Maximize Your Influence

It is human nature to mirror and match, or to "synchronize" with, the people we connect with.28 We don't even think about it. It happens so quickly and so subconsciously that without a replay, one is unlikely to even notice it.29 What if you were aware of it? Could it be used to help you be even more persuasive? Research says definitely yes. When you mirror your audience, you build rapport with th...

If all my talents and powers were to be taken from me by some inscrutable Providence, and I had my choice of keeping but one, I would unhesitatingly ask to be allowed to keep the power of speaking, for through it I would quickly recover all the rest.                                                                            —Daniel Webster Have you happened to notice the dramatic changes that have...

Capturing Attention Immediately What can you do in the first thirty seconds of your encounter to capture your audience's attention? Can you prove to them that you are worth listening to? Think about this: Every time you communicate with someone, they are paying with either time or money. Your audience is rooting for you; they want you to succeed. They don't want their time or money wasted any more...

After discussing a few recent business trips, and of course, the food they ate on those trips, Kurt and Steve discuss a classic blunder: overuse of fear.  Fear is a useful tactic when persuading others.  It is very short term, however.  Kurt and Steve review some techniques to use fear effectively.  Steve then interviews Kim Ades of Frame of Mind Coaching.  Kim's company is designed specifically t...

You can use conversational skills as a tool with which to build new connections, while avoiding awkward pauses and uncomfortable conversations. After all, making a good first impression is all about making others feel good when spending time with each of you. Great conversationalists are made, not born. The following tips will help you make a positive impression every time: Don't rush through conv...

  Have you ever felt like you put in a bunch of work only to pave the way for your competitor?  Many persuaders inadvertently do this only to find out too late that they lost the deal.  The key to avoiding this is generating genuine scarcity.  To create genuine scarcity, make sure you have as much of the following in place: 1.  Deadlines. Give your prospects a deadline or a point of no return. We...

What is your message? What do you have to share that will make a difference in people's lives? What is your main objective, the key thing you hope to accomplish? You've got to understand the big picture. Then, with the big picture in mind, you have to get more specific. Do you have a clear vision of how your product, service, or idea will help your audience? You've got to know your product inside...

When Steve asked Kurt how he was doing before the show started, he did not expect that Kurt would tell him that he just got done dealing with a bear in his backyard.  Well, he didn't deal with it...animal control did.  But we're proud that Kurt didn't scream like a little girl when it happened!  Here's a picture: Kurt and Steve also give some sound advice that was once also given by the leading sa...

Let's talk a bit about deception.  I don't need to say it here, but I will.  Deception is wrong and does trigger incongruence.  On the flip the side the challenge you could have is that when you get nervous or uneasy you might be showing signs or deception.  What I am saying here is that even if you are telling the truth and think you are congruent, you might be sending signals of incongruency and...

It's the 4th of July, so Kurt and Steve did what they do best: took their boats out and bbq'd!  Back by popular demand, however, is the episode they did on Charismatic Power.  Check it out!

  "He kept his promises." Promises made during the persuasion process are fulfilled. Persuaders are honest and realistic in what they promise—they don't build false hopes or expectations. They "underpromise and overdeliver"—not the other way around! "She's really dependable." Successful persuaders proactively give their audience the attention they deserve, doing everything in their power to resolv...

You know we love talking about "Negotiaton's Dirty Deeds."  A recent article by the Harvard Business Review gave some great pointers on deflecting some of the more common negotiation tactics.   One of the best ways to insure a smooth transaction is through managing your clients expectations correctly.  Persuaders are most effective when they're persuading, not when they're stuck resolving client q...

Francis Bacon once said, "Knowledge itself is power." Knowledge power is based on proficiency in a certain subject, procedure, or situation. Remember that you are the expert. People can be persuaded if they think you have more knowledge or expertise than they do. For example, lawyers, mechanics, and doctors possess knowledge power. People rely on these professionals' opinions, believe what they sa...

On this episode, Kurt and Steve interview Wes Schaeffer, the Sales Whisperer! There are ways to start implementing empathy in your daily contacts and conversations.  It does take some practice and evaluation.  After every encounter ask yourself what do you do well and what can you do better next time.  Try these steps to increase your empathy. •           Mentally prepare yourself to hear the mess...

Happy Memorial Day!,  If you're not in the US, we hope you had a great Monday, May 30! If you have a tough negotiation coming up where your opponent will play the empathy card, we have good news. Acetaminophen can dull your sense of empathy! So next time you need to negotiate, pop some tylenol and turn yourself into a cold blooded shark of a negotiator.   How Moods Can Affect Persuasion Moods affe...

Did you know that if you think about what you ate earlier in the day, you're proven to snack less?  Kurt and Steve discuss a recent article by Psychology Today that studies this phenomenon.   Size of packaging, color, position...all of these things subconsciously influence what your prospect buys...and how much they buy.  On this episode, Kurt and Steve discuss some recent books and studies that d...

Kurt and Steve begin this episode by discussing how in anything we do, we default down to the level of our training.  Whether it's a sport, self defense, language, or persuasion...the mind and body default to what their trained to do when they are stressed.  Bottom line is when you need to persuade it's too late to learn!  Go to www.university ofpersuasion.com for some awesome ways you can train t...

An interesting study was conducted with dentists, whereby an ad was put in the newspaper asking for people to participate in a painful dental procedure.11 The first amazing thing about it was that people actually showed up. During the first part of the study, the dentists were told that they would only pretend to use a painkiller on their patients. A placebo would actually be given. The dentists w...

How do you overcome this lack of credibility? Here are several ideas great persuaders use to boost their credibility:               1. In this very skeptical world your prospect is looking for a weakness. If you don't give them some type of weakness (personal or product), they will assign a weakness for you. Great persuaders increase credibility by revealing an apparent weakness and turning that p...

One of the key ways to keep your competency on track is to be a lifetime learner. We consider others to be competent when we see them continually learning and advancing their training and education. I can remember going to buy computer products and discovering that I knew more about the product than the sales reps did (and I didn't know much). In an attempt to cover up their lack of knowledge, the...

After briefly mentioning it on last week's episode, Kurt and Steve quickly learned that most have a lot of "feelings about" the urban phenomena, RBF (otherwise known as Resting Bitch Face).  So they dived in a little more and wouldn't you know it...there's an actual website that will tell you if you have it!  All we ask is that if you do, you send us your picture to maximizeyourinfluence@gmail.com...

The worst thing for a persuader is that your audience members probably won’t ever confront you about your dishonesty or deception. They are not going to tell you that they think you are lying. They’ll just never work with you again and they’ll then tell all their family and friends about the bad experience they had with you behind your back.   Even if you’re an honest person of admirable character...

self-perception bias Ever wonder why others can’t smell their own stink? (perfume or body order)  We are good at judging others and finding out what is wrong with them, but that analysis does not seem to work on ourselves.  The same is true for our skills.  We have to have the ability to honestly access ourselves – both our strengths and weaknesses.  Then find the skills and the discipline to impr...

Keeping Attention:   A Bored Mind Says NO! It is common sense to realize you have to keep your audience's attention in order to persuade them.  If you lose them, you lose your chance for them to understand and accept your proposal.  We know from our own personal experience that we tend to let our minds naturally drift when we are listening to other people.  We cannot focus on one item for too long...

The old-school approach to persuasion put a lot of the emphasis on the final outcome: clinching the deal, closing the sale. Back then, it was a lot more about getting the sale than having a true and lasting relationship with an actual person. The problem with being so closing-oriented is that a persuasive encounter is not a static, one-sided arrangement. The “persuadee” is not some brainless lump...