Mental Health Decoded with Mordechai

Question 1 – I have been reading the IFS journaling over the past few weeks (Date 2/16/25 program 2 (1297) question 3). The first time I called in, it was very difficult. That same part came up again, and it required a lot of work. I feel like I need quiet and at least two to three hours in order to really do the work properly. Is that normal? Question 2 – I have a question about attachment theory...

Question 1 – If someone is afraid of an authority figure, could that fear stem from a painful attachment relationship earlier in life? Question 2 – How can a person heal attachment wounds? Some people around me say that I may be afraid to go out on my own in business because of attachment-related fears. Question 3 – I have a son who is 13–14 years old and is more sensitive. I have always tried not...

Question 1 – My husband and my mother have a very complicated relationship, and for years they have gone back and forth between speaking and not speaking. I am in therapy and learning not to get involved between them. Recently my mother said she would only try to work things out if there is a mediator. Should I find someone? Question 2 – If a person struggles with bitachon and it may be connected...

Feedback 1 – Regarding the previous program: the listener shared that someone suggested the son should also give back to the mother. She feels it is important to be able to give without expecting anything in return. Question 2 – A listener shared that she is reading her IFS journal and notices that she is having a conversation between her loving part and her macho part. Is this a healthy way to wo...

Question 1 – How should someone make a decision when they have two choices, especially if their rebbe and their therapist disagree? Question 2 – I often hear people speak about going to trauma therapy. Should a person seek out a therapist who specializes specifically in trauma? Question 3 – I have a 15-year-old son who recognizes that he needs help in certain areas, but he refuses to go to therapy...

Question 1: What is the role of a therapist compared to the role of a life coach? Question 2: I have an 11-year-old son who is beginning to develop a mustache. I gave him chizuk. From a practical standpoint, what is the appropriate way to discuss this with him? Question 3: What is MW’s perspective on offering lavish food as a reward for extra learning? Question 4: What is TMS therapy, and is it ef...

Question 1 I have a 20-year-old son who frequently yells at me and tells me that I am not doing a good job as a parent. He often takes on a parental role, speaks to me disrespectfully, and crosses appropriate boundaries. I need this behavior to stop. Is it appropriate to set firm limits, such as telling him that I will not drive him if he continues to act this way? Question 2 I called in last week...

Comment 1: Thank you to the MW radio support group for the support. I feel its one huge support family.  Question 2: I’m in therapy, but feel my therapist doesn’t support my level of Yiddishkeit. What should I do? Question 3: A grieving relative is isolating herself. Should the family encourage engagement or respect her space? We didn’t sit shiva together and still feel the loss. Question 3B: My t...

Question 1:  I run a bookkeeping office and am happy with my employee’s work, but she avoids responsibility and speaks to me as an equal. How do I address this without harming the relationship? Question 2: How does EMDR therapy work? Question 3: People suggest my husband take in a child from an unstable home. What should we consider before committing, especially if I have limited energy? Question...

Question 1A: You often say parents should go to therapy instead of the children—why? Point 1B: Progress matters more than perfection. Point 1C: You can’t force someone into therapy, but your own change can shift the environment. Question 1D: My 9-year-old son is very sensitive. His therapist validates him a lot, but when he gets hurt, he can lose control and hit others. He feels he can hurt others...

Comment 1: I used to use the word “perfect” all the time. I’ve since replaced it with different language because it triggers my struggle with perfectionism. Question 2: For older single bochurim , how can they stay strong and grounded when they feel stuck and unable to move forward in life? Question 3: My sister is very down and spending most of her time in bed. We’ve tried to help her, but nothin...

Feedback 1: I called a few weeks ago about a friend who was constantly complaining and presenting as a victim, possibly within a BPD dynamic. After I set a clear boundary, she turned to a mentor who is now helping her more appropriately, which felt like a healthy shift. Question 2: I have a child with ADHD who is currently doing well. Does a child who is functioning well still need therapy, or is...

Comment 1: Someone called in last week and shared that they couldn’t stop thinking about their therapist. I experienced something similar in the past but felt too ashamed to tell anyone. Hearing her share helped the shame completely fall away for me. Question 2: I was bullied for ten years in school and I am on the autism spectrum. I am currently looking for friends who have also been through stru...

Question 1:  Does a person need therapy in order to truly help themselves? Question 2:  I’m confident and speak up, but after being told I’m intimidating, I pulled back and stopped expressing myself. Since then, I feel lifeless—why? Question 3:  If someone doesn’t want help, is it really impossible to help them—or is there still hope? Question 4:  I’m embarrassed that, despite being successful, I...

Question 1:  Why do some people experience life primarily through their emotional mind rather than their logical mind? What might explain the shift I’ve experienced—from being more emotionally driven in the past to now functioning more from a logical, grounded place? Question 2:  I’m calling for chizuk. In both yeshiva and at home, we’ve seen meaningful positive changes in my son, who needs emotio...

Question 1: My 16-year-old brother is out of yeshiva and currently spending time in a group with other boys. He does not see me as someone who understands him and views me as “too holy.” He is not opening up to me. How can I connect with him? Comment 2: I would like to comment on the previous caller regarding a 16-year-old who is no longer in school. Question 3: How can a person truly live in the...

Question 1: There is a mother who needs to take medication and had refused to do so for a long time. She is now taking medication, but the children feel it is not helping and believe it may need to be changed. Should the children push or pressure their mother to change the medication if she becomes defensive and unwilling to discuss it? Question 2: Children do not realize when they are crossing bo...

Question 1-  If someone experienced trauma in childhood, can ketamine treatment be helpful? Question 2-  My elderly parents were not the best parents when we were growing up, and now my siblings and I are struggling to care for them. It’s emotionally heavy. I’ve spoken with my rov and I know what my responsibilities are and what they are not. How can I cope with the emotional weight of dealing wit...

Feedback 1A: About a year ago, I reached out regarding my fear of starting EMDR, and you encouraged me to allow myself to let go. It have a major impact on me.  Question 1B: Can you help me understand why, after I processed my feelings of anger , now I find myself feeling pain. How does this work?  Question 1C: I feel drawn to explore certain painful parts of my trauma history and the emotions tha...

Question 1: A weekly caller, Aryeh, reached out about a year ago regarding a dog that barked every time it saw him. He shared how much it bothered him that the dog consistently barked at him.  Question 2: Can a person rely on their gut instinct when making major life decisions—such as deciding whether to change a child’s school? If intuition can be trusted, why do people still seek guidance from o...

Question 1: A 15-year-old boy recently climbed a scaffolding, putting himself in a dangerous situation. What awareness should we have about why teenagers engage in risky behavior, and what can adults do when they witness or hear about a teen doing something unsafe? Question 2:  My daughter is in third grade and tends to work at a slower pace. She is usually the last to take out her sefer, and her...

Question 1:  What guidance can you share about managing medication responsibly, and what should individuals and families keep in mind throughout the process? Poem 2: I wrote a poem as an expression of deep appreciation for you and for this program.  Question 3: When someone is manic, how much of what they say reflects their true feelings? I often feel hurt when they express painful or harsh things...

Question 1:  What is the appropriate role of a wife in setting limits at home, and when is it healthy for her to hold her ground rather than “give in”? My husband sometimes uses ice-water as a consequence for the children. Is this considered acceptable, or is it inappropriate? Question 2:  How should parents handle explaining a sibling’s ASD to the other children in the home? For example, when one...

Question 1: My friend is seeing a therapist, and I’m wondering if it’s appropriate that the therapist called people from her résumé to check if a suggested shidduch was right for her. Would that be considered overstepping professional boundaries? Question 2: What’s the difference between Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and narcissism? And how can you deal with someone who is very complicated...

Question 1: There seems to be an attitude that if a rebbi or teacher does something wrong, it’s a big deal — but if the students act out, they’re simply given another chance. How does that make sense? Question 2: Can someone have ADHD even if they don’t struggle with time management or organization? Question 2B: I struggle with word retrieval — I often know what I want to say but can’t find the ri...