kids are experiencing.  While there are great educational options available, the toxic and dark side of the internet is a real issue.  Dr. Thayne helps parents learn to talk about, manage, and prepare their teens to be safe and competent online.

Dr. Tim Thayne talks about a families values and how recently they haven't been emphasized. Children need to be taught what to value by their parents, the ones that love them the most. However, if they don't teach them, then the internet will. Dr. Thayne encourages parents to sit down with each other and discuss what they value and how they can live and teach it better to their children....

Join Dr. Thayne as he introduces listeners to the two editors and brains behind the beautiful and inspirational Not by Chance Yearbooks.  They share the reason they chose the theme of "Preserve" for the third issue, and the stories of the traditions, memories, and relationships that are worth our efforts to preserve.

Dr. Tim Thayne talks about the paradox of finding happiness. He shares his insights about how happiness is found when you quit looking for it and instead you start giving it to others. His story of a humble bishop serving a family in need will inspire you to look at the people in your own life and find ways to help them.