Mary Versus the Movies

Our friend Jen has brought us a semi-forgotten Rankin-Bass Halloween movie that features racially-tinged zombies, sexual harrassment, and a bad Jimmy Stewart impression. Maybe there's a reason this doesn't often show up on TV.  Starring Boris Karloff, Phyllis Diller, Allen Swift, and Gale Garnette. Written by Arthur Rankin Jr., Len Korobkin and Harvey Kurtzman. Directed by Jules Bass.

Rick Springfield is a vampire detective in Los Angeles hunting a serial killer. What more do you need? This failed tv pilot went on to become the cable series  Forever Knight , which is shockingly not another D.C. Batman series. We welcome back Alana Phelan to the show, having brought us this wonderful little paranormal piece of junk. Check out Alana's work at https://polyamorouslibrarian.wordpres...

An L.A. private eye investigating the murder of a local businessman uncovers a corrupt world of sex, money, and violence. Also, every major American cartoon character from the 20th century shows up at some point. Heavily influenced by films like  Chinatown and  The Big Sleep and featuring special effects that fully realize the potential of earlier films like  Anchors Away and  Mary Poppins that mi...

This month, we check out the pilot for the British tv show Merlin from 2008, which rewrites the Arthurian story in some pretty significant ways, some of which really rub us the wrong way. Why is Merlin so young? Why is Arthur living with Uther? And why does the dragon look so terrible? Starring Colin Morgan, Bradley James, Angel Coulby, Anthony Head, Richard Wilson, and John Hurt. Written by Julia...

A biker gang kidnapps an ex-soldier's rock star girlfriend, and he gets revenge through the power of Jim Steinman power ballads and giant hammers in a very silly "Rock 'n' Roll Fable" from the guy who gave us The Warriors . Starring Michael Pare, Diane Lane, Willem Dafoe, Rick Moranis, and Amy Madigan. Written by Walter Hill and Larry Gross. Directed by Walter Hill. Music by Jim Steinman, Ry Coode...

Mary and Dennis go to the Space Melt Power Hour in Philadelphia, and talk a little about the Philly movie scene. Thanks to Bruce Bohri and the people at Space 1026 for hosting the movie night.

Sophmoric, misogynistic, violent, and incredibly influential, this Canadian animated feature based on the science fiction magazine and featuring comedians from SCTV  is equal parts terrible and awesome, and really brings out our inner teenage dirtbags. Also, we look at Richard Corben's original animated short  Neverwhere , the basis for the comic book character Den and his segment of the film. Sta...

We were hoping for some gaudy Satanic Panic nonsense, and instead we get  The Paper Chase with a nerdy Tom Hanks in the middle of a very boring psychotic break. Meant to warn against role-playing games like Dungeons & Dragons, it's mostly a really dull, rote drama, with nary a demon to be found. Starring Tom Hanks, Christ Makepiece, Wendy Crewson, David Wysocki, and Murray Hamilton. Written by Tom...

We take on the notorious Caligula , the story of the third Roman emperor who murdered his way to the throne and married his sister, in two forms--the original Bob Guccione cut with its hardore sex scenes, and the restored Gore Vidal/Tinto Brass version with its more measured editing, and find in the restoration a surprisingly decent film--the original theatrical version, however, lives up to its r...

Special guest Sarah Sahim joins us to discuss Richard E. Grant's autobiographical film Wah Wah, about the dissolution of his parents marriage and his father's alcoholism, agains the backdrop of the end of British colonial rule in Swaziland. What does this have to do with King Arthur? Well, as a goodbye gift to the visiting Princess Margaret, the British colonial community puts on a production of C...

An Atlantic City oyster-schucker and an aging gangster are on the run after her ex-husband rips off a Philly drug-running operation. Filmed as the Jersey Shore opened up to gambling, it captures a city under the wrecking ball of an uncertain future. Starring Burt Lancaster, Susan Sarandon, Kate Reid, and Robert Joy. Written by John Guare. Directed by Louis Malle.

A Malibu dirtbag is recruited by three older men to teach them how to pick up chicks, and a parade of topless women ensues. A world of sex, female bodybuilding, and hair metal opens up for our trio of losers, until one of them takes it too far, and our young dirtbag suddenly has to grow up and grow a pair. Starring Grant Cramer, Courtney Gains, Roberta Collins, Gary Wood. Written by Eric Alter, St...

A young Amish boy witnesses a murder by corrupt Philadelphia cops, leaving a rogue detective to protect the boy and his family from their wrath while hiding in the Pennsylvania countryside.   A dreamlike mix of brutal noir, romantic longing, and pastoral comedy, it's one of the rare films that let Ford stretch out as an actor during his action heyday. Starring Harrison Ford, Kelly McGillis, Lukas...

Just in time for the 2024 Paris Olympics, we visit the 1924 Paris Olympics and the true story of two runners who overcome discrimination--antisemitism, class differences, and religious devotion--to become a team and win the gold. With its iconic Oscar-winning synth score by Vangelis, it also won Best Picture, Screenplay, and Costumes. Starring Ben Cross, Ian Charleson, Nigel Havers, Alice Krige, I...

John Candy just wants to take his family to the lake for a summer vacation, the last thing he needs is Dan Ackroyd tagging along, humiliating him, and stealing his money. But that's family for you. This feels like an unused National Lampoon's Vacation script, and it turns out, thats exactly what it is. Starring John Candy, Dan Ackroyd, Stephanie Faracy, and Annette Benning. Written by John Hughes....

A computer programmer gets sucked into the mainframe of his former employer and does battle with a malevolent artificial intelligence in a futuristic world right out of a black-light poster. One of Walt Disney Pictures' better forays into science fiction brings us a visually-dazzling world, but that doesn't quite make up for a story that's both nonsensical and a bit of a slog. Starring Jeff Bridge...

An arrogant New York shock-jock's fall from grace is tempered by the debt he owes to an eccentric unhoused man, the woman he loves, and a search for the Holy Grail in Terry Gilliam's magical-realist tale of redemption. Starring Jeff Bridges, Robin Williams, Mercedes Ruehl, Amanda Plummer, and Michael Jeter. Written by Richard LaGravanese. Directed by Terry Gilliam. To hear the entire episode, join...

A washed-up, alcoholic ex-ballplayer is recruited to coach the worst team in little league, and sets off to pull them together into a real team, where the star pitcher is a girl and the best player is a dirtbike-riding juvenile delinquent. It's a classic 1970s snobs-versus-slobs story of rooting for the losers, the bums, the misfits. Starring Walter Matthau, Tatum O'Neill, Vic Morrow, Jackie Earl...

A book editor witnesses a murder during a cross-country trip, and is plunged into a Hitchcockian world of murder and intrigue. Eventually Richard Pryor shows up, and we get some unfortunate blackface. What can I say, it's the 1970s. Starring Gene Wilder, Richard Pryor, Jill Clayburgh, Patrick McGoohan, Ned Beatty, Ray Walston, Scatman Crothers, and Richard Kiel. Written by Colin Higgins. Directed...

A Miami Vice -influenced cross between neo-Noir and over-the-top action, it's the story of two cops—one an alcoholic detective, the other an undercover cop playing hitman—taking down some Hong Kong gangsters. It has gung-fu, babies in peril, and the boxiest, beigest computers the 1990s could deliver.  Starring Chow Yun-fat, Tony Leung, Theresa Mo, Philip Chan, and Anthony Wong. Written by Gordon C...

Young lovers Anna and Françoise, freshly graduated from college, find themselves in a mysterious forest, where they fall prey to Morgan le Fay, the fairy queen of Avalon who rules her magic island as a savage, Sapphic nightmare. For a sleazy erotic horror film, it's much better than it deserves to be--surprisingly atmospheric, with authentic elements of fairy lore, folk horror, and medieval litera...

A sheet-music salesman's life spirals out of control during the Great Depression, but that doesn't stop him from daydreaming about a better life through song. A film noir plot dressed up as a big, Busby Berkeley-style musical comedy, this remake of a British tv series was a massive box-office bomb, but has become a cult favorite. Starring Steve Martin, Bernadette Peters, Jessica Harper, and Christ...

In a world where dancing is banned, only one boy has the courage to stand up to the religious fanatics denying his magical feet. Or something. I guess. Starring Kevin Bacon, John Lithgow, Lori Singer, Diane Weist, and Christ Penn. Written by Dean Pitchford. Directed by Herbert Ross.

Bored suburban kids get into trouble, hassled by the cops until it turns deadly, and ending in an orgy of destruction--a pretty familiar American story. Sitting somewhere between low-budget exploitation films and more thoughtful, nervy fair, this cult movie pulls off having its cake and eating it, exploring the root causes of juvenile delinquency while having some awesome explosions.  Starring Mic...

A gambler's cousin shows up from Hungary and suddenly turns his dirtbag life upsidedown, sending them on a roadtrip around America.  Starring John Lurie, Eszter Balint, and Richard Edson. Written and directed by Jim Jarmusch.