Modern Love

Alexandra Capellini has been on the dating apps for about four years. Dating is already a fraught process, but to top it off, Alexandra has to decide if, when and how she should explain that she wears a prosthetic leg. Today, we listen to Alexandra’s essay about navigating the apps — and realizing that it’s not her responsibility to “make other guys more comfortable with meeting me.” Then, our hos...

Garrett Schlichte was exactly twice the age of his sister. When he was 28 and his sister was 14, she would dish to him on the phone about her teenage love life. But the feelings she was experiencing — like electric attraction and aching jealousy — were unfamiliar to Garrett. When he was a queer, closeted teenager, Garrett turned to romantic comedies to grasp the emotions of a real-life relationshi...

Genevieve Kingston has carried a cardboard box with her throughout her life, filled with gifts for major milestones — childhood birthdays, her first period, graduation. The gifts are from her mother, who died of cancer just before Ms. Kingston’s 12th birthday. In her final days, she prepared postcards for the future and filled the box with her love. In today’s episode, we listen to Ms. Kingston’s...

Three months into the pandemic, Haili Blassingame was crafting an email to her boyfriend of five years, Malcolm, with the subject line “My Terms.” She wanted to break up. Haili had met Malcolm in college. At first she was “giddy about the cute guy with the deep voice who looked like Obama,” she wrote in her Modern Love essay. But as they started dating, she found that their identities were intertw...

Ariel Sabar was visiting his parents in his childhood home in California, when he awoke one morning to high-pitched giggles coming from his parents’ room. He opened the door to a Norman Rockwell-type image: his father, 70, riding his stationary bike in his pajamas; and his 6-year-old son perched on its frame, cheerleading for his grandfather. Ariel was stunned: “As a boy, I’d seen this house as a...

What are your dating non-negotiables? For Hyla Sabesin Finn, it was smoking — or so she thought. Hyla met Larry in college. She was 17; he was a 21-year-old law student, puffing away outside the library. Hyla had been “indoctrinated by parents whose cocktail parties were littered with ‘no smoking’ signs back when smokers still mingled freely in society,” she wrote in her 2005 Modern Love essay. In...

Before Andrew Limbong went off to college, his mother cautioned him about the dire consequences he would face if he hugged a girl. Andrew grew up in a strict Christian household, and his parents are Indonesian immigrants, so they never spoke about sex at home. When Andrew was 20, he met his first girlfriend, Sam. He felt his cultural and parental influences putting “pressure on my blood vessels, n...

We’re back for a whole new season of stories. In today’s premiere, we introduce our new host, Anna Martin, who has a question for listeners: What’s the one song that taught you about love when you were a teenager? We listen to “What Lou Reed Taught Me About Love,” an essay about a young woman’s summer romance with a floppy-haired “rocker kid” and the records they would spin. Then, we hear from Tim...

At age 11, Julissa Arce came to the United States from Mexico on a visa that expired three years later. For more than a decade, she lived as an undocumented immigrant, fearful of revealing her secret to anyone. “Every phone call or email I got from human resources would make my blood run cold,” she wrote in her Modern Love essay. And when it came to love, she would lie to nearly every man she date...

In 2004, the comedian Cameron Esposito sat on the steps of Boston City Hall and watched as some of the first legally married same-sex couples in the United States emerged victoriously as newlyweds. Thirteen years, three boyfriends and 10 girlfriends later, Cameron was ready to marry the woman she assumed she would be with forever. “I expected to perfectly navigate marriage like some sort of lesbia...

“Love life not working out? Health problems? Everything going wrong?” Amisha Patel used to be skeptical of astrological services that offered claims about the future. Her parents, who immigrated to the U.S. from India, would make annual trips back to Gujarat. When they returned to their New Jersey home, they would share predictions from Hindu astrologers about the fates of their children. “I found...

Last spring, Michael McAllister’s inbox started filling up with messages from heartbroken women. “I thought you were the man,” one wrote. “Embarrassing, but I kinda became obsessed with ‘you,’” another said. Michael discovered that his photos were being used to catfish women on dating apps — from Germany to Brazil to Chicago. Today’s story explores a global dating scam (that’s still going on, by t...

Kacey Vu Shap had no desire to return to the Vietnamese orphanage of his youth. As a child, whenever he told people he was adopted, he would say that he came “premade” — that he spontaneously appeared one day at the Baltimore airport, greeted by a new family bearing flowers and kisses. “It was easier to sanitize my story by speaking only of my life as Kacey, who was loved and wanted, than to tell...

Welcome to our season premiere. Seven years into a serious relationship, Jake Maynard got a text from his mother: “Gramma Gert: 3, Jake: 0.” This was her way of telling him that his grandmother, in her 80s, was getting married for the third time, while Jake remained unmarried and childless in his late 20s. His family found this strange. Stranger still, at least in Jake’s view, was his grandmother’...

The Modern Love podcast will be back for a new season on May 12, with new episodes on Wednesdays. We hope you’ll join us!

This episode contains strong language. On the first episode of the new Modern Love podcast, we hear from two women who examine their lives through the contents of their homes — the car in the driveway, the stained teacups, the razor and shaving cream by the sink. Though easy to ignore, these everyday objects often tell a larger story. Featured stories:“Bye Bye ‘Family’ Minivan," Kyrie Robinson“Tra...

Hasan Minhaj ("Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj") reads Brian Goedde's essay about a man investigating his own breakup.

Saoirse Ronan ("Little Women") reads an essay about how a language barrier impacts the relationship between a young woman and an Iraqi doctor. This is an encore presentation.

"Lolita," Vladimir Nabokov’s novel about a man’s sexual obsession with a young girl, is famously controversial. But when Bindu Bansinath started to read it, it unexpectedly became a kind of road map for her, showing her a way out of the situation she was in. Jameela Jamil ("I Weigh") reads her piece.

Living alone can be liberating, maddening, joyful ... lonely.  It also might feel very different today than it did several months ago. This episode features stories from people who live alone, telling us how they are doing right now.

Daisy Edgar-Jones (Hulu's "Normal People") reads Kyleigh Leddy's essay, about the online presence people leave behind.

What if all the conventional wisdom about why you are single is wrong? Laura Prepon ("You And I, As Mothers") reads Sara Eckel's essay.

When you’re in a new relationship, you’re always trying to present your best self. But anyone who’s been in a relationship for awhile knows that you can’t keep the act up forever.  David Finch writes about that in his essay, which is read by Daniel Radcliffe. Daniel stars in the upcoming "Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt" interactive special on Netflix. 

Tan France ("Queer Eye," "Next in Fashion") reads an essay by Evan James, about a man finding his role within his family.