Megan's Megacan

Konrad has been to Hessen to see what's going on with the investigations into two of the more famous far-right crimes that Germany has witnessed in the last few years. Which was obviously delightful. And it's been raining. There's only one thing for it – lemonade and whisky.

As omicron makes its rounds through Berlin schools, things just keep on happening in German politics. It's relentless. This week, the Greens pick new leaders so that Annalena Baerbock and Robert Habeck can go to Moscow and Munchen and try to prevent war and climate disaster – and Habeck can change his mind about vaccine patents. Lemon and Lime Time!

A new year, a new government, a new start – The Megacanners are boostered and/or recovered, and ready to analyze the shit out of German politics in the year 2022. Also, finally someone explains what the Bundesrat is for, and then there's the parlous state of Germany's sausage situation. … Mahlzeit!

After sixteen years of mindlessly accepting the dead politics of Angela Merkel and the CDU, Germany was shifted into modern life by the traffic light coalition. Konrad and Megan smash through the coalition contract, which lays down the bare foundations of a 21st century country. But let's see what happens now. Also, Megan takes a sugary hit of nostalgia with some Southern Comfort. Ahoy!

Megan's back! She has brought megacans and is expecting some new news. Unfortunately, this is a podcast about German politics. So it's mainly coronavirus and Nazis after all. And can Konrad explain what overhang mandates are? Also, it's dark outside so we're allowed Stollen. Yes!

There was an election in Germany a week ago – listen with tenterhooks sharpened to whether Megan and Konrad can remember much about it. Is Germany about to be ruled by its most feared authority – the traffic light? Is Franziska Giffey gonna ignore the million people who voted to socialize housing? And why do younguns love the FDP so much? So many questions, only one megacan to help us through. Cra...

On this week's show, Megan and Konrad get the bejeezus scared out of them by climate activist Izzy Choksey. The major German parties have given up on avoiding ecological catastrophe, so either vote for the nerds who've done the homework, or hope you're not gonna live to see 2040. Luckily we have weird fizzy Green Botanical Rum to hand, because despair is never the answer. Onward!

This is a cracker, a flippin corker, of a Megacan. There's a Nazi trial in the city of Chemnitz, a special countdown of the five worst policies of each of the big political parties, and Megan describes in extraordinary detail maybe the worst drink she has ever had in her life. Can Life Get Any Better?

Who are Germany's newest political party? Konrad spends a week with the Querdenker-adjacent die Basis, remains unbrainwashed, and then meets two Afghans who helped the German army, but didn't get much help back. Megan, meanwhile, has picked up a stat about the megacan beverage industry. Now, a spot of Bombay Bramble, sir?

Megan's back. Her hollybags over, Megan is forced to return to the turgid pool of venality and cynicism that is the German news. There's the miserable retreat from Afghanistan, sycophancy to billionaires in Brandenburg, and the latest election stats. Pina Coladas all round!

On this week's show, Konrad talks about bribery at one of Germany's biggest companies, before Basti explains how exactly he would like to carry out punishment on Armin Laschet for laughing in a disaster zone. In between, there is some musing on the great teachings of life. Prost!

Megan's on holiday, which means Basti Knight, top chef at the Crazy Bastard Kitchen, has been drafted in to offer his unique take on the German news – on this week's show, Konrad is down as Germany's election campaign is sidetracked into inane bollocks. This prompts Basti to ask some existential questions. Cheers!

It's Megan's last podcast before her summer holiday, so what better send-off than an account of a new Nazi trial in Frankfurt, more stuff about Nazi prepper networks, and the Verfassungsschutz catching up to the concept of the New Right. So much fun. Still, there was some good news at the Euros. And it's the weekend!

Megan is in a good mood because three nice things happened to her on the same day, but Konrad is on hand to ruin the good vibes with some News. There's an election in Saxony-Anhalt to catch up on, some chat about why East German kids still feel East German, and Health Minister Jens Spahn does the cuntiest thing he's ever done.

The summer has slapped us in the face like a big sunflower of joy, the birds are singing, sensibly-tested Berliners have returned to their favourite dingy bars, and school children are doing wholesome teutonic end-of-term hikes in the forest. Meanwhile ministers can't remember if they copied their PhDs or not, and there's an election in Saxony-Anhalt to look forward to. Now all you have to do is g...

Dieselgate, Wirecard, Heckler & Koch - Germany has one of the weakest whistleblower protection laws in the developed world – but not for long, thanks to campaigners like Veronika Nad. Veronika comes on the show to explain why the German government is slowing everything down - again - and what it's like trying to get the European Union to listen to you.  PS: Also, there's a small correctio...

For the first time in over a year, the megacanners have a guest! Fresh from a vaccine jab and a nasal swab, the Wandering Barman himself Chris Davis joins Megan and Konrad for a Gentleman Jack and Coke – truly, the Burger King of cocktails. Chris explains what it was like for performing artists facing an existential crisis during a pandemic, Megan explains why Merkel is wrong about vaccine waivers...

This week, Germany's party of stability and continuity finally ends three years of in-fighting by picking a chancellor candidate no one likes, while the Greens keep cool and pick Annalena Baerbock. Plus Merkel has to defend lobbying in China for a bunch of criminal fraudsters. Megan and Konrad drink some Johnnie and Ginger. "Es geht alles schief!"

This week, finally some justice for Berlin's oppressed landlords, as the constitutional court reins in the unfettered greed of tenants who won't give them their last fucking tin of beans. Meanwhile, two leaders bash the hell out of each other as conservative politicians prove once again how mature they are, and Merkel takes over the country while everyone's distracted by the shit show in her party...

Another week, another week of vaccine chaos and COVID dread. Only this time it's Easter week, so at least there's chocolate animals. So many questions: Why didn't Megan get inoculated after all? Is German society ready to accept Syrian refugees in the Bundestag? And is Horst Seehofer ready to grow up? It's Johnnie Walker Red all round! Drink up!

Another week of vaccine failure and lockdown fatigue? Not on this show! Not when there's a ship stuck in a canal. This week, the Megacanners veer off course thanks to the sudden gust of wind of more interesting and tangible news elsewhere. Konrad gets to talk about his cargo ship adventures, Megan gets to have a jab, Merkel does a u-turn, and we all get to appreciate Tempelhof Airport. Thanks for...

Germany's 2021 election orgy has started with some tender caressing for the Greens and the SPD. The CDU and the AfD, meanwhile, must search their blackened souls to find favour with voters. Then Megan and Konrad ask what happened to all those far-right extremists in the military - they've probably all been tracked down and sent to prison by now - Hurrah! Everything will be fine again now.

Some CDU politicians have got caught making extra money off the pandemic, prompting criticism from other CDU politicians who used to make extra money off arms companies. Meanwhile, it turns out that Julian Reichelt, AKA the tumor on the colon of the gutter press, is in fact a big bully. Time for some bourbon and coke - but press your thumbs for Megan's black belt in speaking German.

Germany's many governments have come up with a five-point plan for the loosening of coronavirus rules. It means we can start having pedicures before heading to the garden centre to pick up those blooming crocus bulbs. But why is Germany so bad at vaccinating people? And how come the AfD won a day in court? And there's a chat about gin. Make it happen!

Berlin's rent cap is a year old, so has it worked? Megan and Konrad apply their usual laser-like statistical analysis to the property market data, forensically dissecting the complex legal situation. Meanwhile a Nazi concentration camp guard has been flown from the US to Germany, but is not going to be prosecuted, and Konrad drinks a Johnnie Walker for main and a Jack Daniels for afters. It's DAS...