Nerd Poker

Welcome to an all new campaign! Some things are the same. Tom, Twee, and Bodhi are trying to stop the moon from crashing into the planet or something. They don't know a whole lot about what sort of moon-based calamity they're trying to stop yet. But they do have a clever half-elf eldritch knight fighting alongside them, and a whole world full of awkward continent and city names (spelled Bonnkyl an...

More enemies of flesh and stone appear. Twee makes a cosmic gambit. Tom takes no Demelith sass. Bodhi stomps. Is the title of this episode a reference to our generous skeletal benefactor? Only time will tell.

The party has battled to the bottom of the cursed land of Amynna. They discover an altar. Forms fizzle in and out of the air. Bodhi rages.

With the bottom of Amynna glowing up through the caverns, the party is faced with a possible endgame. But time and space appear less than stable, and if everyone doesn't stick close the fabric of reality itself may begin to fray at the seams. As things get intense, will Goggo say the ultimate stupid thing? Only time will tell. But you know, it's Goggo. So...

Our party has traveled deep beneath the land of Amynna, and the battle with the boulder-like Beholder is now in full swing. Also, everyone is less sick this episode so the overall energy (and Skeletor's Dick references) is kicked up a notch. Will the crew unlock the mysteries of the caves? Only time will tell.

After some ridiculously lucky Charisma rolls against Count Barriss, the group's dice will be tested once again as they head to the woods to meet their old nemeses, the Lunar elves. Also, all the players are deathly ill, in case you wondered why everyone's so mellow this episode. Will Bodhi snap and smush some skulls? Will Twee be able to levitate in a parallel dimension? Will Tom discover somethin...

Blaine is back, and just in time for the parade! An ally from another timeline has arrived to put the smack down on the party, and this time it might not be so easy to talk them out of a bloodletting. Will Blaine do some proper commercials? Will Rhoads be in the mood to say hi, or will Minecraft take priority? Only time will tell.

Merry Christmas! Sadly, Twee's player took ill and had to sit out this episode, so he is being driven by the shitty DM. Bodhi and Tom do their best to keep Dan from killing him, while re-encountering the direly irritating Count Ahmelegda. Will they encounter even more creepy undead jerks? Will whisky be consumed? Will bad commercials happen without Blaine? Only time will tell.

Our heroes have narrowly dodged the fist of the Demelith, and as they enter the caves beneath the land of Amynna they meet a crew of drow they must negotiate with. Will Luovyn be super gross? Will Bodhi stab the wrong thing? Will Tom learn what his heart desires? Only time will tell.

The crew meets one of those creepy Lunar Elves at the edge of the marshes, and her name sure isn't Lola. Also, the world is ending all around them. Will the ground come to life? Will Twee remember to fly? Will Dan just let him fly even though he said levitate? Will our heroes survive the for real apocalypse? Only time will tell.

After a brutal confrontation with Count Fenzehn the party is ready to make a final push to the Demelith's lair. Or so they think. If things were dark and creepy before it turns out it can get a lot worse. Will Twee keep receiving DM notes just to piss off Bodhi? Will Tom get closure from his latest vision of Netty? Only time will tell.

Wait, what's that about a final sacrifice? What the hell is this last vampire? Are our heroes way way too late? Only time will tell.

It's coming. Boss fights that almost feel final. Our merry army of Demelith slayers has encountered Count Diandell, a powerful bard who knows more magic than any foe thus far. Will Tom's new sword finally explode with power? Will Twee survive a powerful dark spell right to the face? Will Bodhi be forced to live out his greatest fear? Only time will tell.

Bodhi, Twee, and Tom have ventured across Amynna to gather an army against the Demelith, and now they arrive back at the wood of the Lunar Elves. Goggo the evil faerie is in as good a mood as ever, which probably isn't a good sign given that he is a major creep. Will Bodhi punch an old friend? Will Tom reveal the truth to his vampire companion? Will Twee set the woods on fire for the third time? O...

After making the long journey back to the dwarven city of Glorindan, our heroes have made an uncertain acquaintance with Grizma Greycragg, the last royal of the city. Though battle may pause, the social hostilities of Amynna continue as they make difficult negotiations for supplies with the queen and liberate her evil Great, Great, Great Grandfather. Will Bodhi be the only one to keep a cool head?...

Finally our heroes emerge from the ghostly ring of ghouls to find an ancient battleground that causes concern among the wood elves (WOOD ELVES?) and one of Blaine's most sincere sponsor ads yet. Will our heroes get sucked beneath the wastes? Will a new non-player character become a new creepy-ass foe? Only time will tell.

Behold! Things escalate quickly in the mysterious mists, and two undead creatures emerge that are unlike anything our heroes have seen before. Will more brains get scooped out? Will the brand new army of elves get cut in half? Will Blaine have a good vampire slaying commercial? Only time will tell.

Welcome to a deviation from our regular adventures, a silly invented side-quest in the land of Chult, straight from the new Tomb of Annihilation adventure! Want to hear us dig deeper? Subscribe to our Patreon, you'll hear some more real soon! Next week we'll be back to our regular campaign of Amynna.

Kord has reached out to bless our heroes, who receive gifts that bend the rules of the universe. But it may be too late, as dark acolytes are hunting them, and they strike with the unforgiving fury of one of Brian's farts. Who are these dark horrors? Will Dan pop a vein in his head from being interrupted? Only time will tell.

After an exhausting battle inside the great tree, our heroes give a touching farewell to their gross but symbolic friend and begin to gather a mighty force to march across Amynna. With three paths before them, will they gather more allies or begin a great assault? What messages are being brought before them? Will the messenger get stomped on? Only time will tell.

They did it! Sort of! Warchild has been plugged into the nerve center of the lost city, but now the lost city's immune system has one more obstacle to throw at our heroes: an amalgam of treant guts and wood elves that wants to absorb our heroes into some kind of body parts co-op situation. Will our heroes think of a witty follow-up to "wood elves? WOOD ELVES?" And what exactly just happened to Gog...

And so the legend goes that one fateful evening, after carrying their friend Shmoo across the dismal plains, he was renamed Warchild. What happened next was a flurry of dark choices. Will Warchild survive? Will our heroes? Only time will tell.

Ahoy! Here we have an episode we crafted deep within the smoldering oven of Brian's living room with great love and farts. This episode our heroes and their new wood elf companions trudge through the ghostly chlorophyllic entrails of what was once Morgatholl, a treat who tried to live forever and instead expanded to the size of a mountain. The elves who once lived inside him no longer seem themsel...

Now that our heroes have their own real estate on the evil island of Amynna, they're packing their bags full of dark weed and heading to the headquarters of the wood elves (WOOD ELVES?) to recruit them in their quest against the Demelith. Will Twee get some NPC's high? Will Tom take a wad of sentient sap to the face? Will Bodhi experience the same cruel fate as another of Brian's characters? Only...