Myopia Movies

This week the folks from Cineprov cover 1990's Dick Tracy (you can get our Riff on it either with a donation to Cineprov or joining the Myopia Patreon). In the meantime, join us for the only PG rated movie where you can see Madonna completely naked! We watched Dick Tracy, Batman 1989 for babies! Join the Patreon! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks...

This week, we watch Clive Owen once again just miss stardom. We saw King Arthur, who knew history could be this boring... Join the Patreon! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) The Harry Potter series will be completed at the $5 level! For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Brie...

This week on Myopia Movies, we watch a significantly better movie about stopping thieves in a mall than Wonder Woman 1984, we watched buns of steel, I mean Timecop. All Belgians can do the splits, I just choose not to.  Join the Patreon! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) The Harry Potter series will be completed at the $5 level!...

Happy New Year and may 2021 be a great year for you and yours! This week we end the non-Patreon Harry Potter series with Myron of the Atlanta Podcast ( on Twitter @TheATLPodcast ) as Kellie guides us through Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix! You may not like him, Minister, but you can't deny: Dumbledore's got style. Join the Patreon! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we...

This week, Daniel Radcliffe valiantly tries to prevent the Twilight series by attempting to keep alive Cedric Diggory. We watched Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, can someone get a barber to set?  Just wanted to take a moment in this chaotic time of year in a chaotic year to thank you all personally for your support. We at Myopia Movies appreciate your our listeners, or Patreon Members and our...

This week on Myopia Movies, we tell spiders we don't want to tap dance. We watched Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, honestly how can people be in two places at once? Join the Patreon! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing B...

This week on Myopia Movies, Kellie tells us what exactly is the function of a rubber duck? We watched Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, It's not much, but it's home. Join the  Patreon!  There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing B...

Welcome! If you are receiving this on the main feed and are surprised, join the Patreon! A couple months back, we watched Antonio Banderas play an Arab, join with Vikings, to fight monsters! You know it is good when they fire the director of Die Hard and replace him with author Michael Crichton. Woo! If you want to hear more like this, we will keep bringing you the main feed, but there is more on...

This week on Myopia Movies, Kellie takes over the month of December so we can cover to whole Harry Potter Series! This week, we learn we are wizards from a gruff giant, we watched Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone! Alas, earwax. Join the  Patreon!  There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that...

Hello! This is a strange brew situation. This movie has all the fixin's of something we may like, Hugh Jackman, director of the Mummy, and interesting characters, like Abraham Van Helsing and Dracula. Then this movie shits the bed. Similarly, to us. We planned this, there was an issue with recording, so we are giving it away for free, enjoy!   Check out the full version here!  Thanks, Nic  

Happy Thanksgiving, today we celebrate the season and start bawling like a child. We watched Plains, Trains, and Automobiles, man I miss John Candy.  Join the  Patreon!  There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog. For $3: Yo...

You asked for it! The Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home is now on patreon , has been for a while in fact. Soon, we will have Candace on to talk Trek as we do a Star Trek V Commentary. In the mean time, enjoy this sample from Patreon . For the price of a few pay-to-win iPhone game tokens, you can support your friends here!  This month on the Patreon exclusive Myopia Movies episode, we save some whales!...

This week on Myopia Movies, we visit the family friendly side of the military industrial complex with just a dash of brown face. We watched Short Circuit 2, I know Johnny, but are any of us truly alive?  Join the  Patreon!  There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies...

This week on Myopia Movie, we remember a great comedian and get grossed out by his transphobia. We watched Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, knowing his stance on vaccines, the talking ass is appropriate.  Join the  Patreon!  There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and...

This week we round out a month of vampire flicks with the most true attempt to retell the tale, We watched Bram Stoker's Dracula, come for the butthead hair cut, stay for Wynona Rider sucking off Gary Oldman. You heard me.  Join the  Patreon!  There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces...

This week we take a quick sojourn away from our vampire month, to get into the Halloweeny spirit. With only three more days til Halloween, Halloween, Halloween, three more days til Halloween, we visit Silver Shamrock! We watched Halloween 3: Season of the Witch, a doctor's journey with horny alcoholism.  Join the  Patreon!  There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each t...

This week we watch a surprise vampire flick! So many surprises! Quentin Tarantino as a lead actor? Sure! Vampires only in the third act? Why not! Vampire Strip club? Who are you, Blade? We saw From Dusk til Dawn, Okay hard drinkers, let's drink hard. I'm buyin'! Join the Patreon!  There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) For $1: You get...

This week on Myopia Movies, we learn the only music great enough to wake a Vampire is Korn. We watched a nu-metal movie for our nu episode, Queen of the Damned, the disappointing sequel to  Interview with the Vampire .   Join the  Patreon!  There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces th...

This week on Myopia Movies, we see what all the fuss is about! We watched Twilight, our first black and white film.    Join the  Patreon!  There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog. For $3: You get the entire back catalog a...

This spooky month, we are watching only Vampire films starting with this one! This week on Myopia Movies was saw Blade Trinity, a movie so boring we had to watch it twice because everyone fell asleep watching it.    Welcome to Season 7 of Myopia Movies!   Join the  Patreon!  There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) For $1: You get the m...

Hey all! Welcome to episode 250, woooooooooooooooooooooo! woo! According to Chartable, in the past year, we have charted in nearly three dozen countries. According to our downloads, tens of thousands of you are listening. We have a Patreon with patrons. Thanks! To celebrate, we watched Esquire Magazine's 2008 Sexiest Woman Alive eat tuna from a can and lick cream from a Collins glass. We watched C...

This week on Myopia Movies, we celebrate the beginning of Fall the only way we know how, with a festival. We watched Beer Fest, in real life, the Canadians win this....weird. Welcome to Season 7 of Myopia Movies! To start with, we have fully switched over the name, no one needs to defend their past anymore, the world is already too weird. Second, we are returning to weekly! For now just your regul...

This week on Myopia Movies, we learn Christopher Lloyd is as magical as we  all knew he was. We watched Angels in the Outfield (1994), who'd have thought Tony Danza's career only had months left at the time.  Welcome to Season 7 of Myopia Movies! To start with, we have fully switched over the name, no one needs to defend their past anymore, the world is already too weird. Second, we are returning...

This week on Myopia Movies, we learned about the 'suck zone' without fear of reprisal. We watched Twister, in this stormy season, is this too on the nose? Welcome to Season 7 of Myopia Movies! To start with, we have fully switched over the name, no one needs to defend their past anymore, the world is already too weird. Second, we are returning to weekly! For now just your regular weekly episodes,...

This week on Mission Briefing, we thought we were going to watch a crime thriller, whoops. We saw the Thomas Crown Affair! Welcome to Season 7 of Myopia Movies! To start with, we have fully switched over the name, no one needs to defend their past anymore, the world is already too weird. Second, we are returning to weekly!  Also, because you love us, find us everywhere! Like Facebook ! Or the Face...