Midlifing

Send us Fan Mail Lee and Simon go on a typically chaotic ride that is tricky to summarise other than they catch up. Just read below. Things covered: Lee takes up knitting, the latest on Mark Zuckerberg, Badly Drawn Boy's Pissing in the Wind, Lee's knitting sticks, reducing screen time, finding a hobby that isn't reading, Lee's year of not buying anything, Simon's recording...

Send us Fan Mail Lee and Simon continue their conversation with Matthew Onarheim-Smith about his experiences of depression. Apologies for Simon's mic level. Things covered: Agency and depression, ketamine treatment (not officially approved for depression), the patterns of depression, combined with talk therapy, failure, shame and hope, Thich Naht Hahn and hope, out of body experiences, living...

Send us Fan Mail Lee and Simon bring on their first ever (official) guest – Matthew Onarheim-Smith – to talk about his experiences of depression. Apologies for Simon's mic level. Things covered: Introducing Matthew Onarheim-Smith, Quick by Shona McCullagh, annoying songs, driving with Simon, flirting with depression, entering the conversation with a plan of what to discuss, having a relations...

Send us Fan Mail Lee and Simon catch up a bit before Lee discusses having his testicles scanned. Yes. Scanned. Things covered: Waking up from a nap, staying up late, snow on the ground, 2025, Lee has visitors from Alice Springs, the size of Alice Springs, Alice Sings (a choir), Simon spoiling a surprise party, baby in the house, Lee's nextdoor neighbour Jill, time keeps on ticking, Lee has a...

Send us Fan Mail Lee and Simon talk about being sensitive (or not) to others and Lee had a conversation with his Dad about politics (spoiler: changing what we watch and read changes what we think and believe). Things covered: Queen at Live Aid (1985), Lee has been having a lot of fun, Simon is not a big drinker, Simon and Lil's cocktail phase, Gimlets, Lee helping the Portuguese government (n...

Send us Fan Mail Lee and Simon enter the Christmas spirit by discussing fart walking. Simon reads Lee a brief story, they discuss a plan to move things and Lee has an airport encounter. Things covered: Determination to continue, Simon being a Christmas grinch, saying Happy Solstice, putting clothes down in different rooms, Lee in Portugal (hence poppy microphone), fart walking, Bob Whalley's...

Send us Fan Mail Lee and Simon talk about their bodily 'tells' regarding stress, then digress into a conversation about fashion before a surprise guest appearance. Things covered: A bodily tic and noticing habits, lip balm, Jon Kabat-Zinn "we are being breathed", work stress, breath, holding back tears, trait anxiety and recipes for heart attacks, Bob's stressors are diffe...

Send us Fan Mail Lee and Simon start with a bit of follow-up before droping into a conversation about human resources and being in conversations that are not what we think they are. Things covered: Lee sings Simon a song, some follow up re Simon's TikTok job, IBAN numbers, foreign exchange trading, Irene Miller's FX chops, why Irene passed out last week (fanmail from Midlifing's res...

Send us Fan Mail Simon meets up with an old academic friend and it sparks a conversation between Lee and Simon about having a plan B (which might involve collaborating with TikTok). Things covered: Lee's Apple Watch, meeting a proper academic, having a Plan B, going to the cinema, doxing, a letter from TikTok, content moderation, PTSD from content moderation, generating dance content, Lee&apo...

Send us Fan Mail After keeping some content in his pocket for some time Lee springs a question on Simon about touch and fondness. Things covered: Simon being able to move bodies, Lee's content about touch and fondness, Lee's love for Jefrey, consent, touch being less appropriate, because HR, Simon's dance training and making contact with people all the time, newborns who are not hel...

Send us Fan Mail In part 2 of a two-parter Simon and Lee carry on (obviously) from last week and get lost (and het up) discussing misogyny. Things covered: voting with our own best interests, the ruling classes, the feminist narrative, misogyny, Bob going shopping for batteries, skin hunger after COVID, getting closer and closer, women and fear, more misogyny, seeing ourselves in other men, rape c...

Send us Fan Mail In part 1 of a two-parter Simon and Lee start off (inevitably) with an apartment update, some elongated preamble, check in post US election, and voting in our own best interests (or not). Things covered: Photoshop vs CAD models, learning 3D modelling, planning a kitchen (again), apartment update, Bob and Lee making a list of all the things they are going to do on their week off, c...

Send us Fan Mail Simon seeks some advice from Lee about keeping things in confidence, and then they talk about what our work colleagues really think of us. Things covered: A messed up beginning riddled with technological issues and two different audio streams, Sennheiser headphones, Sony headphones, photoshopping floor plans (apartment update), Lee's Dad flipping houses, renovations from anot...

Send us Fan Mail Lee and Simon discuss the extent to which identities are tied to work, and some other stuff. Things covered: International Champagne Day (25 October), talking in the third person, Prosecco, Cava, a biscuity Champage, Franciacorta, apartment update (offer accepted), relative cheapness vs eye watering amounts of money, waiting on tenterhooks, needing an Italian bank account, the apa...

Send us Fan Mail Lee and Simon discuss what it is they are most proud of and the capacity to feel as if terrible events are gifts. Things covered: Not having a kitchen, Wolf ovens, removing fitted carpets from a place, Simon being met by a friend at St Pancras, Lee being proud of still being married to Bob, the challenges of a life, having had a difficult week (tummy anxiety), the feeling of under...

Send us Fan Mail Simon seems to be on the verge of buying something big and Lee wades in. Things covered: Catching up after being away and hearing each other's voices, Bob in China, high speed trains to Hong Kong, American and British voices in HK, being a foreigner vs being a tourist, not a lot of love for Keanu Reeves in our listenership, Timothy Chalamet, Tom Holland, being told when we ju...

Send us Fan Mail Simon and Lee call Finn to find out who he likes. Things really go off the rails, and then Lee gets back to his favourite subject: jettisoning friends. Things covered: Lee jettisoning friends (again), update and feedback from newphew Finn re Keanu Reeves, trying to add someone to a FaceTime call, live update from Finn: Paul Mescal and Pedro Pascal, Normal People, Ordinary People,...

Send us Fan Mail Simon and Lee get silly celebrating their 200th episode, and they discuss a translation of a speech by Donald Trump. Things covered: The arbitrary nature of 200 episodes, Lee's soporific tone, falling asleep during meetings, haribot in a mini, just how easy the marshmallow test is (for Simon), Simon's TeeVee snacks adventure (from another episode), brain messages, weeing...

Send us Fan Mail Simon and Lee work through earthquakes, what Lee sleeps in, ghost outfits and life after death. Things they discuss: The dancing scene in Call Me By Your Name, dancing at a wedding, swimming in the early morning, Lee survives an Earthquake in Lisbon (while naked), Bob doesn't even wake up for it, Georges Perec's "Life A User's Manual", the 2011 Christchurc...

Send us Fan Mail Simon and Lee discuss Simon's experience of a root canal. Lee chimes in with buying a car and a bit about optometrists. Things they discuss: Simon having a root canal, dealing with the unknown, teachers (for example) keeping in mind how unfamiliar an experience is and how important that is, getting the giggles while at the dentist, down-dogging to the dentist, Tonya Harding t...

Send us Fan Mail Simon and Lee discuss how Lee's relationship with his parents is changing (or not) and Simon going through his Mother's writing. Things they discuss: Jefrey is inbetween breakfasts, Lee's breakfast, brushing your teeth when you wake up, not talking about the science of brushing your teeth before or after breakfast, bacteria replicating at night in your mouth, water...

Send us Fan Mail Simon and Lee talk about the things they have learned from their enemies. Things they discuss: Mars the planet and who owns Mars the confectionary thing, Lee's newfound love of stickers, Pema Chodron's "Living Beautifully", the people we don't like, Bob interviewing a student who talked about their nemesis, Lee getting the discards, the wisdom of Ru Paul,...

Send us Fan Mail Simon and Lee share a tricky conversation about the politics of representation. Things they discuss: finding the note about the tricky subject, Lee extemporising, representation and optics, box ticking, Bayo Akomolafe and representation on slave ships, Simon's confusion about representation, the end game of the politics of representation, Guild HE report on "Understandin...

Send us Fan Mail Simon and Lee talk about "youngest and smallest" and the long-term effects of this feeling (and other similar feelings). Things they discuss: visual but small, knowing things (or not) in meetings, refiling funding pots, knowing less than other people and what gets said (or not), speaking with confidence and authority, being the youngest and smallest, a curse of humility...

Send us Fan Mail Simon and Lee tier list the shit out of films starring Keanu Reeves. Things they discuss: Dangerous Liasons (including the book), Valmont (L&S got this name wrong), The World According to Garp, Sea of Love and having the hots for Ellen Barkin, slightly dirty (erotic) thrillers, Cruel Intentions, all the Keanu films (can't be bothered listing them all), Interview with the...