Midlifing

Send us Fan Mail Lee and Simon discuss furniture and curated maximalism (obviously Lee does most of the talking here), and chronic pain. Things covered: the excitement of countdowns, Lee goes to a wine festival, how many Beatles are left, whether the Beatles voted or not, the trailer for Sinners, Hitchcock's "The Birds" (and its soundtrack), spring cleaning, Swedish death cleaning,...

Send us Fan Mail Simon and Lee talk about metaphors and the tragedy of how poetry is taught, before discussing three truisms from Anthony de Mello. Things covered: the bell is tolling, true words said in jest, many a slip between cup and lip, not understanding metaphors, being literal, not liking poetry while really liking poetry, the meaning of poetry, Kae Tempest, Lee having an ugly cry at the t...

Send us Fan Mail Simon and Lee talk about things they love. Things covered: back in Blighty, the nature of home, putting down roots, having multiple passports (Jason Bourne), freedivers, things we love, what Lee is wearing (again), being self-conscious (or not) about the things we wear, being policed and judged, tortilla covered sourdough, Lee loves perfume and smelling good, layering perfumes, cl...

Send us Fan Mail Simon and Lee discuss the way age starts not to manner (as we get older), the absurdity of reducing friction in our lives, and then have a quick conversation about Adolescence.  Things covered: Buona Pasqua, Lee's raw early morning voice, the true reason for buying a house, Lee's Dad's 84th birthday, the cost of a pint of Guiness, the way age starts not to matter, e...

Send us Fan Mail Simon reports in (once again) from Sardegna while attempting to buy a kitchen and the question of consent raises its head again. Lee and Simon also discuss Simon's lack of sartorial elegance.  Things covered: marble floors and empty walls, buying a kitchen, 3D models of kitchens, discounts, putting washing machines in kitchens, boring jobs, sharing news over a negroni, descri...

Send us Fan Mail Simon reports in from Sardegna before Lee and he veer off into talking about what draws us to snake oil.  Things covered: Getting the sound right while recording in a 'cathedral', flight delay, the mundanity of owning a place, Nodi networking function in Alghero, bumping back into Italian, experiences that are both concrete and abstract, dealing with uncertainty, meeting...

Send us Fan Mail Simon and Lee don't talk about Adolescene (yet), spend way too long discussing Reacher (again), before discussing whether we become kinder with age. Things covered: Lee guesses Adolescence, finishing off the Reacher series (and just how bad it is), reading all the Reacher novels, trying to remember Duffy's name from Reacher, the Yankees and the Redsox, Stephen Tin Tin Du...

Send us Fan Mail Simon and Lee talk about the relevance and irrelevance of age as precipitated by a Simple Minds song.  Things covered: Opening a can of beer, being taken out for lunch by a former PhD student, Noble Rot (Lambs Conduit, London), Reacher (the TV show), Anthony Michael Hall (The Breakfast Club), aging and looking aged, Lee and Andrew Child's 'In Too Deep', jumping the...

Send us Fan Mail Simon almost got hit by a hearse and as a consequence Lee and Simon discuss the nature of stress.  Things covered: Taking risks on a bike, where humans feel stress, noticing being stressed, degrees of stress, the difference between stress and anxiety, Simon not having headaches, migraines, difference limens, Simon has a panic attack during an Italian lesson, shame and disappointme...

Send us Fan Mail Lee and Simon talk about things that bother them about themselves and learning to live with them. Things covered: Apple iCloud shared accounts and how shit they are, a ladybird backflip a la Jackie Chan, ladybugs, speaking all Northern, living in Lancaster, Blackpool, depressed British seaside towns, PIGS acronym (Portugal, Italy, Greece, Spain), Bob and Lee's ladybirds exper...

Send us Fan Mail Lee and Simon talk about things in life that are abstract and concrete, some things about Lee's knitting, freedom of thought and action, being happy in difficult times. Things covered: Being homeowners, sliding doors, pocket doors, porta a libero (bifold door), talking about futures (all part of an apartment update), a(nother) knitting update (including the possibility of a k...

Send us Fan Mail Lee and Simon talk about songs that make them dance (or not in Lee's case). Things covered: an Oliver Spencer jacket, body size, Simon's nickname "Snogglegrass", having brothers, David Byrne's American Utopia (by Spike Jonze), I Zimbra by David Byrne, songs that make you dance, songs that make you sing, songs that make you cry, Nina Simone's "Don...

Send us Fan Mail Lee and Simon have a conversation about moral compromises. Things covered: knitting update, Simon's management training (difficult conversations), adult egos, being able to express emotions clearly, being compromised (morally) at work, being party to more privileged information, safe spaces, being responsibility for things that are bigger than me, the compromises of undergrad...

Send us Fan Mail Simon shows up late so Lee bangs on fabulously. But then they talk about how much time we spend in our bodies (versus in our heads) and whether it's possible to spend too much time (in our bodies). Things covered: Lee gets going by himself while waiting for Simon to show up (late), if only dogs could talk, Saturday Night Live, Lee failed to plug in his microphone (up until 06...

Send us Fan Mail Lee and Simon talk about becoming experts (in knitting), reducing screentime and nostalgia for things we have never experienced. Warning: episode includes SPOILERS for the film Conclave. Things covered: Knitting update from Lee, maintaining the intensity of a hobby, well-being and knitting, novices, expertise and thinking, changing sides while teaching a dance class, being the bes...

Send us Fan Mail Lee and Simon go on a typically chaotic ride that is tricky to summarise other than they catch up. Just read below. Things covered: Lee takes up knitting, the latest on Mark Zuckerberg, Badly Drawn Boy's Pissing in the Wind, Lee's knitting sticks, reducing screen time, finding a hobby that isn't reading, Lee's year of not buying anything, Simon's recording...

Send us Fan Mail Lee and Simon continue their conversation with Matthew Onarheim-Smith about his experiences of depression. Apologies for Simon's mic level. Things covered: Agency and depression, ketamine treatment (not officially approved for depression), the patterns of depression, combined with talk therapy, failure, shame and hope, Thich Naht Hahn and hope, out of body experiences, living...

Send us Fan Mail Lee and Simon bring on their first ever (official) guest – Matthew Onarheim-Smith – to talk about his experiences of depression. Apologies for Simon's mic level. Things covered: Introducing Matthew Onarheim-Smith, Quick by Shona McCullagh, annoying songs, driving with Simon, flirting with depression, entering the conversation with a plan of what to discuss, having a relations...

Send us Fan Mail Lee and Simon catch up a bit before Lee discusses having his testicles scanned. Yes. Scanned. Things covered: Waking up from a nap, staying up late, snow on the ground, 2025, Lee has visitors from Alice Springs, the size of Alice Springs, Alice Sings (a choir), Simon spoiling a surprise party, baby in the house, Lee's nextdoor neighbour Jill, time keeps on ticking, Lee has a...

Send us Fan Mail Lee and Simon talk about being sensitive (or not) to others and Lee had a conversation with his Dad about politics (spoiler: changing what we watch and read changes what we think and believe). Things covered: Queen at Live Aid (1985), Lee has been having a lot of fun, Simon is not a big drinker, Simon and Lil's cocktail phase, Gimlets, Lee helping the Portuguese government (n...

Send us Fan Mail Lee and Simon enter the Christmas spirit by discussing fart walking. Simon reads Lee a brief story, they discuss a plan to move things and Lee has an airport encounter. Things covered: Determination to continue, Simon being a Christmas grinch, saying Happy Solstice, putting clothes down in different rooms, Lee in Portugal (hence poppy microphone), fart walking, Bob Whalley's...

Send us Fan Mail Lee and Simon talk about their bodily 'tells' regarding stress, then digress into a conversation about fashion before a surprise guest appearance. Things covered: A bodily tic and noticing habits, lip balm, Jon Kabat-Zinn "we are being breathed", work stress, breath, holding back tears, trait anxiety and recipes for heart attacks, Bob's stressors are diffe...

Send us Fan Mail Lee and Simon start with a bit of follow-up before droping into a conversation about human resources and being in conversations that are not what we think they are. Things covered: Lee sings Simon a song, some follow up re Simon's TikTok job, IBAN numbers, foreign exchange trading, Irene Miller's FX chops, why Irene passed out last week (fanmail from Midlifing's res...

Send us Fan Mail Simon meets up with an old academic friend and it sparks a conversation between Lee and Simon about having a plan B (which might involve collaborating with TikTok). Things covered: Lee's Apple Watch, meeting a proper academic, having a Plan B, going to the cinema, doxing, a letter from TikTok, content moderation, PTSD from content moderation, generating dance content, Lee&apo...

Send us Fan Mail After keeping some content in his pocket for some time Lee springs a question on Simon about touch and fondness. Things covered: Simon being able to move bodies, Lee's content about touch and fondness, Lee's love for Jefrey, consent, touch being less appropriate, because HR, Simon's dance training and making contact with people all the time, newborns who are not hel...