Money For Couples with Ramit Sethi

Brian is a struggling tech entrepreneur and relies on his wife, Serena, a physician with a stable income of $235,000, to support his family. Serena wants Brian to get a job and admit that his start-up isn’t working. She's extremely focused — perhaps too focused — on buying a house. Brian doesn't like saying “No” to Serena, so he evades questions and promises that everything will change "4-6 months...

Monique expects Pablo to pay for her “as the man” in the relationship. Pablo wants “fairness” in a partner. Last week, I dug into their money psychology. Right at the end of last week’s conversation -- when both were feeling good -- they started discussing an upcoming trip to Mexico City. Suddenly, everything fell apart. All their positive feelings and new skills got thrown to the side, and they w...

Monique is very open with what she wants in a relationship. “I always expected that fairytale love, the guy pays for everything, the guy opens the door, the guy waits to kiss me at the end of the night...” But her boyfriend, Pablo, disagrees. He feels taken advantage of. He shares the story of Monique ordering a $10 soup in a restaurant when he wasn’t even eating, then both of them staring at the...

When Chris shops for food online, he compares the cost of almond milk and strawberries to save a few dollars. He spends hours agonizing over the most economical flight routes. He even stopped and picked up a used stroller from someone’s driveway. Chris and his wife Amy have a net worth of $8 million. Their friends call them cheap. They prefer to identify as "money hackers” and have lots of reasons...

Andy and Kate bring in $200,000 a year and live rent free. Andy feels bad about money every day. His partner, Kate, says she wants to work as a financial team, but she walks on eggshells. Andy wants to make her happy, but he has a poor relationship with money. And that’s not all. Andy has $1.1 million dollars in a trust fund, managed by a financial advisor, and he still has holes in his shoes. I a...

Meet Chuck and Mary. With a household income of $450,000 a year, they’re wealthy, but they’re not living A Rich Life. Mary spends money--in secret -- and feels judged when she makes “frivolous” designer bag purchases. Meanwhile, Chuck feels he can’t invest in a personal trainer.  Their backstory is revealing. Mary grew up in a large family in Argentina where a bottle of Coca-Cola was an indulgence...

A few years ago, Adam spent nine months aggressively paying off $75,000 in debt. He loved it. It gave him a purpose and he was happy to work seven days a week to pay it off quickly. His girlfriend, Elizabeth, has debt, but she isn’t excited by paying it off. Instead, she feels trapped, describing herself as “dumb” with money. (Notice the words she uses to describe herself and her debt: “disgusting...

Laura came to me frustrated about their bathroom. She wants to renovate it, but Greg isn’t interested. In fact, he doesn’t really want to talk about money at all. For Laura and Greg, life is “fine.” They’re running on cruise control, earning a good income, saving a little, and not investing in anything other than a house. But Laura wants more than a “fine” life. When Laura says this out loud, Greg...

Nicole and John have already won the money game. Combined, they bring in $650,000 a year. But it's not an even split. Nicole currently earns $150,000 and would like to leave her stable job to create a startup. John feels this gamble has not been discussed at length. They keep talking about “having the conversation,” but they never do. Both complain that they’re not feeling appreciated. John yearns...

Jacques and Jennifer are stuck in a money rut. They are trapped by their $40,000 debt. Jennifer feels overwhelmed with money talk, and Jaques doesn't want to say no to his wife. When he comes home from work, they’re both tired, so they order takeout, overspend...and repeat the cycle. This isn't a math problem. It runs way deeper into their money identity and sense of self.  Jacques grew up in a po...

Jordan wasn't raised to talk about money. She constantly saw her mom withhold money matters from her dad, and now, history is repeating itself. Jordan has hidden her debt from her husband, Dan, twice. He feels violated. This is not the kind of thing you do when you're saving for a down payment on a house and building a family. He needs the problem not to happen again. Before talking this out with...

Natalia prioritizes experiences over finances. She doesn’t want to miss out on life, so if she wants to visit her family, she doesn’t wait to check their budget -- she gets on a plane. Andres, on the other hand, worries about money. He remembers growing up without money and doesn't want to go back there again. He's pushing to save, invest, and anticipate what's coming around the corner – especiall...

Barry is a first-generation Pakistani immigrant. His wife, Maria, is also Pakistani and was born and raised in the United States. Cultural expectations are making it difficult to get aligned on their joint finances. Barry has grown up living under a set of unwritten cultural rules whereby the son is expected to take care of his parents financially. They’re paying for family dinners and charity don...

Jessica grew up wealthy in New York City. She can't imagine her life anywhere that's not within walking distance to the coffee shop, the best schools, and her parents (who live two blocks away). Her husband, Nathaniel, is building his business and it’s been difficult getting it off the ground. For a while now, Jessica's been absorbing most finances and feels that the situation would improve if Nat...

Sheena has paid off a huge chunk of her student debt. Peter wants to plan a trip to Japan for their 10th anniversary and decorate their apartment, but Sheena’s first reaction is, “How will we afford it?” Money is one of the first things she thinks about. She thinks about it every day, even when buying toothpaste.  Sheena is clearly terrified of money. She can’t even feel proud that last year mid-p...

John has a lot of debt. Wendy knew about the $450k he owed when they started their relationship, over ten years ago, but she only found out what the current number is the day before their call with me – and the number has gone up!  She wants to help him pay it off but he refuses to allow it. John insists that everything is under control, but Wendy doesn’t believe him. He makes a plan, then sets it...

Calvin feels he needs to be the “man of the house” and pay for everything. There’s just one problem: He can’t afford it. Every month he’s in the red, leading him to be anxious around money. Chantha likes to spend money on nice things and feels Calvin is too cheap with his money. The two of them feel stuck because of their different views on money. And, to make things even more complicated, Calvin...

Ashley and Greg have a household income of over $250,000 and a net worth of over one million dollars. They’ve developed a reputation for being cheapskates. Not only do their friends and family say that they’re cheap, but their friends have started avoiding them because of it. We’re about to discover that cheapness and net worth are not correlated whatsoever. There’s more to I Will Teach You to Be...

Alyssa and Ilan have been in a relationship since 2007 and are now married. They both lost their jobs during the pandemic, but acting on their feet, launched a highly successful baklava business which is now paying their income. In theory, Alyssa runs their business day to day, but in practice, Ilan won’t let her. He considers himself an entrepreneur and believes that “Alyssa thinks inside the box...

I’m Ramit Sethi, author of the New York Times bestseller ‘I Will Teach You To Be Rich.’ I’ve always been fascinated with money and psychology. Why do some of us feel so anxious about money? Why do we feel guilty about spending on the things we love?  And how do we handle our finances in a relationship? Most of us have never been taught how to have these conversations so we can get on the same page...