No Crying In Baseball

Do we sound sultry or gravelly after three straight days of cheering at World Baseball Classic games, the best baseball weekend of our lives? You make the call. We’ve got the details of what it felt like in the stands , where everyone hung on every pitch , made new best friends , and danced it off won or lost outside the ballpark. Because there is other baseball too, we’ve got our last weekend of...

World Baseball Classic and Spring Training at the same time?  It is an embarrassment of riches leading to overwhelming choices and lack of sleep. Pottymouth’s boyfriends this week are 22 year old shortstops that are a little mysterious, and Patti chooses center fielders playing for their home teams and we both have to get past childhood grudges to do so. For the Yankees, Pottymouth picks Oswald Pe...

Pottymouth convinces Patti that Jason Momoa is thematic because Samoan and because Jorge Alfaro. We’ve got boyfriends on the Guardians and the Mets. Max messes with the pitch clock rules , the Red Sox mess with shift rules , and the Os and Pirates don’t need no stinkin’ badges . Cleveland girl Patti  is so happy to talk Guardian boyfriends, and of course she and Pottymouth pick gold glove outfield...

We profile boyfriends from Toronto and St. Louis, detail the shake up in the Os quality hair above replacement (qHAR), and share first day fun with the pitch clock. Alejandro “Captain” Kirk is still a Spring Training no-show for all the right reasons, and is Pottymouth’s TOR bf for this season.  Patti selects TOR trilingual utility player Otto Lopez because baseball is the universal language. On t...

Much ado about Manny Machado as he announces intent to opt out of his contract next year, has a cameo in Pottymouth’s bf conversation and a full on support role in Patti’s. Patti picked Ha-Seong Kim as her SD bf only partially to say nice things about Manny. Pottymouth goes all young, dynamic Dominican players this week by continuing with Juan Soto as her once and forever for SD, and selecting ROY...

We recorded right before The Big Game, putting “Go, Eagles” on record. Purely coincidentally this is Phillies (and Rays) boyfriend week. For Tampa Bay, Pottymouth chooses winter ball favorite Christian Bethancourt and Patti goes for Charm City Villain Luke Raley . Finally, FINALLY, Pottymouth names Kyle from Waltham as her Phillies boyfriend, while Patti scoops up an entire family with her choice...

Our Orioles boyfriends include Patti’s once and forever boyfriend and birthday boy Adley Rutschman , and Pottymouth’s selection of Ramon Urias , completing a boyfriend brother set. Pottymouth’s Brewers choice is a twofer as Garrett Mitchell is pretty great on his own but add in his wife Haley and he’s a sure thing. Patti goes for prospect Brice Turang and his large, remarkably athletic family. We...

This week’s boyfriends represent the Chicago White Sox and the San Francisco Giants.  Pottymouth focuses on Venezuelan players and Patti pays attention to CWS draft picks from 2017. Pottymouth selects White Sox 2B Lenyn Sosa , who also plays SS for the Leones de Caracas. Patti selects Jake Burger , not for the easy pun potential but because of his remarkable generosity in sharing his depression an...

In this super-sized episode fueled by leftover holiday novelty beer, Pottymouth can’t stop talking Red Sox. For BOS bfs, Pottymouth picks good guy  Rob Refsnyder  and then fixes Patti up with shirtless pregamer Tristan Casas . Pottymouth’s Diamondbacks bf this season is possible ROY Corbin Carroll , while Patti selects Jake McCarthy for his periodic Gunnar-level qHAR. In the Police Blotter, Oriole...

We walk you through both International Signing Day and the deadline to push slips of paper with numbers on them across the table (also how arbitration works and who avoided it). The Carlos Correa crab game has come to a close and Patti is not even smug about being right. We share our boyfriend picks for both the Twins and the Cubs. Pottymouth chooses the happy energy of Jose Miranda while Patti go...

We’ve got a supersized Police Blotter this week, what with the Dodgers doing the right thing at the very last minute. We ponder why it took so long to DFA Trevor Bauer , and what may happen if another MLB team has the poor judgment to pick him up, ranging from T shirt purges to vandalism. We explore the relationship of adult beverages to crime as 1) the man who whipped two cans of White Claw at Te...

We kick off the new year with Rockies and Rangers boyfriends. Patti is already considering Rangers pitching for our wacky fantasy league, but that’s separate from picking Josh Smith , because LSU and other compelling factors.  Pottymouth selects Nathaniel Lowe because he’s a pottymouth, and other compelling reasons. For the Rockies, Patti and Dante Bichette both see the potential in Brendan Rodger...

As you might expect, Patti and the Pottymouth spend Christmas night talking baseball, fact-checking “The Chanukah song,” and drinking gin and tonickas. We cannot avoid the Carlos Correa kerfuffle, but we off-set it with other players on the move and Aaron Judge’s Rolex . We introduce our Tigers and Reds boyfriends: Riley Greene and Spencer Torkelson , Tyler Stephenson and Jose Barrero . It’s Chris...

Are we Team Italy now?  Our Royals picks point that way. Pottymouth orders the Italian Breakfast (and former flying monkey) Vinnie Pasquantino and Patti selects Nicky Lopez , who is boots on the ground with his community involvement. Our Pirates guys include a Cleveland favorite, Carlos Santana , and a rookie record-breaker in Oneil Cruz . Dansby Swanson to the Cubs is the last of the top tier sho...

The first FA shortstop moves tick off two major metropolitan areas. Pottymouth mourns Boston’s loss of the XMan to Xan Diego , and Patti shares the DMV’s piled-on feeling of Trea to Phils – another former Nat back to a rival NL East team. Josh Bell to the Guards just puts another jersey on Patti’s Christmas list. We kick off our off-season boyfriend profile picks with the As and the Nats. Pottymou...

In advance of the Winter Meetings, starting pitcher signings are the big news but NCiB boyfriends are also on the move, including a full boyfriend trade between the Brewers and Mariners. Miguel Cabrera announces his upcoming retirement, reminding us that in addition to spectacular batting stats, he’ll leave a legacy of giving back to his communities. The Winter Meetings bring us a new draft lotter...

The Thanksgiving weekend gives us the opportunity to highlight teams and players giving back, through hurricane relief , housing , and of course, providing meals to those in need. The Rule 5 Draft is fast approaching so we get you all caught up on what it means and why it is important. We belatedly congratulate Caroline O’Connor , new president of business operations for the Marlins, and we learn...

So many awards , so many failed predictions. Pottymouth’s pre-season ROY pick of Julio Rodriquez was the exception, reminding us all that our observations are for entertainment purposes only. Patti thinks Brandon Hyde was robbed, just a little, but otherwise we can’t really complain about the winners. We review the hot stove vocabulary word “ non-tende r” and things teams and players cannot say ab...

We catch you up on Platinum glove , Hank Aaron , and Player’s Choice awards, which is like watching  the Golden Globes to prep for the Oscars. The GM meetings happened last week, weirdly during the “quiet period,” kicking off the official Hot Stove Season. We provide the annual qualifying offer vocabulary lesson, with offers tendered to 14 free agents. Scott Boras drives Pottymouth to defend high-...

We’re happy for Dusty, Pottymouth is happy for JV, Patti is resigned to scrappy not prevailing in the end. Birthday girl Pottymouth finds a way to make the World Series about the Red Sox and it just feels right. It also leads to more quality analysis of “combined no-hitter” vs. “no-hitter,” and big credit to the catcher, in this case Christian Vazquez . Jeremy Peña is the MVP and the “it” boy of t...

We make our World Series calls official. Pottymouth asserts Astros in five, with all the feels for the old guys ( Dusty and Justin), and the promise of the youngsters (Mauricio Dubón and Jeremy Peña ). Patti leans into the joyful and the scrappy of what FoxSports calls the “ Greatest College Baseball Team of All Time,” Phillies in 6. Fun fact about our skill in boyfriend selection, all runs in Gam...

One solid prediction made by your hosts? We picked the Phils and the Padres as “fun to watch” before the season started and the NLCS has proved us right. Our postseason BFs include qHar-adjacent Brandon Marsh , once and maybe forever BF Juan Soto, Kyle “ King Tuck ” Tucker, and Machete Maldonado. Patti’s former bfs on the Phillies are embracing the chaos. Pottymouth’s former HOU bf Jeremy Peña mak...

Junior Pottymouth and his hours-old Mariners cap sit in while Patti splits for the beach. Playoff ponderings include the rise of the underdogs, just how many non-baseball things you can do during an 18-inning game and still see most of it, and the lefty vegan pitching for the Hammers. Manny Machado not only being That Shirtless Guy but also learning phrases in Korean to encourage teammate Ha-seong...

Your BOS and BAL fan co-hosts relished the sweeps of AL East Wildcard teams, the crazy records for shortest game and longest scoreless game, SpongeBob walk-offs, shirtless cellies, multiple greatest comebacks of all time, shoes on heads , and Mets fans behaving predictably badly.  Going forward to the next round we may see biblical plagues , all the Dusty, and none of the Chapman . Batting titles...

We start off the last week of the regular season by setting up Wildcard Weekend, and looking to next year with Ohtani’s record deal and yet another return of Miggy. There was so much news about hair that we created a whole segment – Gunnar Henderson is Minor League Player of the Year, Harold Ramirez ’s blue hair for autism awareness may inspire more postseason blue for the Rays, and cross-training...