Not About Lumberjacks

Femurs were wielded, and CEOs fell… After the apocalypse, a lowly office worker is alive and alone in headquarters…keeping an old way of life going in the hope that things will one day return to normal… Content Advisory: Death of a rabbit from blunt-force trauma. Violence (mention of a CEO bludgeoning someone with a cow femur). Suspense (the general creepiness of living in an emp...

“Taller than the Moon” is the first serious short story I ever wrote. It is roughly thirty years old. Some thoughts about those early writing days — and literary fiction in general. Episode Transcript >>

A trip home to visit his parents brings with it a flood of memories for Michael Stokowski. [Random side notes: I believe this is the first true short story I ever wrote. Also, it is the only story I can think of inspired by one of my dreams…] Content Advisory: A family deals with the fallout of a suicide. Mention of drug addiction following serving in the Vietnam War. Episode Transcript >...

Most stories you’ve listened to, here, are polished first drafts. Especially where short stories are concerned, I do not subscribe to the notion that the first draft of everything is shit . Some thoughts about that, and how it worked with the recent Christmas episode. * * * Episode Transcript >>

Last year’s holiday-ish 7-Stories episode , featuring a handful of micro-fiction, was well received. So this year, it’s another handful of stories: “The Crock,” narrated by Cynthia Griffith . A woman’s battles with her mother-in-law take an unexpected turn. “Greetings,” narrated by Patrick K. Walsh . An out-of-work special effects makeup artist gets a job...

Waking the Lumberjack is the first one-shot audiodrama I’ve done with multiple voice actors for Not About Lumberjacks. Anchoring the story is Tim Czarnecki, starring as the Narrator. I sat down with Tim and chatted about what it was like narrating this story… * * * Episode Transcript >>

In honor of another year of Not About Lumberjacks, it’s a wrasslin’ story I swear has nothing to do with lumberjacks! The funeral service of “Big Papa” Howe, the Ontario Lumberjack, does not go as planned. It’s up to his two sons, Big Mike and Little Mike, to put an old rivalry to rest. Content Advisory: Swearing. Cartoonish violence (professional wrestling). Death of...

Howdy, howdy, howdy. Christopher here with a random update. This is mostly being recorded and released in support of this episode of the ScreamQueenz Podcast . ScreamQueenz is a fun look at cheesy horror films, but in October it gets a bit more serious. Not the show, because the show is always light-hearted fun! But in October, show host Patrick Walsh does a pod-o-rama to raise funds for New Alter...

“Dear God” is not the first story I wrote featuring gods; in fact, it’s not the first story I’ve written for Not About Lumberjacks featuring gods. Gods are strange things to me. I’m a life-long atheist, but I love the storytelling opportunities gods of all kinds offer. Also, I might just talk about how the Marvel Thor movies influenced this episode…and how they...

A panhandler is given a magical postage stamp. Content Advisory: Swearing. Scam artists. Mention of parental death. Homelessness. Misogyny. * * * Credits: Music: Ergo Phizmiz and Chad Crouch Story and Narration: Christopher Gronlund Episode Transcript >>

If one desires, they can have a story end in so many different ways. Some stories just have a feel from the start for a certain kind of ending, but others are shaped by a writer’s environment — sometimes even being affected by other stories written around the time a particular story is done. That’s what I talk about with “A Race to the End.”

The 100-year-old son of the oldest man to ever live plots to kill a 123-year-old man about to break his father’s record. Content Advisory: Swearing and cartoonish violence. Stress of aging and mortality. A son trying to live up to his father’s expectations. Credits: Music: Ergo Phizmiz and Chad Crouch Story and Narration: Christopher Gronlund

The last episode was a bit of a departure, with seven bits of micro-fiction. The most fascinating thing was hearing which stories people loved most (“Vlad Stovepipe” won). So…for this episode of Behind the Cut, a bit about each of the stories…

A bit of a departure this holiday season: seven stories instead of one! (Think of it as micro-fiction stocking stuffers.) “Not About Lumberjacks” – As it says in the name, this story is not about lumberjacks! “Be a Man” – Sometimes kids grow up faster than they should. “Fucking Asshole” – It’s a story about a guy named Fucking Asshole. &#...

Something a little different this time… Because “The Hidebehind” was the first episode of Not About Lumberjacks with a male narrator other than me, I chat with Defender Radio’s Michael Howie about what it was like to work together on the story’s production. It’s a glorious tale of friendship, creativity…and majestic beards! (Also, you should totally follow...

Something lurks in the woods outside a lumber camp in this story I SWEAR is NOT about lumberjacks… Content Advisory: Swearing. Violence (involving fights and knives). Alcohol use. Mass poisoning. Horror (monster in the woods). Dementia brought on by environmental factors. Implied cannibalism. * * * Credits: Story: Christopher Gronlund Narration: Michael Howie, of the Defender Radio Podcast ....

There really is a Memorial Park where after-school fights took place when I was in junior high school. And I was involved in one myself; in fact, some reality creeped into “Memorial Park.” If you’re interested in what’s real and not in the story, look no further than this…

An after-school fight pits the meanest kid in Walt Whitman Junior High School against one of its shyest geeks. Content Advisory: Swearing. Bullying. Violence (bullying and an after-school fight). Humiliation. * * * Credits: Music: Ergo Phizmiz and Chad Crouch Story and Narration: Christopher Gronlund

I was never the punk that Bobby McGarvey or Stevie Saturn were in “Cubicle Punks,” but I do have something in common with them: I have always struggled with certain things that come with a “responsible” job. The pull between a day job that pays the bills and pursuing one’s dreams is a recurring theme in several of my stories. I talk about it on this episode of Behind...

Two aging punks come to grips with who they once were…and what they’ve become today. Content Advisory: Swearing. Drug and alcohol use. A small fight. Mention of violence (a large, back-alley fight). Midlife crisis. Dissatisfaction with work and life. * * * Credits: Music: Ergo Phizmiz and Punk Rock Opera Story and Narration: Christopher Gronlund

As I close in on having a readable draft of the current novel-in-progress, I’m changing the schedule for Not about Lumberjacks until I am done with the book. Until I’m ready to return to a monthly schedule, stories will be released every-other month. I hope you understand…

All but three little things are true in “Bobo.” Find out what those things are, why I quit clowning, and…how I measure success today.

A kid’s party clown comes to grips with what he’s become. Content Advisory: Swearing. Mention of alcohol use. Bullying. Mention of attending a strip club. Childhood trauma brought on by a clown. * * * Credits: Music: Ergo Phizmiz and Chad Crouch Story and Narration: Christopher Gronlund The “Fuck You, Clown!” Drive-By Duo: Zane and Tim Czarnecki . (Because nothing says fath...

“El Concusso” is one of the few things I’ve written directly for somebody. Here’s the story behind the story…

A professional wrestler can’t remember who he is after hitting his head against the ringpost during a match in Mexico City. Content Advisory: Cartoonish violence (professional wrestling) and a car accident resulting in hospitalization. * * * Credits: Music: Ergo Phizmiz and Chad Crouch Story and Narration: Christopher Gronlund