Menfolk Journeys

Don't we all have our own, uniquely lived experience in living? Aren't our thoughts our own? Can't two people experience the same moment differently, based on who they are, and their own backgrounds and other, past experiences? This is a frank, honest, real yik-yak between two guys, one of whom shares stories and lessons from his own Black experience. Which is a different experience...

The latin term Vagari is a verb meaning "to roam" or "to wander." And while it's a cliche to say that not all who wander are lost, Vagari is the root for the noun "Vagabond." For most folks, that's a negative connotation. For Tommy, being a vagabond taught him a new way to live, a different way to apply the laws of human currency and interaction. Do I give t...

How often are you present in your situation? When do you start really paying attention, and learning how to learn? You don't have to have a lot of lived experience to begin good habits. My guest William started thinking about building his habits of how to learn in his early teens, and by building that habit, he's been able to launch his young adulthood successfully...in an unforgiving an...

Perhaps adversity is what makes us who we are. Perhaps we're better for having to overcome difficulties. Perhaps the small decisions and choices we make - every day - define who we become as a man. This conversation is with a man who has decided that, despite any heartaches, illness, and the myriad of challenges we all face, he will wake up each day with a purposeful and hopeful countenance....

In what is and will become an annual tradition, we hear from different men about the lessons they learned from their fathers. Lessons of action, of words, of what was done, or what was not done. What are lessons you've learned? What lessons are you passing on? If you have children, are you dropping pearls for them to learn from? If you don't have children, are you leaving a legacy or men...

What is your appetite for risk? Some men have a life where they seek out new adventures, explore strange new worlds, and boldly go into their futures. And for someone like Brian, it's been how he's lived his whole life. And if you're like that, what do you show your children as a lifestyle to live? And if you have boys, what does it teach them about courage, risk-taking, and a persp...

Who is your tribe? Do you have a large family, or a community that surrounds you, supports you, and perhaps binds you? Are you born into a community, or do you make one for yourself? This conversation with Doug is about the magnetic draw of Community, and the beauty and challenge that comes with it.  What if you think differently than your community?  How do you frame your life individually when y...

"Just be yourself. Everyone else is already taken." - Oscar Wilde Sometimes we lack the courage to really listen to the person you are, or sometimes we might hear, but don't understand what we're telling ourselves. Sometimes we need to give ourselves permission to become the person we were always meant to be. My friend Lucio has had a remarkable, successful life...and it unfold...

When do you make the choice to not become your dad? We all think about how we were raised, especially when we have our own children. And, we all think about what we want to do that worked in our past, and what not to do. My friend Michael had to navigate his father’s moods, and tried to make sure that his sons wouldn’t have to experience that kind of growing-up. But we all fail sometimes; and some...

How do you know when you have to change your life? When you grow up in an all-encompassing and all-consuming world but then find that you need to live in another world to be your most authentic self, how do you find the strength to do that? Is it a survival instinct?  My friend Zack grew up in an evangelical Christian home where he had to teach himself to read and live in a world-view that was ver...

Do we ever stop learning from our parents? Even at 70, my friend Cass thinks about his dad, and what kinds of lessons he’s passed on. Maybe the folklore of our parents never leave us. Maybe there are ideas and value that persist and live through us the whole of our lives. And what does that say about how we grow into our own manhood? It could be that our version can sometimes be a continuation of...

Is your responsibility to give and pass on in proportion to what you've been given? If you have been blessed with a head start and a safety net to fall into as a just-in-case, what do you do with that?  My guest David spent that first part of his launching getting deep learning. He challenged himself with an outstanding, elite, and mutli-faceted education. And from that, he spun out a marvelo...

Have you wandered? And if you did, did you get back home or to your own “North Star’? I think the Homeric epic The Odyssey continues to be compelling, especially for menfolk, even after 2,700 years. The story of trying to get back home, but being detained, waylaid, having adventures, learning, and generally exploring various ways of living while maintaining a “North Star” is an apt metaphor. We ca...

The origin of the word “serendipity” is suggested to have from a 1754 fairy tale titled The Three Princes of Serendip, by Horace Walpole. In the story, the heroes ‘were always making discoveries, by accidents and sagacity, of things they were not in quest of’. Some folks think that having a life of unexpected - but sought for - blessings come from a divine higher power, or that in some ways the Un...

How do we gain confidence? Where does a sense of full possession, of being comfortable with who you are, come from? Does it ever leave? Or, once you possess yourself, can you hold fast to that belief that you are everything you need to be?  Having that confidence in yourself is an enviable trait...and can give a man a swagger about themselves. But what if that man is your own father? How does that...

When we are growing up, do we know we're missing some vital things in life? And when we grow up, do we try to reclaim the stuff we felt we missed? My guest did, and does. He recognized some things in his life that he wanted to reclaim, and set out on an independent, fearless course to do that in his adulthood. This is a conversation about how to embrace what failure can do for us, creating a...

When we discover our true, authentic selves, it's usually in childhood. Let's say we're about 5 or 6 years old, and we're aware enough of people, we're beginning to form our own identity, but we're not saddled with the expectations from friends or parents, or bounded by societal norms. Sometimes, we keep to that core self, but more often, boys and men are careened off...

What guidance do you have in charting the course of your life? What kind of convention, pillars, framework, or set of rules do you abide by? When beginning an adulthood, many men get lost. So many find that the paths are too winding, open, and there are no clear stepping stones or guardrails to help guide a life. My friend Tim recognized that there could be fundamentals of living a life that set h...

This is a MONSTER episode.  How do you go from a completely chaotic childhood filled with abuse and mixed families, push through a confusing adulthood of service and religion, and find yourself with a 30+ year marriage, a bevy of beautiful children, and a path towards continual learning? How can you do that, unless you are indomitable, unbreakable, and made of Titanium? This story is one that need...

What does it mean to combine a profession and a purpose? Who among us are working towards meaning with how they make a living? This story is about a man who learned through his own patterns that meaning and purpose in everyday activity is what he was meant to do. The people he has met and the opportunities that have unfolded all lead him on a path of purpose and to a place where his livelihood and...

Is pride and love for our children unconditional?  Do we - at our core, as parents - want our children to be happy and proud of their most authentic selves? We know that over the entire history of human culture, from Gallelio to the Suffragettes to Martin Luther King, Jr., people have changed social norms.  So why wouldn't social norms about gender, roles, expectations, and how some people se...

Happy Father's Day! This episode is a tribute from menfolk of all backgrounds telling stories about their pops. Stories of great moments, times we saw them at work, the lessons learned, and how they made memories that lasted our whole lives. From Chuckles the porpoise, to watching pop do plumbing, to cleaning beakers for 50p, skiing, chess, road trips, and not ever learning to swing a hammer,...

What does it mean to live a life of purpose and faith in the real world of commerce and community? Every man's faith journey is unique, and some have a journey that aligns all the elements of Religion, Church, and personal belief.  In the backdrop of an upbringing in a crowded house in San Francisco, John grew up with six siblings, a WWII hero cop father, and a mother who was the glue of the...

When you are shocked into Manhood, sometimes the only way forward is to do what you love. And by pursuing a passion, you might end up taking care of everything else. Usually, if you love what you do, you'll be good at it. And, if you bring that passion into everything you do, then usually you end up being a successful person. Because what matters is not what measures other people put on you,...

Growing up in California in the 50s and 60s gave to the lucky ones a blessed and idyllic start in life. Sunshine, prosperity, optimism, and the chance to play in a place that seemed to offer everything. What does that upbringing do to your state of being? How do you view the unfolding of a life when its beginnings are so comfortable and positive? This is a story about how a man allowed his life to...