Myopia Movies

Welcome to Myopia Movies, the podcast where we revisit the films of our youth to see if they hold up under the lens of nostalgia—or crumble under the weight of time! This week, we’re plunging headfirst into the campy chaos of 1984’s Ice Pirates. With space herpes, robot pirates, and a desert-dry water crisis, this sci-fi comedy is equal parts swashbuckling adventure and ‘80s absurdity. But does it...

Welcome back to Myopia Movies the show where we boldly go—wait, wrong franchise—where we dive headfirst into the galaxy far, far away! And today, we’re talking about Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back, the movie that taught us three very important lessons: 1) Always check if someone’s your dad before you start a fight, 2) Tauntauns may smell bad, but they’re lifesavers, and 3) Never ki...

This week, in honor of the cold movie month, we hit the slope with James Bond as we dust off the archives and talk For Your Eyes Only! Roger Moore beds a figure skater....classy! How will For Your Eyes Only hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Matt, Daniel, Jon   Directed by John Glen Starring: Roger Moore, Carole Bouquet, Topol, Lynn-Holly Johnson, Julian Glover, Cassandra Harris, Jill Bennett, Michael Goth...

This week on our Cold Movie Month, we climb K2, because it was the style at the time. We watched Vertical Limit! Remember when Chris O'Donnell opened blockbusters? Also, stupid movie, but makes you miss Bill Paxton. How will Vertical Limit hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Nur and Matthew   Directed by Martin Campbell Starring: Scott Glenn, Chris O'Donnell, Bill Paxton, Robin Tunney, Stuart Wilson, Augie...

This week we learn the importance of allowing writers to have alcohol. We watched The Shining, today the line would be "Jimmy Fallon!" We are starting a month of cold movies. How will The Shining hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Matthew and Nur Directed by Stanley Kubrick Starring:Jack Nicholson, Shelley Duvall, Danny Lloyd, Scatman Crothers, Barry Nelson, Philip Stone, Joe Turkel

This week on Myopia Movies, we revisit the best version of Robin Hood since Erroll Flynn, you heard me Crowe, Costner, and Edgerton. Elwes, you're cool. We watched Robin Hood (1973), the originination point for Gen X and Millenial furries.  How will Robin Hood (1973) hold up? Host: Nic (but much younger sounding).  Directed by Wolfgang Reitherman and David Hand Starring: Brian Bedford, Phil Harris...

This week on Myopia Movies, we fall in love again...with Gaston. We watched Beauty and the Beast, a podcast old as time, set in Disney-cember, and wish that the beast turned back (I think this is what Shrek's ending is about.) How will Beauty and the Beast hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Candace, Keiko, Matthew, Alex.   Directed by Gary Trousdale and Kirk Wise Starring Paige O'Hara, Robby Benson, Jesse...

The week in your Disney-cember stocking, we are visiting the movie that ushered in the Disney Renaissance. We watched The Little Mermaid (1989), where hosts don't reprimand their panel.  Does The Little Mermaid (1989) hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Keiko, Candace, Alex   Directed by Ron Clements and John Musker Starring: Jodi Benson, Samuel E. Wright, Rene Auberjonois, Christopher Daniel Barnes, Pat Ca...

This week on Myopia Movies we start our Disney-cember by watching what turned out to be a real argumentative movie. We watched The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, I say you just cut Edmund loose.  How will The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Candace, Nur, Keiko, Alex   Directed by Andrew Adamson Starring: Tilda Swinto...

This week on Myopia Movies, we end Keiko-vember and wish you a Happy Thanksgiving as we visit the MILF market...I mean Mommy Market....MOMMY MARKET....only if they call me daddy....We watched Trading Mom! Did you know that Sissy Spacek had this range? From Workaholic Mom to Circus Mom? How will Trading Mom hold up? Host: Keiko Panel: Alex, Nic, Matt, Daniel Directed by Tia Brelis Starring: Sissy S...

This week on Keiko-vember, we revisit made-for-TV Disney to watch a musical with a stacked cast! We watched Rodgers and Hammerstein's Cinderella (1997), the recordholder for the bestselling video for a made-for-TV movie. How will Rodgers and Hammerstein's Cinderella (1997) hold up? Host: Keiko Panel: Nic, Matt, Alex Directed by Robert Iscove Starring: Brandy Norwood, Bernadette Peters, Veanne Cox,...

This week on Myopia Movies, we learn the value of a good sound system. We continue Keiko-vember by diving into the 90s fever dream that is Kazaam. You know, the movie you might’ve confused with Shazam starring Sinbad—if your childhood wasn't this cool. Kazaam is Shaquille O’Neal’s genie extravaganza, blending hip-hop magic and nonsense.  How will Kazaam hold up? Host: Keiko Panel: Nic, Matthew, Al...

This week on Myopia Movies, we have a cameo appearance from the Pope! We watched Sister Act, the best musical numbers by a nun since Airplane!  How will Sister Act hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Keiko, Nur, Alex   Directed by Emile Ardolino Starring: Whoopi Goldberg, Maggie Smith, Harvey Keitel, Bill Nunn, Mary Wickes, Kathy Najimy, Wendy Makkena

This week on Myopia Movies we retire horror month and retire the new creepy theme as we watch a busty woman and then her busty puppet try to seduce another puppet. This is what my life has become. We watched The Bride of Chucky, the only movie with the hard hitting real deal facts about what happens if you don't do the dishes.  How will The Bride of Chucky hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Keiko and Matth...

This week on Myopia Movies, we pay someone to polish our eyes. We watched Pitch Black, proving that with a few filters even YOU can make a movie!  How will Pitch Black hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Keiko, Matthew, Nur   Directed by David Twohy Starring: Radha Mitchell, Cole Hauser, Vin Diesel, Keith David 

This week on Myopia Movies, the host is a big fat person. We watched Silence of the Lambs and we take a cooking lesson! This may be the most awarded film we have talked about in an episode as long as the movie! How will Silence of the Lambs hold up?  Host: Nic Panel: Alex, Keiko, and Matthew   Director: Jonathan Demme Starring: Jodie Foster, Anthony Hopkins, Scott Glenn, Ted Levine, Anthony Heald,...

This week on Myopia Movies, Eddie Murphy sucks. We watched Vampire in Brooklyn, a terrible portent of things to come...like the Klumps. How will Vampire in Brooklyn hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Alex, Nur, Keiko, Matt Directed by Wes Craven Starring Eddie Murphy, Angela Bassett, Allen Payne, Kadeem Hardison, John Witherspoon

This week on Myopia Movies, we get confused at a werewolf movie! We watched Underworld, a movie I would have forgotten if I didn't just listen to us talk about it!  How will Underworld hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Keiko, Nur, and Matthew Directed by Len Wiseman. Starring: Kate Beckinsale, Scott Speedman, Michael Sheen, Shane Brolly Note: There are some audio issues here, sorry! 

This week on Myopia Movies, we learn a thing or two about Communism. We watched Hail, Caesar, Channing Tatum's musical extravaganza! How will Hail, Caesar hold up during this Coen Month? Host: Nic Panel: Keiko, Matthew, Alex Directed by Joel and Ethan Coen Starring: Josh Brolin, George Clooney, Alden Ehrenreich, Ralph Fiennes, Scarlett Johansson, Tilda Swinton, Channing Tatum, Frances McDormand, J...

This week on Myopia Movies, we watch a midwestern classic, dontcha know. We watched the Coen Brothers coldest movie, Fargo. We did it all for a little bit of money.... How will Fargo hold up? Host: Nic  Panel: Lauren and Daniel   Directed by Joel and Ethan Coen Starring: William H. Macy, Frances McDormand, Steve Buscemi, , Peter Stormare, Harve Presnell, John Carroll Lynch

In honor of its second week on the top of the charts, we are digging out of the vault the original episode on Beetlejuice from the mind of Tim Burton. I have not seen the new one as of writing this, but suffice to say, I am excited. Enjoy this cleaned up bonus episode! How will Beetlejuice and this 10 year old episode hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Daniel, Jon, Emily Steve   Directed by Tim Burton Star...

This week in Myopia Movies, we have a bit of a musical moment! We watched O Brother, Where Art Thou?, I too am a man of constant sorrow, with knees and a lower back of constant sorrow as well.  How does O Brother, Where Art Thou? hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Nur, Matthew, Keiko   Directed by Joel Coen and Ethan Coen Starring: George Clooney, John Turturro, Tim Blake Nelson, John Goodman, Holly Hunter...

In honor of the passing of the late and great James Earl Jones, I have dug out of the old archives the Sandlot and cleaned it up. As our own baseball season is winding down, nice to reminisce about the boys of summer and one of the greatest voices to grace the silver screen.  As an aside, my own voice on this track sounds unrecognizable, yeesh.  How will the Sandlot on this 10 year old episode hol...

This week, we learn the tragedy of high prison recidivism. We watched Raising Arizona, Everybody freeze. Everybody down on the ground! How will Raising Arizona hold up?  Host: Nic Panel: Lauren and Daniel Directed by: Joel and Ethan Coen Starring: Nicolas Cage, Holly Hunter, Trey Wilson, John Goodman, William Forsythe, Sam McMurray, Frances McDormand, Randall 'Tex' Cobb

In honor of the long weekend, we start Coen Brothers month early with The Big Lebowski. This week in Myopia Movies, I nearly have a stroke trying to not quote the entirety of the movie.  How will the The Big Lebowski hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Candace, Keiko, and Matthew    Directors: Joel and Ethan Coen Starring: Jeff Bridges, John Goodman, Julianne Moore, Steve Buscemi, David Huddleston, Philip S...