Myths Your Teacher Hated Podcast

This week on MYTH, it's a long overdue reunion, tender and tearful.  You'll see that if you want murder done you should probably do it yourself, that Odysseus is very confident in his battle skills, and that Penelope can only take so much before she loses it.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, it's the towering bronze giant standing between you and your Cretan vacation.

This week on MYTH, we'll have tests and omens and portents, oh my.  You'll discover that you can read the future in a bird's dinner, that Odysseus likes to test the people helping him, and that pirates are a real problem.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, be vewy vewy quiet - we'we hunting...evewything.

This week on MYTH, Odysseus is home.  You'll see that Athena is finally ready to come clean, that Odysseus can be shockingly oblivious, and that swineherds are the best people.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you'll discover why you should never be the lookout for a cheating god.

This week on MYTH, Odysseus will finally catch a real break in his attempts to get home.  You'll see that random prophecies are never actually random, that magic sleep is the best sleep, and that Poseidon hates public transit.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you'll learn that it's wrong to throw a baby off a mountain.

This week on MYTH, Odysseus is going to find help in unexpected places.  You'll see that it's a bad idea to creep around a princess, that sometimes hiding is easy, and what to do if someone asks you if you're a god.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, Zeus is going to get freaky with a cow instead of as one.

This week on MYTH, Odysseus is getting wrecked.  You'll see that scarves are the perfect accessory, that leaves make a great bed but not a great outfit, and that Odysseus would kill for a fig leaf.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you'll see why you should never trust infants.

This week on MYTH, it's time for Odysseus to make a final push towards home.  You'll see that Odysseus is a liar, that not all goddesses are jealous, and that rafts can be fancy.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, it doesn't pay to brag about how many kids you have.

This week on MYTH, Telemachus' secret is about to get out.  You'll discover that you really shouldn't blame a slave for what a prince does, that the suitors are really bad at being villains, and that talking in your sleep can be helpful.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you'll see what happens when you piss off a naked Artemis.

This week on MYTH, Telemachus is finally going to catch up on some of what you already know.  You'll see that bulls can agree to be sacrificed, that Helen has a stash of happy drugs, and that everyone likes Odysseus as long as they don't have to be around him.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, it's Europe's origin story.

This week on MYTH, Telemachus is going to be a little bit all over the place.  You'll discover you can be an expert in bird omens, that Penelope is crafty in every sense of the word, and that it's important to know when you're talking to a goddess.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, we'll journey into the distant past to witness the birth of that goddess.

This week on MYTH, it's finally time to meet Odysseus' long-abandoned son and see how things are going back on the home front.  You'll discover that wannabe stepdads are the worst, that absentee fathers make it hard to be well-adjusted, and that Athena is a master of disguise.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you'll see the lengths that some gods will go to in order to thank sexy men the naughty way.

This week on MYTH: beef.  It's what's for dinner.  You'll see that you should really listen to magical warnings, that stealing from gods is a bad idea, and that there's never a good time for a nap.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you'll discover why deadbeat dads and magical horses are a deadly combination.

This week on MYTH, it's a dysfunctional Valentine's Day special for a dysfunctional year.  You'll learn why you should say no to vegetables, what lions are scared of, and how to leave a room with no doors.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you'll see why you should be careful who you marry.

This week on MYTH, we'll try to survive a trio of murderous monsters.  You'll see that Odysseus was a bondage enthusiast, that Odysseus was a music lover, and that Odysseus doesn't always say the right thing.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, it's time for a double helping of sea monster origin story.

This week on MYTH, we're going back into the sunless abyss to meet our heroes.  You'll discover that Heracles can be in two places at once, that you don't have to stop holding a grudge just 'cause you're dead, and that human paradise can be animal hell.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, we'll meet a giant who's mostly famous for being the villain in someone else's story.

This week on MYTH, Odysseus is going to meet a lot of people who are mostly dead.  You'll see that the reception line in hell takes forever, that even dead mothers are good at guilting their children, and that swords work great on ghosts.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you'll learn how to get whatever you want with one simple trick.

This week on MYTH, it's once again time for the annual holiday special!  You'll learn why spiders are good luck, why you should use more cobwebs in your Christmas decorating, and why you should plant a tree in your living room.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you'll want to finish your chores on time so that the Christmas Witch doesn't come for you in your sleep.

This week on MYTH, it's time to drink the night away and then some.  You'll see that some people want to get home more than others, that drinking yourself sick eventually gets old, and that you shouldn't pass out on the roof.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you'll discover the creepy story behind a simple instrument.

This week on MYTH, we'll link back up with Odysseus and his single surviving ship for the next leg of the Odyssey.  You'll see that it's a bad idea to split the party, that pigs make bad soldiers, and that sometimes you have to fight poison with poison.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, we'll meet a deadly viper that survived an encounter with Helen of Troy.

This week on MYTH, we're going to take a break from Odysseus' epic journey into death and destruction for a different tale of death and destruction in our annual Halloween special.  You'll discover that elephants are scarier than you thought, that pumpkins make good but dangerous hiding places, and that stomachs are very dark inside.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you'll see that even the trees can...

This week on MYTH, things are just going to keep getting bloodier and uglier for poor Odysseus and his men.  You'll discover the value of a good night's sleep, the risk of an empty village, and the terror of being cursed by the gods.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, it's a sexy gay love quadrangle that ends badly because it's a Greek tragedy so of course it does.

This week on MYTH, we're going to follow Odysseus as he gets into more trouble.  You'll see that you can't trust Nobody, that sheep rustling is a bad idea, and that taunting cannibals is a worse idea.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you'll see why you should be careful what you wish for.

This week on MYTH, it's an ancient PSA on the dangers of drugs.  You'll learn that you should never overstay your welcome, that you should just say no to the lotus, and that real friends will drag you home no matter what you want.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, we'll dip into the darker side of the god of wine.

This week on MYTH, we're heading back to the shores of defeated Troy for the first story in Odysseus' epic story.  You'll see that no one hates you like family, that wrestling old men is hard, and that you can herd seals.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, we'll learn the gruesome origins of...wine?

This week on MYTH, we'll meet the deadly Chinese cross-dressing warrior.  You'll discover that Mulan was way more of a badass than Disney let on, that you should never rescue a chauvinist, and that bandits make great kings.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, you'll learn why you should never go swimming in the dark.