Morning Entries

Here I relax in my skin and for a moment I live here and let myself unravel what that all feels like. I let the sun dance along my neck and shoulders, and we both laugh aloud to see how long it might take before the red sinks in. No matter—I am here And when I'm here, I’m a writer and a poet and songstress that has no kids. I am thin without trying, and there are no stretch marks on my skin. I spe...

Stench of Me I can sometimes smell a scent of her. I welcome it even. I let it wash over me for just a moment, like an addict pressing their lips to the bottle again. The versions of who I was and wasn’t play out in the cinema behind my eyes. I watch back the years I begged on my knees for better. A better bank account, better clothes, better car, better clients, better home, better relationships,...

Every good thing must come to an end, they say, and I feel the brewing of this season coming to a close. A season others on the outside would call my single years, yet I call my solo journey to self-discovery. A road that not many in my camp of female friends have ventured down, and if they did, many could not make it past the first lonely, steep climbs up those mountains and even steeper, dark va...

Last night you came to me in my dream. I was quite surprised in a way that the mind tries to search for meaning like a grocery store list, each reason collecting another check mark next to the item, knowing that when I get to the bottom there will be nothing left—no explanation to bring me comfort. It felt right and wrong all at once. But it was a dream… Lies would pour from my mouth if I ever att...

If one more person reminds me of my strength I think I will scream out in unadulterated aching shrills until it all pours out of me and topples onto every last one of them. I will muster the last ounces of my strength to vomit the very words they want to pin me to, “Here, here is all my strength”. It seems I was born strong all 10lbs of me landed here in some packaged labeled “strength”. Every mus...

We didn’t share physical things. My precious heirloom only time. 378 days of knowing truth but that truth not bringing us closer in the end. I came in like a savior to close the deal and wrap up loose ends. Represented Hail Marys as the clock of time ticked down on the hands of her life. Possession’s of the flesh being secretly sized up amongst the direct blood line. There I stand in the aftermath...

In my adulthood I collected strangers like a tourist collects seashells on every beach they are lucky enough to step foot on. Searching out all the unique ones along the shoreline, holding out for the sparkling shells that glimmer just right when the sunbeam hits its alabaster insides. Carefully wrapping the shell in a used tshirt so tightly I was sure no damage would ensue on the voyage home. The...

I come from a place where people leave and truth is whatever she decides it to be. From cardboard boxes and new zip codes and numerous first days of school. I come from foreign lands across the Pacific. hazy cities of concrete structures. apartment buildings near the shore and my very first best friend is the kid Orland Navarro who lives Nextdoor. I come from a place where I begged for more - some...

This poetry stared back at me today from atop the shelf of my coffee cart. A remnant of my daughter’s tea consumed earlier this morning. On most days I would quickly scold her about leaving a dirty cup on the shelf but today the unwashed cup was my Muse and welcomed reminder that beauty is indeed not caused or even really created for that matter - but rather it just IS. The beauty falls all around...

Though it fought hard over these last 6 seasons, the decades of age caught up with the fence. Hanging on by one rusted legacy nail a mere wiggle away from letting go and releasing its most decayed board to gravity whom begged for its submission to natural order. I was told the wind came in all of a sudden like some Wizard of Oz hurricane only native Californians could associate wind with. Santa An...