Moonies Never Say Die Hard!

Welcome to “A Cowboy Christmas Romance”—exclaimed as the first Lifetime Christmas movie with a sex scene—and wow…it certainly has a cowboy. Cowfolk. On a ranch. With horsies. And maybe a midnight centaur. And do you like Christmas songs? What about just song-songs? THIS MOVIE HAS SO MANY SONGS! It’s as if a Lifetime exec said “We need the ultimate Christmas soundtrack for this Christmas movie, but...

Every December 12th since they were kids, Sarah and her best friend Nick build a "Snow Beau," a snowman that embodies everything Sarah wants in a boyfriend. But this year thanks to a magic hat—we mean scarf—the "Snow Beau" Cole actually comes to life. And he's actually pretty damn awesome. And thankfully wearing pants, so no need for blurring like that original airing of "F...

Love is on the air in “A Christmas Frequency” when radio producer Kenzie—who always wears a “K” necklace lest she forget how to start her signature—tries to set up her recently separated morning show host—Denise Richard’s Dr. Christmas Jones, we mean Brooke—with a series of live broadcast blind dates to lift both her boss’s holiday spirits and the shows plummeting ratings. But then Kenzie meets Be...

Each Christmas Jackie sends a newsletter to apparently every “Earth Dweller” touting her family as the best EVER! with such accomplishments as a pre-teen Harvard student and a husband who gets trophies for kicking pre-teens in the face. And every year newsletter recipient Charlotte wishes she could prove Jackie’s wonderful life is a lie built on clip art and discount dreams. But when an adorable t...

We did it! We made it through the first (admittedly brief) season of "Moonlighting" and what a fun ride it's been! And by "fun ride" we mean last week's episode on a train. Because THIS week's "Moonlighting" is just...wow. So wow. That's not to say it didn't try. It tried to be a Hitchcock thriller. It tried something resembling a narrative. It tried our...

Blue Moon Detective Agency rhyming receptionist Agnes DiPesto takes centerstage—and a nice room with carpeted walls, malfunctioning bed, and a dead body—when she wins a ticket to a famous writer's murder mystery train that runs 24 hours or 6 hours straight due to Amtrak time dilation. But then Maddie and David get stuck onboard, the famous writer proves an infamous ass, and everyone has a moti...

It's 2 am and you're lonely in LA, so it's time to call the Heartbreak Hotline on 1985 AM radio. But do it soon before...aaaaand our host has been shot dead live on the air. In other news, possibly covered in our new favorite fake paper the Los Angeles Tribune, we begin to suspect Maddie has superhuman strength, start to wonder if David is the heir to the Ground Round fortune, and end...

It's got lasers! It's got psychic readings! It's got two scientists struggling to put underwear on a dummy so it can be shot—by lasers! What more could you want from TV? A CEO who pays people to pretend they had sex with him—WHEN NOT DISCUSSING LASERS?! It's got that, too! "This episode has everything" say Kevin and Ces in this very synopsis blurb.  Theme Song: "Aerosol...

It's the second episode, in which a series starts to find its footing but "Moonlighting" can't decide which way to go with David Addison. We also have a special guest appearance by a young Tim Robbins (in the episode, not our podcast, because we have neither the necessary blackmail pull nor time machine) and the greatest hospital chase to ever take place in a middle school. So grab...

On the pilot episode of "Moonies Never Say Die Hard!" hosts Kevin and Ces discuss the pilot episode of "Moonlighting," a remarkable case of narrative symmetry that just goes to show you're in capable hands. You'll also learn about 80s automobiles, 80s computer research, 40s smuggling, and the 80s TV take on what it really meant to be punk. Theme Song: "Aerosol of my Lov...