More Morgellons

Crystal proves once and for all she can’t do math in this episode about a 2015 dossier leaked from the CCP about winning World War Three with genetically modified bioweapons. “Good thing I got inoculated in 2020 with the superbug morgellons!” -CC

Crystal is back with part II of a special morgie story. “Like all morgellons stories, it starts in Africa y’all.” -CC

Crystal introduces part one of this two part special about Morgies from San Francisco CA, ground zero for the US outbreak of Morgellons Disease. “Y’all are all my kin.” -CC

Crystal drops in to tell listeners about her new YouTube channel since she has sworn of Twitter. https://youtube.com/channel/UCep4Q2YJk0iwvStl6dCt7CA check it out!

Crystal declares that change is the only constant in a paramahansa-inspired pep talk. She again tries to decipher the diagnostic paradox of the matchbox sign and concludes that psychiatry is a pseudoscience and political tool of oppression. “I’m not an expert y’all, I’m an international sex symbol.” -CC

Crystal’s Election Night commentary with a visit to the comment cave and an update on the UFOs that are Chinese Drones.

Crystal discusses transhumanism with Reverend F.L. Horn. “If I’m not a prime example of advanced post human evolution based on sexiness alone, then I don’t know who is … other than my clones.” -CC

Crystal shares the inconclusive proof that people can arrive at really crazy conclusions when their premises are incoherent and mutually exclusive. “This is the science. It’s nuts.” -CC

Crystal kicks this episode off with a Kansas parody but thankfully does not talk about dust again, instead making her case for her claim that morgies don’t suffer from shared psychotic disorder. “It’s the dust in the wind.” -CC

Crystal discusses capital T truth and the emerging insights provided by her survey of 92 morgellons patients. She keeps threatening to create a temporal geospatial Morgellons outbreak map, but the sound of mind are dubious. “I’ve taken mad science to a whole new level of madness y’all.” -CC

Crystal patiently explains for the thousandth time why phonies who exploit desperate people for personal financial gain should be exposed and then ignored. “Send all cash, money orders and personal checks henceforth to More Morgellons@gmail.com And Cc the Dept. of Beer Money” -CC

Crystal delves deeper into a familiar trope and concludes inconclusively on the etiology of Morgellon’s Disease. Music by The Worms.

Crystal and cohost have a friendly debate on the merits of the morg conspiracy theory of the week.

Crystal assures listeners she’s not nuts while describing the moving, fiber optical hairs that are glowing green and pink and growing from her head, as she is now a reptilian cyborg humanoid. “I prefer the pronoun it.” -CC

Crystal travels back to the year 2007 when the NIH rare disease catalogue included a reference to Morgellons that was subsequently deleted after being made public. “Fishier than a Wuhan wet market y’all!” -CC

Crystal ties two sketchy stories together in an amalgam of truth-like tales and unanswered questions. “Morgs found in Morgues. Duh.” -CC

Crystal challenges the online theory that morgellons is caused by something other than aliens. “It’s clearly aliens (this week) y’all.” -CC

Crystal simultaneously busts myths and spreads misinformation about subjects of which she knows little. “Prove me wrong, I am your rhesus monkey CDC.” -CC

Crystal reveals her “other disease” funnymynn’s syndrome, rants about dogs, and travels back to 2005 when the closure of AFIP was announced. “Your pets are my peeves.” -CC Music performed by the The Worms.

Crystal jumps right into this episode about excess deaths during the pandemic era with a parody song about the covert warfare tactics possibly being carried out by the CCP and its friends. “And on the taxpayer dime?” -CC

Crystal breaks the fourth wall, gets attacked by a pit bull, receives a miracle and loses her driving privileges. “And again I was humbled before I was empowered.” -CC

Crystal waffles on biofilms, adds another tune to an astonishingly large and cringeworthy catalogue of morgellon-inspired musical numbers and invites doubters to, “saddle up, bring your scope, sit down and take a look.”

Crystal goes to the Middle East to visit 21 women misdiagnosed with DP which was described in a poorly conceived observational study from June 2022. “I’m big in Kazakastan y’all.” -CC

Crystal laments the data desert that is Morgellons disease while taking listeners on a guided tour up the scientific stairway to the heaven of most probable, provisional truth. Special cameo appearance of Patient Zero, who happens to be CC’s “second best-looking ex” after Tomfi Tomf Tomf Tomf.

Crystal tells the story of Job, who she claims also had morgs after being subjected to a satanic curse with a dash of toxic desert dust. Almost as incomprehensible as Job’s suffering is Crystal’s foghorn leghorn impersonation in this episode. “Amen.” -CC