Narcissism Recovery Podcast

Have a listen as I go into some of the painful experiences and recovery from narcissistic abuse.

Contrary to what most believe, narcissistically wounded individuals are able to change. It does require rigorous choice to face one’s truths and wounds that are often denied. Have a listen as I discuss the ways a narcissistically injured individual can change.

- A wounded child is going to have a difficult time developing an individuated sense of self. - An injury to the core self forces the child to develop a maladaptive personality as a way of protecting from further injury and to protect from total annihilation of the self. - Personality disorders in adulthood started in childhood and are a mansifestion of the injured self - Over the years the coping...

- Perfectionism is a fallacy in logic. It concludes that if all flaws are removed and perfection attained then the inner chaos and pain will subside. - It serves as a soothing agent for inner perceived flaws and shame. When perfection is gained it never lasts long creating a lifelong persuit. - Stems from childhood where parents lacked attunement and awareness of child’s developmental stages and t...

Narcissistic parents cannot love their children because they do not love themselves. Children of narcissist will see this lack of love as an indication that they are unlovable. They will scapegoat flaws and differences as cause not realizing that the true cause is the lack of love. Extreme shame specifically around sexuality begins to make one feel inadequate as their specific gender. In “Trauma a...

In order to heal after abuse it is vital that one takes responsibility for the wounds, Personality flaws, brokenness and inner dysfunction as without doing so it will lead to chaos in personal relationship with self and others. Self reflection includes facing one’s shame and guilt as well as developmental traumas that are not healed.

When a child is traumatized they will have extreme emotional reaction. These reactions become overwhelming and will create a distortion of the child’s reality. The Amygdala, the emotional brain, will be on overdrive and since children identify with their emotions they will believe that these feelings are the basis of their reality. This distorted the cognitions of the child making it difficult to...

Smothering happens when a person is controlled, manipulated, or abused most commonly found in victims of narcissistic abuse. Because of its subtle nature of this abuse it may be difficult to identify that it is abuse. It is imperative to heal this wound as with our doing so it can cause unhealthy, codependent and enmeshing dysfunctional relationships later on life.

Narcissistic abuse is often difficult to identify but when does there will an initial shock. This shock will be followed by stages of grief that mirror a death. In reality, coming out of a narcissistically abusive relationship is similar to a death. The loss of one’s innocence, love, time, dreams, and opportunities will need to be grieved properly in order to heal and create a healthier future.

Children will learn in childhood how to see themselves and relate to themselves and others based on how they were treated and perceived by primary caregivers. This becomes a program and an operating system which is the blueprint for how the individual will operate in adulthood effecting virtually every aspect of their lives. If the programming is faulty or abusive then it will lead to breakdowns ,...

When a person is aligned with their authentic self they are at peace. Most mental disease stems from being out of alignment. This is usually because of pressures from parents, family, and society to adopt a false version of themselves in order to fit it and survive. In order to align one must face their painful tiers that they have been avoiding which may include severe abuse that happened at the...

Breakdowns in life which include lost jobs, broken relationships and feeling isolated are all potential opportunities to break through into a higher level of awareness and self love. Victims of sever abuse will often have their faulty childhood programming fall apart feeling out of control and at a loss. When this happens it is an opportunity to awaken to one’s true essence and higher purpose othe...

Narcissistic mothers are extremely smothering. With a weak dad, the son of these mothers will come to enmesh and rely on their mother even into adulthood. With no ability to develop a healthy ego and a sense of self, the suffering male will look for female partners who are similar to their mother and look to take revenge on their female partners for what their mother did to them. To heal from this...

Narcissistic abusers live in this state of denial and project the true and shamed aspects of themselves onto victims. This is done to remove these aspects of themselves by punishing and abusing victims for having these aspects. This defense mechanism is in order to never face reality and truth of their situation which includes a self that has been humiliated, shamed, guilted and abused.

Intellectualization is a Defense Mechanism designed to protect the individual from facing their anxiety, shame, guilt and other painful emotions. The individual uses their intellect to rationalize and avoid any accountability as well as vulnerability. Narcissistic abusers use their intellect to outsmart victims and shame them for knowing less. It is imperative to walk away from these type of preda...

Narcissistic abusers abuse others but they are also abusing themselves. In fact, anything that is done to disrespect, mistreat, berate or humiliate the self is considered self abuse. Many people do this and do not realize they are in fact their own abusers. It is important to identify the enemy within and heal the wounded inner child that presents itself as a malicious and abusive inner critic.

Children of narcissists are pitted against each other in order to maintain control by the narcissistic parent. Siblings will start to compete against each other to get the love from the parent. Because narcissists lack any form of unconditional love, the sibling rivalry is manufactured to maintain control and give the narcissistic abuser narcissistic supply. Decades later siblings may still compet...

The Defense Mechanism of Narcissism is one of a false personality in order to protect from facing one’s inner shame, guilt, feelings of worthlessness that reside in the victims true self. The many abuse tactics are designed to manipulate victims to be a source of supply to soothe their inner shame by having power over and controlling victims. The heavily defended narcissistic abuser is using their...

Religious and Spiritual Narcissists take advantage of victims who are in a low place in their life as well as those who are looking for guidance spiritually in their life. This relates to narcissism because of abusers in this way are able to tap in to their victims vulnerabilities and weaknesses and leave them astray where they are serving as a narcissistic supply for the Narcissistic Abuser. It i...

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Projection is a defense mechanism that is done in order to protect oneself from facing inner feelings that have been deemed unlovable and unacceptable by family, friends, and society. Narcissistic abusers will use this defense mechanism at all times as self reflection and self awareness are severely lacking and therefore will be in desperate need to remove these feelings by projecting them on to f...

Narcissistic Supply is what narcissists’ need to fuel and keep in place their false self and fake world. This can come in many forms and is extracted from unknowing victims in the form of love, money, sex, attention, adoration, and anything that allows for the lie of the false self to be supported and reflected back as real. When the Supply is taken away as in the case of when abusers walk away, t...

When deciding to leave a narcissistic abuser one will need to decide if they can contact their abuser or not. In deciding this it is important to determine how dangerous they are, if they will respect boundaries, and ones ability to maintain optimal health when communicating with the narcissistic abuser. If one needs to communicate with the narcissistic abuser it is important to keep emotions out...

Pathological Envy differs from jealousy and simply envy in that is seeks to destroy others and their accomplishment because of a deep hate for what others have that is not had by those with pathological envy. Narcissistic abusers are riddled with envy and because of deep inner shame and feeling insecure look to devalue and destroy victims who are successful, are happy, and in possession of things...

It is not uncommon that a narcissist will also have borderline personality traits. The personality disorders of NPD and BPD exist on a continuum based on how wounded the individual is and how disconnected they have become from their true self. The Borderline Narcissist will tend to have an inner world that is mostly borderline with extreme emotional dys-regulation which is clingy and with a major...