Myth of Motherhood

We're talking pinterest goals & instagram dreams and how that's never how it shakes down in motherhood. Like everything else in life, adventures in parenting are rarely linear. There are twists and turns, checks and balances, risks and rewards that we are constantly calculating. This week's guest is Erin Pasquet. A NYC based birth and postpartum doula, lactation counselor, childbirth educator and...

There's so much pressure after having a baby to look like you didn't have a baby. Even though you definitely just had a baby. We are supposed to bounce, snap, fit right back into our old jeans and our old lives when everything about us is new. In this week's episode Alissa shares about how we can reframe our experience of taking up more space, being held more fiercely by gravity, and owning our mo...

This week we are talking about identifying our blind spots in life, business, and parenting, how having adult tantrums is just like our kids' tantrums, and how modeling a life of integrity and sustainability doesn't have to be all or nothing. I met today's guest Jenny Jackson who is the founder of Ave-Lumi and a mama on a mission to improve the sustainability of the fashion industry at a launch ev...

There's this assumption that after we give birth, we spontaneously download a complete, updated guide on everything motherhood/parenting/baby. Suddenly everyone asks us to feel our foreheads, what type of jacket we need, and what's for dinner. I don't know about you, but this made me furious. The automatic status of lead or default parent. Like I suddenly knew everything even though we were both n...

Neurodivergent or neurotypical, all children present their own unique challenges. This week's guest Jess Quarello, born in Sweden and raised in North Carolina, talks about the differences and similarities in her two daughters. Her second daughter was born with Down's Syndrome propelled her into a life of advocacy and community. Because we talk about everything here, we discuss social assumptions a...

Picture this: Your dream comes true, you've been chosen to stand center stage for the dance recital. You know all the steps, your costume fits great, you are the shortest kid in class, and now you are exactly where you were born to be. Center stage. After the teacher writes down the formation for next week when inevitably half the class forgets their spots – not you, of course. You turn to your fr...

In this episode Alissa realizes where the source of her feeling responsible for her partner's erections based on Lindey's explanation of how stress accumulates in the pelvic floor. Yea, we are making CONNECTIONS people! We are built to experience cycles. Life cycles, menstrual cycles, and stress cycles. And it's that last one that gets really sticky – see what I did there? Lindsey Vestal is the fo...

As much as we will try to be the generation that does it perfectly, we are all going to f*ck up our kids somehow. I know I'm dedicated to doing it differently than my parents did, but I'm not denying it will happen. And today's podcast guest Susanna Merrick, founder of Aura Wear, agrees. In this episode she shares about her upbringing as the only girl of six children raised in a culty household wi...

We've been playing this pandemic game of life for a while now. And I feel numb inside. I'm hungover and I'm pissed. I'm tired of having the same conversations on repeat. I'm tired of assessing risk. I'm numb from numbing and wondering WTf do we do next? Where do we go from here? In this episode I talk about how all of this relates to my relationship with alcohol and how we are on a break right now...

This keeps coming up and we can't talk about it enough; why do we so often wait until motherhood to find and own our worth? I mean, we know why (hint: all of the systems in place to keep women small and quiet) and still, it is our work now to create new systems for the next generation. And what does that require? It required us to opt out of garbage, reparent ourselves, and own our f*cking worth....

I was 16 the first time I had a teacher talk about transitions. The way that we connect movements, steps, positions are what make dancing dancing and not classroom exercises. The dancing happens in the transitions. In this episode I share a few words of wisdom from my beloved ballet teacher Kat Wildish including, "Transitions are expensive." They're expensive because to have the control, musicalit...

Anyone else get married feeling like check! Did it! Now that that's taken care of, can we carry on? A real air of "my work here is done"? I know I did. In hindsight, I see that is exactly how I entered into my first marriage. We had built the house, moved in, and then never took care of it. Ignored cracks in the walls, peeling paint, a leaking roof, water in the basement, etc. You get the picture....

I love feedback. I love seeing and hearing how I show up in the world. Because I can't see myself. I know what's going on inside me, but have no clue what that looks like in action. In my writing class I told a story about my fears and anxieties before my second wedding and how the stress led to an eye injury that's hilarious. I thought that was the part of the story that was special. But after sh...

We've got our first DAD on the show! Andy Kingman and I talk about the effects of becoming parents on marriage, friendships, and gender roles. I've known Andy since college so having this open conversation felt so good and so safe. He and his wife Amy (one of my best friends) were together for ~10 years before having their daughter. Andy shares on how the relationship capital they had built over t...

There is an old popular legend attributed to the Cherokee or Lenape tribes called "The Story of Two Wolves." Do you know it? Basically A grandfather explains to his young grandson that within us there live two wolves. One is evil. It is anger, aggression, hate, arrogance, and lies. The other is good. It is hope, humility, empathy, generosity, truth, and compassion. These two wolves are constantly...

Ok, you know that if you're in my space, we are going to talk about buttholes at some point, right? Right. If you're new around here, I will talk about my bhole a lot. Because when your butthole has been torn in half and then repaired, it changes you. And when it comes to childbirth SO many people sugar coat thing, or "don't remember," or are afraid to speak openly because they are nervous about w...

When I say boundaries, you say….? For many of us an image of an invisible, electric fence pops up meant to keep some people out and keeps others in. They are rigid and stationary. But the truth is... are you ready for this? Boundaries are actually the #1 way to love and care for yourself and allow others to do the same. Having clear boundaries and communicating them with care sets up everyone for...

Have you ever been in the midst of a long to-do list or a big project, struggling to go on, knowing you have so much to accomplish, but what you really need in that exact moment is a nap? What if you honored that knowing and took the damn nap? I know. Revolutionary. Today's guest Chef Carlas Contrereas has become fierce with her boundaries and honoring her highest priorities since becoming a mothe...

Have you ever been in the midst of a long to-do list or a big project, struggling to go on, knowing you have so much to accomplish, but what you really need in that exact moment is a nap? What if you honored that knowing and took the damn nap? I know. Revolutionary. Today's guest Chef Carlas Contrereas has become fierce with her boundaries and honoring her highest priorities since becoming a mothe...

In our fast paced, modern world it's constantly a race to keep up. It feels like there's never enough of whatever it is we need, and we simply need to keep doing more. I definitely get caught in that rat race. Often. Which is why I'm exploring The Art of Doing Less. This is not an argument to do nothing. It's an invitation to do less. Create space in your life, rest. In this week's episode I talk...

Today's guest Kelly Donahue is a mega badass. She is a surf instructor, life coach, and literally a certified Badass Mom. After having her first daughter, life in the suburbs felt off, so she went on a mission to create joy again. And Voila! Her company Badass Moms was born. Badass Moms is a revolution for type-A overachiever moms ready to prioritize fun again. I actually had the joy and honor of...

This week we dive deep into the meaning of the word myth. How it relates to motherhood, religion, and mythology. And how all of it is kind of really culty. A myth, by definition, is an explanation for something inexplicable or an agreed upon truth to explain something that didn't really happen. It's a lie. And I feel like we were handed a big sack of lies on what motherhood would look like. And wh...

Oooh are you in for a treat! Postpartum doula, childcare provider, improviser, runner, future queer parent, and diet culture dropout Kiki Mikkelsen joins us to talk about caring for others, operating with integrity, tuning out all of the voices around you, listening to your gut, navigating family planning as a queer couple, and throwing out the script and deciding what's best for you. What feels r...

This episode is all about the three things that ACTUALLY prepared me for motherhood. And they're not parenting books. They're not baby books. They're not books at all. They're not birthing or breastfeeding or CPR classes. These three things do not include the "motherly intuition" that is apparently spontaneously downloaded into our brains as our babies exit our bodies. There was no spontaneous dow...