No Hair, All Heart

In this deep-space detour from the grit and satire of earlier chapters, Mookie Spitz reads from the first section of Episode 3: The Band, as the narrative swerves into philosophical "hard" science fiction—and doesn’t look back.  Enter Kreo Bonzai: an arachnid genius scientist and misanthropic slacker who built “the Jar,” a 10-meter cylinder powered by the pulse of a magnetar and capable...

Mookie Spitz reads the final section of Episode 2: The Bet from Jonnie Fazoolie & the Transfinite Reality Engine , and things are looking up for a change. Pressured, broke, and surrounded by bad decisions, Jonnie makes a rare, dangerous choice: he’s going all-in on his bet with the sexy German dominatrix scientist. Half-scam, half-breakthrough, and fully his last shot. But for the first time i...

Jonnie has crashed, landing rock bottom. Waking up poolside with no memory of the science demo that knocked him out—and possibly changed everything—Johnny is broke, alone, and unraveling fast. His startup scam LLC has flatlined. His love life’s a smoldering wreck. And now his mind’s starting to go, too. His brief, electric connection with Basine Felderhossen—scientist, dominatrix, and the only per...

In this chaotic entry from Jonnie Fazoolie & the Transfinite Reality Engine , Jonnie loses the only person anchoring him to something resembling purpose: His latest infatuation, the hot German dominatrix scientist Basine is rolled out of the Cosmology and String Theory Conference on a stretcher, vacant-eyed and limp, as Mexican police clear the scene like it's a crime—or maybe an exorcism...

Jonnie Fazoolie is flat on his back—literally and financially—after placing blind faith in a crypto hacker who’s less a person and more a full-body hallucination. Sato isn’t just a black-hat savant: he’s a living fever dream of sensory overload, a human glitch in the matrix who codes not by logic but by intuition, emotion, and synesthetic chaos. Smells trigger algorithms, colors become encryption...

In this section the con from Jonnie Fazoolie & the Transfinite Reality Engine gets cannibalistic. Our antihero Jonnie is sweating bullets in the lobby of a Mexican casino, cornered by creditors, stalked by feds, and hanging everything on a Hail Mary: regaining access to a Bitcoin stash he bought for peanuts back in 2011… and promptly locked himself out of. Enter Sato, a pint-sized Japanese hac...

In today's reading, Mookie Spitz dives into the 18th section of Jonnie Fazoolie & the Transfinite Reality Engine , featuring a feverish stretch that finds Jonnie teetering on the razor’s edge between cosmic brilliance and total crackpot despair. Here in a Cancun casino lobby — wired on speed, broke as ever, and chasing half-baked startup schemes — Jonnie's mind runs laps around itsel...

 Mookie Spitz reads from section 17 of Jonnie Fazoolie & the Transfinite Reality Engine, plunging us into a hypnotic collision of cutting-edge physics, philosophical horror, and raw human compulsion. At a sweltering Cancun conference, Dr. Basine Felderhassen sits among the aging titans of string theory and particle physics, all hoping for a revelation that will finally break their decades-long...

 Mookie Spitz reads the 16th installment of Jonnie Fazoolie & the Transfinite Reality Engine, where the frontiers of physics collide with something far more primal. Dr. Basine Felderhossen, sharp-tongued physicist and lifelong skeptic, finds herself trapped in another stuffy lecture hall at a Cancun cosmology conference. Around her, brilliant minds parade one tired hypothesis after another: de...

Mookie Spitz reads the next section from Jonnie Fazoolie & the Transfinite Reality Engine, plunging us into a charged exchange that’s equal parts scientific sparring, philosophical hustle, and awkward but provocative flirting.  Jonnie, jittery and reckless as ever, crosses paths with Dr. Basine Felderhossen, a sharp German physicist attending a string theory conference in Cancun. Over coffee (...

 Mookie Spitz reads from section 14 of his novel Jonnie Fazoolie & the Transfinite Reality Engine , dropping us right into a tense, awkward, and strangely electric encounter. Johnny, drenched in sweat and amped up on drugs, stumbles through a Cancun hotel lobby in search of a simple cup of coffee — anything to ground him after his latest meltdown. Instead, he collides with Dr. Basine Felderhos...

Your host and literary agent of chaos, Mookie Spitz, is back to read from his brainchild trainwreck, Jonnie Fazoolie & the Transfinite Reality Engine. This time it’s pod #13 — lucky for absolutely no one, because Johnny is living his own personal extinction event. Picture this: a 6’8” genetic ticking time bomb with a busted Marfan syndrome chromosome 15, hungover and beaten up in a black wroug...

Welcome to No Hair All Heart , where Mookie Spitz — your bald, blissfully shameless guide — dissects his own novel, Jonnie Fazoolie & the Transfinite Reality Engine , by reading it out loud like it’s group therapy. This isn’t your typical sleepy audiobook or pompous author podcast. It’s a front-row seat to watching a man gleefully pick at the scabs of his deranged fiction. In this twisted inst...

Mookie Spitz is back with another riotous reading from Jonnie Fazoolie & the Transfinite Reality Engine . Today’s dive kicks off on page 69 — where Johnny’s life continues its precipitious and self-inflicted descent. Penny Pitz is gone. His penthouse is confiscated by the Cook County Sheriff. His  cat is probably the only stable thing he has going for him. Meanwhile, Jonnie's convinced th...

Mookie takes you on a ride through the tangled mess of what it means to be human—generous, flawed, disappointed, hopeful. It starts with a rock star story: a friend of a friend's one-night stand with Eddie Van Halen, where months after their fling, Eddie spots her in a concert crowd and throws her a humble thumbs-up. Just a tiny gesture, but a seismic show of humanity. From there, things turn...

Mookie Spitz reads The Irate Escape , last section of the first wild episode in his new sci-fi novel Jonnie Fazoolie & the Transfinite Reality Engine. Jonnie, still strutting around in a dripping espresso-stained wingsuit, tries to charm Penny Pitz in the marble lobby of a Chicago high-rise -- and #fails. Penny’s having none of it — she flips him off and spins out of his life through a revolvi...

Host Mookie Spitz returns with the ninth installment of his daily novel read, pulling you headfirst into the glorious wreckage that is Jonnie Fazoolie & the Transfinite Reality Engine.   This time, Johnny launches himself off his own penthouse balcony in downtown Chicago wearing a neon purple Freak5 wingsuit, big blond hair whipping in the wind, streaming his wild POV live to a drooling intern...

Here's another chapter from Jonnie Fazoolie & the Transfinite Reality Engine, delivered with barbed wit and raw relish by author Mookie Spitz. In this episode, “Piddle of a Riddle, ” the balcony becomes a high-altitude theater for a twisted battle of wits, egos, and dangerously misplaced affections. Jonnie — a jittery cocktail of narcissism, ADHD, hypochondria, and wingsuit bravado — corn...

Here's another backstage pass into the reckless, weirdly poetic universe of Jonnie Fazoolie & the Transfinite Reality Engine, narrated by the sardonic mind behind it all — author Mookie Spitz.  In this episode, “Interview with a View,” Jonnie Fazoolie — a lanky, allergy-ridden, hot-sauce-guzzling adrenaline junkie with a Ponzi’s conscience and Lincoln’s physique — tries to hustle his way...

Bald, blunt, and bleeding heart, Mookie rants about sex, love, and why so many modern relationships are tepid and fail. Forget gentle coaching or soft disclaimers. he's here to punch through stale habits and lazy assumptions about intimacy with GGG: good, giving, and game , Dan Savage’s rock-solid framework for any relationship that’s actually worth your time.  He spells out what being good i...

Step into the dumpster fire brilliance of Jonnie Fazoolie's life—a fever dream blend of Silicon Valley delusion, influencer vanity, and pure unfiltered bullshit.  In this “warm up” read from his new sci-fi novel Jonnie Fazoolie & the Transfinite Reality Engine , host Mookie Spitz guides you through the carnage of today's audio book reading, where we meet Jonnie in all his gaudy, self...

Podcast Description: In this episode of No Hair All Heart , Mookie Spitz reads from Jonnie Fazoolie & the Transfinite Reality Engine , capturing the moment Penny Pitz—elite journalist, lifelong overachiever, and reluctant poster child for playing it safe—walks headlong into a situation she doesn't understand, but maybe needs. Penny’s headed to a trash-laden penthouse in a Chicago high-ris...

Mookie Spitz, the author of Jonnie Fazoolie & the Transfinite Reality Engine continues to read his entire novel, from start to finish, one section per day.  Here we're dropped into the chaotic, hilarious, and increasingly fraught career of Penny Pitz—crypto escapee turned cultural editor trying to matter again in a world that’s gotten even dumber than she remembers. Still raw from her PR...

Mookie Spitz reads from his new sci-fi novel, Jonnie Fazoolie & the Transfinite Reality Engine , a ruthless, intimate descent into Penny Pitz’ post-crypto aftermath—equal parts satire, survivor's tale, and societal indictment. Once a jet-setting crypto PR queen, Penny now finds herself downgraded to business reporter at a stifling office in Jersey City, exiled from luxury and reduced to e...

Dive deep into the cautionary tale of Penny Pitz—one-time idealist, Ivy League double-major, and crypto casualty. Read by Mookie Spitz from Jonnie Fazoolie & the Transfinite Reality Engine , enter the world of a Gen Z heroine whose hunger to matter gets chewed up and spit out by a world that rewards hustle over honesty and hype over substance. Fresh out of Brown, Penny's activist zeal col...