Naming the Real

In this short, we explore the importance of naming our emotions at a granular level as well as exploring how "negative emotions" may be (1) protecting us while (2) keeping us from what we long for. The more fluency we gain in naming our emotions and how they function to protect but also limit us, the more agency—which expresses itself as choice and freedom—we will have in our lives. 

In this Short, we confront our human and cultural tendency to focus on what we don't have rather than what we do. This pressure keeps us from being here and now, in reality, which is the only place we can experience joy. Through focusing on what we have rather than what we want, we can shift everything about our perspective. As always, we explore tangible practices to catalyze this shift in mindse...

In this Short, we confront the pervasive pressure that the word "should" can exert in our lives. In considering how we  actually change—becoming the people we want to be—"should" has very limited power to transform us at our deepest levels. Instead, we must practice being held, which requires a different energy and orientation to life. As always, we explore practical ways to put such a shift in mi...

This conversation with Daphne Larkin and Dr. Christy Bauman is an exploration of the importance of knowing and telling our hard stories. Through real life-examples, we survey how telling stories creates greater flexibility in our perspective, resilience in our attitudes, and kindness in how we hold our own narratives, as we become empowered to live well. Ultimately, telling hard stories leads us t...

In this Short, we explore a simple two-step practice for seizing the day rather than letting the day seize you. The practice is straightforward: a commitment to spend a few moments in a slow, unhurried posture combined with a consistent engagement of your "grounding story." In this episode, we explain what a grounding story is, how to create one, and how you can use it to pursue freedom and clarit...

In this Naming the Real Short—a bonus episode in our Storytelling Series—we explore the idea of "discharging a loyal soldier," which is releasing a belief/part of us that kept us safe but now keeps us stuck. By thanking the part, releasing the part, and re-assigning the part to a new role, we can transcend the places where we've got mired and move to greater flourishing. 

The person that we are includes many parts, organized around our true Self. But many times we feel stuck, because we believe our most frustrated or seemingly dysfunctional part is our actual identity, or because we don't how to integrate our parts into a greater whole. In this episode, we consider the reality that you aren't crazy for talking to yourself—far from it! That, in fact, dialoguing with...

In this episode—our first Naming the Real SHORT—we explore the two primary ways that Celtic spirituality helps us see the world differently than the way promulgated by Western Imperial Christianity. 

Human beings tend to resist and avoid; it's a default state for us. But resistance and avoidance lock us into a life of gray horizons—on automatic, far from the thrill of fully feeling or fully flourishing. And yet we are never without tools to get us unstuck. In this episode, we explore the incredible power of telling hard stories for reinventing what we see as possible. We dive into some fascina...

Most people feel, to some degree, that they are on trial, that they must prove themselves and "be enough." Some people experience such accusations in the form of an inner critic who torments and even terrorizes. How do we transcend such inner accusation? In this episode, we look at ancient wisdom as well as modern neuroscience—including the research of Jaak Panksepp—to understand how our brains wo...

In this conversation with Dr. Christy Bauman, we explore the wisdom of the womb and the infinite guidance it offers us. In a world where God has largely been conceived of as male, what does it mean to embrace the divine feminine and the wisdom of womanhood? Ultimately, Christy invites us to become those who do not look away—from reality, from life, from suffering— learning instead to become oursel...

Learn to access and express your anger artfully for greater confidence, advocacy and intimacy. Anger is commonly seen as wrong or taboo which can generate shame around it whether you experience it often or not. Anger is a gift that when understood, felt, and integrated can increase flourishing. Register now at https://namingthereal.com/product/the-art-of-anger/ to secure your spot and unlock the p...

We live in a time of crisis, with faith in traditional institutions and power structures falling precipitously, leaving us a dearth of meaningful narratives to which to cling. Many are deconstructing their faith as they find their own spiritual practice hollow. In this conversation with the celebrated spiritual thinker and writer John Philip Newell, new paths forward emerge. Through an exploration...

What we are we talking about when we talk about God? The God image that has dominated Western history is of an "old man in the sky." Even if we know this image is metaphorical and laughable, it nevertheless dominates the Western imagination: God is "up there," transcendent, and we are "down here." In this episode, we discuss why how we talk about God is so important, because it influences how we t...

There is perhaps no experience more visceral and soul-consuming than shame. And shame is opportunistic—it can enter our lives and bodies not only through things we've done, but by things done to us. Further, we can often feel absolutely powerless in the face of shame. But we do not have to resign ourselves to hopelessness. A life of flourishing of freedom is available. It requires courage and prac...

Our culture is in crisis, revealed in skyrocketing rates of anxiety and depression, even (and especially) amongst the most comfortable and well-off. Dr. Anna Lembke, author of  Dopamine Nation , diagnoses our cultural crisis as rooted, in part, in the "druggification" of our society. Specifically, she explains how addiction functions writ large across our culture through an over-abundance of dopam...

In part 2 of a conversation with Dr. Stephen Backhouse, we explore how Christian Nationalism trains people to be anti-Christ. You cannot walk the way of Jesus—the way of non-violence and of caring for your neighbor, let alone your enemy—while abiding by the tenets of nationalism. Understanding these dynamics helps us not only understand our own lives, no matter our orientation to faith, and helps...

In this conversation with Dr. Stephen Backhouse, we explore how the philosophy of 19 th century Danish philosopher Søren Kierkegaard illuminates the dynamics of our own day. Specifically, how the phenomenon of Christian Nationalism—the fusing of Christian spirituality with the lust for power (which ultimately obliterates the former)—seems to recur in some shape or form in every era, and certainly...

We are often tempted to orient our lives around some sort of arrival point—enough money or fame or religion to give us certainty, to give us power, but flourishing life is about learning to live in the surrender of constant tension and balance. In this episode, we explore how balance underlies all of reality and how pursuing balance will lead us into practices that leave us in a state of awe, myst...

In this new series, "Scripture, Science and Spirituality," we will explore what it takes to flourish as human beings in the midst of a culture that is increasingly disconnected and despairing. Using the wisdom of the Judeo-Christian scripture as our guide, we will focus on the nature of desire, what actually satisfies our desire, and the practices it takes to thrive as human beings. In this first...

Season 3 Part II will be dropping soon, with new episodes about spirituality and what it means to be fully human. In the meantime, learn out more about the 12-week Restoried Coaching that is launching in November. This coaching process will cover all the fundamental practices and disciplines of change and transformation and is designed to support you as you create something completely new in your...

In this follow-up to our series on Internal Family Systems, therapist Vanessa Trine takes us deeper into the IFS framework. She unpacks what IFS is as well as how understanding and implementing its core tenets can lead to a much fuller and whole-hearted experience of life—a life of deep meaning, purpose, and connection.

Megan Dietrick (meganraecoaching.com) is a Methodist worship director as well as a coach who helps people recover from religious-based trauma and cultures of fear. In this episode, which hits on a number of ideas previously discussed in this podcast (purity culture, faith deconstruction/reconstruction, a critique of evangelical Christianity), Megan brings a unique, hope-filled voice while not fail...

What if we are mistaken about what other people actually believe? Turns out...that's often the case. In this episode, we explore the reality—and the implications—of collective illusions, which is the social phenomenon of people mis-perceiving what the majority actually thinks or believes. Following the work of Todd Rose and the think tank Populace, we dive into the ominous reality that collective...

Dopamine is the brain's reward chemical, crucial for regulating human motivation, desire, and focus. Yet never in human history have so many dopamine-delivery vehicles (from sugar to social media to online shopping) been so pervasive. We live in a dopamine-glutted world. And the overabundance of dopamine creates continual pitfalls of over-indulgence and addiction all around us. In this episode, we...