Model Minority Moms

Sometimes it’s easier to let friendships fade away when there’s conflict or just put up with dysfunction without saying anything. It’s easier that way to avoid the drama. And tbh, we almost broke up ourselves–but then we fought to keep us together. It was superrr scary, but we did it. Because…we’re supposed to be a role model to our kids right? And also, we wanted to keep doing the podcast togethe...

By listener request: we tackle two giant elephants that loooove to populate Asian American lives: shame and guilt. Both are seemingly built into many traditional cultures, and we have all been traumatized by these feelings. As adults responsible for creating a healthy emotional environment for our own kids, we discuss why we experience these emotions, the impact on our kids, whether they are valua...

Based on listener feedback, we did it! We wrangled our husbands to be on the show. In this episode, Susan’s husband Marvin reveals what he thinks of the podcast, supporting Susan’s dream to become an artist, and what it’s like to be married to your complete opposite. Meet Marvin: a Canadian- American-Hong Kong-Korean who doesn’t feel like an outsider and loves to mountaineer.

Navigating the emotional rollercoaster and hairy logistics of COVID has taken over our life at times. In this episode, we talk about the challenges of life as a working mom during COVID, how it's different now vs the beginning of the pandemic and what we hope the future will hold.

Whether or not to have a second kid is a looming decision for many of us. The “2 Under 2” plan seems good in theory but a nightmare in practice. Does 1 plus 1 equal 2? 1.5? 11?

Having kids brings a whole slew of questions, stresses, and joys around the end of year holidays. What do you actually believe in (Santa, Jesus, Buddha, any others???) and want to tell your kids? What kind of holiday memories do you want to make with them? How do you handle potentially triggering family gatherings? In this episode, we discuss Susan’s urgent parent dilemma: what do you tell your al...

What do you get your kids, nieces and nephews who might already have a ton of stuff? Are you stressed by everyone else’s Instagram-perfect holiday decorations that appear like magic right after Thanksgiving, when you’re still lying around with your pants unbuttoned? On this episode, we discuss our real thoughts about and experience of the winter holidays, and provide our own survival tips. Hint: a...

Our families of origin are often the source of the deepest love and the deepest hurt. Even in our mid-thirties, we struggle to break the cycle of hurtful interactions with those closest to us. With kids, figuring out some way to do it better seems even more urgent. We're told to set boundaries by our therapists, but how do you do that with an older generation that doesn't know what boundaries mean...

As young girls, we all struggled with body image issues or eating disorders, so how did pregnancy and postpartum affect how we see our physical self? How have conflicting messages about beauty and body image from our Asian elders and the influence of pop culture influenced how our self-confidence? And how can we develop a more grounded sense of our own beauty and pass that on to our mixed-rac...

Hate it or love it, "tiger parenting" has become a byword for Asian-American moms in the last decade. We share our opinions on what we think tiger parenting actually is, and how it differs from other parenting philosophies, like "free-range parenting". We dig into how racial and socio-economic dynamics impact people's perceptions of parenting philosophies, and how we struggle to define what it mea...

Confessional time - we go into the deep recesses of our childhood to evaluate how safe we felt with our parents, and whether we were emotionally attached to our parents in a healthy way. We talk about attachment theory, which says that our childhood relationships with our parents impact our whole lives. Does being poorly attached as a child ourselves doom us to a poor attachment relationship with...

Motherhood can be really hard. Like tired-to-the-bone/cry-in-the-bathroom/scream-into-my-pillow hard. So, why have kids at all? It wasn't our dream-since-forever to have kids, and yet, now that we're moms, we can't imagine not having our children. We share stories about how parenting our kids teaches us to live fully in the present, gives us moments of matchless delight, pushes us to grow, and all...

Fertility can be kind of a paradox - sometimes it seems like getting pregnant is so easy (it even happens by accident!) but sometimes despite our very best efforts, it can take a ton of time, money, and our emotional and physical energy with no guarantee of a baby. With more and more women choosing to delay motherhood to make time for careers and other interests, complex fertility journeys are bec...

Our striving for achievement keeps us functioning most of the time but we've all experienced times when we've approached meltdowns. In this episode, we talk about our breaking points that led us to therapy, the stigma of meds, and the critical role our partners play in our well-being. We share ways we get unstuck, fears of how our kids will perceive our low periods, and ways to befriend the inner...

The obsession about putting our kids in the "right" school so they can have the "best" outcomes can put us in dangerous territory real fast (with a nerve-wracking spreadsheet!). Our immigrant parents wanted better for us so is it wrong to want better for our kids? And what is the end game in all of this? Early childhood education can heavily influence a kid's future so the pressure is on to choose...

Our embarrassing turn-our-cheeks-pink first name snafu and how we landed on our podcast name today.

Cautiously unpacking anti-blackness with our Asian parents, microaggressions we get as Asian women, and remembering the Atlanta Spa Shootings. We're tired of being Othered -- within our families and in the world.

We scream into a pillow about the invisible labor of running the household, the impossible standards of instagram moms, and the confusion of being a good feminist. The social contract of women is messy with a capital M.

Deconstructing our white guy tendencies, hating our hyphenated selves, and taking on the extra labor of raising our kids with complicated identities. Not to mention in-laws. We love our multicultural family, but this shit is hard.

As immigrant kids, we're really triggered by money. TBH, it controls us sometimes. We rethink our relationship with money to add real value, mental sanity, and metaphorical bagel chips to our lives.

Cult leaders and Chinese literary fantasies are no match for the real work (and endearing moments) of long-term partnership.

Kiddo, follow your passion, but don't live in my basement. Figuring out how to teach grit with privilege when our parenting philosophy is light years from where we came from.

The insurmountable envy, loneliness and exhaustion as a newborn parent.

Our deliveries were as different as our personalities: Kate prepared for it like a PSAT National Merit Scholar, Jeanette was on laughing gas, and Susan took selfies with her placenta.