New Kinship

Within Christian circles on the faith and sexuality, we (especially Side B people) spend a lot of time talking about different “sides” and where we stand. Some people think we shouldn’t even talk about sides at all. While there may be merit to some of their objections, we still think it’s a valuable way of framing things. This episode explains why we keep using “Side A” and “Side B”. We might give...

Ethnicity, race, nationalism… Just bringing up those words can raise the temperature of the room. These topics intersect and affect our daily lives in ways that are so important—how do we, as Christians, engage these topics well? We share some initial thoughts on ethnicity and on why it can be important to focus on it, or de-emphasize it, in our daily lives. We welcome your input and sharpening of...

We are so excited to welcome Mwendia Steve Kiengu to the podcast as we begin highlighting perspectives from Africa! Mwendia is a seminary student in Kenya who’s grown up with same-sex attraction. He talks with TJ about the African cultural dynamics they’ve both experienced around same-sex attraction—how people talk about it, advice they give, and the challenges that Christians with same-sex attrac...

We (David and TJ) are Side B, and we care about engaging people across differences. Last year we interviewed three Side A folks from different perspectives: #12 - JP’s Story: Moving Away from Side B #13 - Ordained, Gay, and Seeking Liberation: A Chat with Rev. Tyler Sit #17 - Giacomo Sanfilippo on the Asceticism of Same-Sex Love In January, we got the chance to sit down together and reflect on tho...

Contrary to (some) opinions, those of us who consider ourselves “Side B” on Christian sexuality don’t agree on everything, nor is there a shared “declaration of theology” document that we can all agree on. What ideas unite and divide the Side B community? TJ and David identify 6 areas of unity and 8 areas of difference, within the Side B community. Note: This episode uses the terms “Side A” and “S...

Tate grew up in small-town, Bible-belt Texas before attending “the absolute worst of the worst” of the “too liberal or too secular" universities. We (David and TJ) talk with Tate about his story of coming out, growing in faith, and being a bridge between different communities. We appreciated Tate’s reflection on how the words we use to describe sexuality (such as gay, same-sex attracted, homosexua...

True love means… what?? There are many answers to that question, and in this episode, we’re just talking about some of them. In part 3 of our conversation with medieval literature scholar Kathryn Mogk Wagner, we reflect on some of the implications of the “pure relationship”—and how combining or removing certain elements of the historic marriage relationship can have big impacts. How should we thin...

But not that kind of western romance… Pop quiz: Which of the following reasons is a good reason to get married to someone? Because your family or social circle wants you to Because you sexually desire that person (or are already sexually involved) Because you want children (or have them already) Because you need financial stability Because you’re “in love” with that person Because you’re “in love”...

What does it mean to love your best friend? Is it the same as the kind of love you have for your spouse or romantic partner? How about the kind of love that God gives us, or that we can give God? These are questions that people have been asking in the Christian tradition for millennia. Eros is one of the Greek words for love that people have argued about. In this episode, we talk with medieval lit...

Note: This podcast includes content suitable for adult audiences; listener discretion is advised. Giacomo was a great conversation partner for building understanding across differences and investigating a theology of same-sex love. We encourage listeners to listen closely to try to understand one Side A perspective more carefully, and to think about how people from a Side B perspective might engag...

Michelle and Will are two friends who identify as asexual and queer, and we (David and TJ) wanted to hear their take on what’s good about being queer. Before that, we spent a little more time reflecting on those topics ourselves. __________ Timestamps 01:00 - In which David and TJ summarize a few initial goods from their own queer experience: avoiding “the establishment”, discipleship, Plato’s tak...

Join us as we (David, TJ, and our friends Will and Michelle—who are asexual/queer) explore ideas of what “queerness” means. While we can’t come to one single definition, we hit on a kaleidoscope of topics as we explore the weirdness inherent in the word “queer,” the queering influence of Christianity, queerness and the arts, and ontological questions about queer sexual orientation. — A Few Quick D...

TJ talks with Lucas, a friend from the Midwest (US) who experiences same-sex attraction and generally identifies with Side B but finds understanding among several “sides” of the Christian debate. We see Lucas’s story offering an example of someone processing through faith, attraction, ethnicity, political frameworks, and arriving at a position of thoughtfulness and nuance. — Note: We use the terms...

In June 2022, TJ went to a Pride Festival for the first time, and he reflects on his experience, with alternating bemusement and critique. Get full access to New Kinship at newkinship.substack.com/subscribe

David and TJ sit down with Rev. Tyler Sit of New City Church in the Twin Cities, Minnesota, USA. Tyler represents a “Side A” pastoral perspective as an ordained minister for the United Methodist Church in the US. In this wide-ranging conversation, David and TJ to seek to understand Tyler's perspective, his understanding of Side B, and his take on Side A hermeneutics, particularly those centere...

David and TJ get together with friend JP from the Twin Cities. We talk about JP’s movement away from “Side B” to a more agnostic and/or “Side A” position. We also get into JP’s experience with the “ex-gay” movement, people, and ministries, and we talk about issues he sees in US Christianity that make some of these conversations difficult for queer people. Check out our response to JP and other Sid...

In this bonus episode, TJ and David review the 6 universal moral foundations from Jonathan Haidt’s research in light of their views—and others’—on Christian queer sexuality. This is a follow-up to last week’s discussion, so you may want to listen to that episode also. If you enjoy this bonus episode, drop us a line! Share feedback or questions by sending us a voice message at  anchor.fm/communion-...

TJ and David dig into Dr. Jonathan Haidt’s social, cultural, and psychological research on the universal moral foundations, based on Haidt’s book The Righteous Mind: Why Good People Are Divided by Politics and Religion, i.e. we explore how these foundations inform our “intuitive ethics,” which give key insights to how we approach sexual ethics. We also talk through how this theory relates to diffe...

After verbally processing on our last podcast, we read and listened to various perspectives that differ from ours and are coming back to discuss it again. This can be considered a summary of sorts of the last podcast, with some finer-tuned thoughts. See David's reflection that he shared with his church - The False Dichotomy of Pride Month ____________________________ Referenced Articles: Rod Drehe...

What to do about the Pride Month? Reject? Celebrate? A little of both? TJ and David take a stab at complexifying this simple question. (rough cut audio while sitting on the porch) Get full access to New Kinship at newkinship.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode, we, joined by our friend and project manager/editor Alaina, talk about covenant brotherhood, via the particular instantiation of TJ’s covenant brotherhood/s with four brothers. TJ shares his general story, we talk about the general shape and contours of the relationship, consider its relationship to celibate partnerships, and provide general preliminary advice about what it might...

Recommendation for episode #916 on the podcast Theology in the Raw. https://www.prestonsprinkle.com/theology-in-the-raw/916-misty-irons Preston Sprinkle gives good introductory thoughts on "gay" identity before sharing an incredible talk from Revoice by Misty Irons that we've mentioned before. Get full access to New Kinship at newkinship.substack.com/subscribe

David Frank shares about his "coming out" story at church and with family, reflecting on formative influences on his sexuality, and how God has established him in a Side B life that is committed to sewing into community. _____________ [CONTENT WARNING: Story includes brief mentions of direct sexual desire and addiction.] _____________ 1:03 - Revoice Recap 6:48 - Jesus and My Sexuality 14:07 - Sin...

TJ Espinoza shares the history of his personal understanding about his own sexuality, and how God has lead him through study, community, and spiritual experience towards a Side B conviction, even if it leaves him with many loose ends for his life. _____________ [CONTENT WARNING: Story includes brief mentions of moments of direct sexual desire.] _____________ 2:24 - TJ in Americas 19:06 - Queer in...

David and TJ get into one of the most commonly controversial topics currently regarding the Side B conversation and Side B Christians – terminology! We talk through some common reason why contemporary queer Christians may use queer/lgbt+ terminology in their lives versus people who would eschew such terms and often focus on instead using same sex (sexually) attracted (SS(S)A) terminology or else e...