No Crying In Baseball

Patti and the Pottymouth boldly predict the upcoming season’s award winners and champions . Our logic is as airtight as you would expect (Patti goes where the Matts go and Pottymouth follows her heart). The minor leagues are brazenly getting to second base more quickly, and taking all of our money with this year’s ¡Copa de Diversión! merch. We congratulate the Tigers for treating Tork right, the C...

Patti and the Pottymouth reveal their Fantasy Boyfriend Baseball rosters for the new season, backing up their selections with references to Wardle vs Wordle strategies, adult beverages, philanthropy, children, and cars . So that tracks. Sticky stuff is back, bringing a new level of awkward to umpire duties. NYC caves to the sports lobby and rolls back a vaccine mandate , while Toronto fans tell un...

NCiB boyfriends of the past are making splashy news in trades and free agency .  We dwell on Freddie and the Welcome Matts, Eugenio ’s qHar, and Miami’s Soler power, among other big bats and homecomings. We profile our fantasy pitching squads – Pottymouth goes west coast with Giants pitching, and Patti is still grooving on Hammers pitching since the World Series. COVID protocols are back in conver...

Cheers to the end of the lockout, the beginning of spring training, and finally an Opening Day countdown. Patti walks you through the new CBA agreement including the rule changes , the Police Blotter feels like old times, and Pottymouth suffers the first bitter breakup of the current boyfriend season. We celebrate Pottymouth’s restraint in having saved Wander Franco until this year as her Ray’s pi...

There should be a new NCiB drinking game for the number of times we say “league-imposed lock-out” in this episode. This week’s CBA negotiation update requires Patti to add yet another layer of complication to Rule 5 Draft , talk about ghost wins (they are a thing!), note that the player’s union is taking steps to protect stadium workers but as yet the League is all talk, and remind dear listeners...

We get feisty over “hostile” CBA negotiations , and stand with “furious” players. We call Rob Manfred on his ridiculous assertion that there is a deadline that needs to be met or games get canceled. It’s YOUR lockout, MLB!  Thank you Atlanta Hammers for being compelled to release your financials therefore providing actual data. And for you billionaire vs millionaire folks, please give Sara Sanchez...

Forced to find the good in the Yankees, Pottymouth is clearly won over by new BF Estevan Florial . Patti gives the nod to impeccably groomed Giancarlo Stanton and his “fricking forearms.” For the Cardinals, Pottymouth flies like an eagle with Edmundo “Mundito” Sosa and Patti cheers Noots-not-boos for Lars Nootbaar . We note that it is the lockout, not CBA negotiations, forcing a delay in spring tr...

Superb Owl Sunday was the greatest cross training day of our lives. We discuss the problematic boys vs men conversation in Olympic hockey and then immediately reference baby goalies, and Patti gets uppity about her alma mater. This week brings the longest police blotter of all time, featuring domestic abuse , assault , a class action suit , and controlled substances . We are very quick to judge, b...

CBA negotiations heat up a notch as the League tries to bring in the Feds while the Players instead bring in the fans. Cowboy Joe hangs up his chest protector and yet still no women umpires in sight. Pottymouth adds a prize to her Hernandez collection, naming Teoscar as her Blue Jays boyfriend. Patti puts in a bid for beer with the Biggios with her pick of Cavan . For the Reds, Pottymouth Blind Si...

Patti and the Pottymouth make plans to join Big Papi at Cooperstown for the impending zoo and a voting makeover. There is some movement on both sides of the CBA negotiations but the stated  willingness on the part of the league to miss games is Very Disappointing. The Minors will start on time and eyes will be on the mandated housing for players and the newly un-mandated vaccine situation. Pottymo...

Today’s episode features a surprising number of references to Roberto Clemente, awkward puns, and post-production inserts. Pottymouth goes full Criollos for this week’s boyfriend picks – Vimael Machín for Oakland and no-no catcher Victor Caratini for the Padres. Patti’s A’s guy is Skye Bolt for many reasons that are not his name, and exercises her once a year forever boyfriend option on Padre Jake...

We celebrate declaring boyfriends for the Guardians instead of “The Cleveland Team.” Pals Pottymouth and Patti choose pals Yu Chang and Bobby Bradley . For the Mets, Pottymouth looks to Yadi fan Tomás Nido , while Patti goes local with Adam Jones fan Khalil Lee . International Signing Day brings a phenomenon to the Nationals and “Little Altuve” to the Blue Jays. The League brought a disappointing...

That’s where we find ourselves in lockout land. Coaches can get jobs (yay, Joey Cora !), but players can’t get jobs as coaches (Sorry, Adam Eaton !) There are rumors of new economic proposals but no one seems to be in a hurry to get this done. We learn that sleeping in your car at an intersection is not a crime. Pottymouth selects Captain America-level nice guy David Fletcher as her Angels BF for...

Anzoátegui is the new “adorable.” Pottymouth’s favorite word to say not only comes up in our international baseball segment, but sneaks its way in to this week’s boyfriend picks for the Tigers and the Cubs! We begin and end with some winter heartwarmers of Minor League owners and hockey fans changing lives for the better, and we break those warm hearts a little in between. The Iowa Cubs sold to En...

It wasn’t a spider bite or gamma rays that gave Pottymouth her Red Sox fandom superpowers, it was her Dad. Hear Bob’s stories of Ted Williams, childhood trips to watch the home team from the bleachers, brushes with fame, and the nice Jewish boys playing for the church league. He confirms the till now urban legend of pulling young Pottymouth from the Fenway stands to protect her from the salty lang...

Upon further review, Adalberto Mondesi gets the Royals boyfriend nod from Pottymouth and Patti makes another early, bold choice for ROY with Bobby Witt, Jr . For the Marlins, Pottymouth hopes for A+ with Avisaíl Garcia , and your hosts want to have a beer with the maternal grandmother of Patti’s pick, Jazz Chisolm . As the lockout continues, there’s more time to explore the economics of it all , d...

NCiB is 100% Boosted! A photo of Pottymouth’s Twins BF pick, Mitch Garver , drinking a beer while wearing his baby in a sling, has us waxing nostalgic and digging for similar photos from our own collections, while Brent Rooker ’s Twitter feed is like a visit to the pop culture aisle in Patti’s brain. Showing her excellent judgment, Pottymouth sticks with Juan Soto as her forever BF when we get to...

Fueled by local distilleries and breweries , Patti and the Pottymouth present their new boyfriend selections from the Rangers and the Pirates, with a bonus of Pottymouth sharing her research strategy tips (hint: it involves googling the word “scandal”). Please welcome Adolis Garcia (made us say “ARod”), Corey Seager (also made us say “ARod”), Ke’Bryan Hayes (we want to have a beer with his dad), a...

Patti and the Pottymouth kick off a new round of baseball boyfriends with their picks for the Orioles and Diamondbacks. Pottymouth profiles comeback player of the year Trey Mancini , and homegrown utility player Josh Rojas . Patti finally celebrates Adley Rutschman Day and finds a way to tie it to labor negotiations . She also selects almost-Olympian Seth Beer , because we love our Beer here at NC...

That’s how we define a successful boyfriend season -- some we picked too soon , some didn’t live up to the hype ,  some left town, many were all we hoped for and more , but nobody broke our hearts. We had a great time saying goodbye to our 2021 crew and making room for the new guys. Wander Franco makes a case for being a 2022 Rays boyfriend with his tremendous deal.  We teach vocabulary words in E...

There are two Guardian teams in town , and no one is saying but one of them may be a fairly wealthy roller derby team. Yasiel Puig settled a civil suit to make sexual assault go away, dropped Rachel Luba, earned Defender of the Year in LMB, and wants back into MLB. We are thrilled that MLB teams will now provide housing for minor league players . Check that box and move on to fair pay. Clint Frazi...

Vote on the pants and hair. That’s how Award Season: Boyfriend Edition might play out. Our guys did well across the Silver Sluggers and Gloves both Gold and Platinum (Patti 13, Pottymouth 11, if anyone is keeping score -- we certainly wouldn’t do that), but our pre-season predictions don’t hold up . You can still vote for your baseball bfs for the All-MLB team . It was “ Business As Usual ” at the...

We cry a little into our brunch beer over Buster Posey ’s retirement. Our World Series wrap up includes Pottymouth’s dream job , Joc’s Mardis Gras moment, Freddie , Eddie, and Jorge , and a better way to honor 44 than just playing with numbers. Collective bargaining takes center stage so we talk potential lock-out both practically and optically. It’s officially Hot Stove time so we lay out themes...

Our Halloween episode has Patti briefly revisiting 1995, a very scary year, in which she first built her sportsgrudge against the Atlanta Team. But now she loves “those Hammers guys” including effectively wild Ian Anderson, the magical Eddie Rosario, and the only Austin left standing. Pottymouth reminds us of the treasure that is Dusty Baker , the first manager to take five teams to the postseason...

Patti and the Pottymouth break down the evils of the World Series teams and the pros come down to I love Dusty vs. I love those guys. Yup, Pottymouth is in for the Trashtros and Patti throws down for the Hammers. In our efforts to show one team’s terrible is not quite as bad as the other team’s terrible, Pottymouth points out the small number of cheaters still left on the Houston team, and Patti s...