Malt Couture

Michael buys Elden Ring and treats it like Pokemon and all hell breaks loose at the Pokemart. In the Beer News, the Malty Boyz™ finally get to try beer from Kings & Convicts and follow up on the Threes Brewing CEO stepping down. Alex brings in a component blended barleywine from Cellarmaker then doubles up for the Bottleshare with a barrel-aged American barleywine and it's base beer from Solemn Oa...

Being courageous means hiking up your prices according to Heineken, who posted record profits in 2021. Meanwhile, local breweries can't price a pilsner for more than $7 without drawing outrage. Threes Brewing CEO compares vaccine mandates to Nazi Germany on Twitter and promptly draws the ire of the internet before starting a Substack to explain himself. Does not end well. Alex brings in a barrel-a...

The Big Game has come and gone and The Malty Boyz™ once again sit down with Mike Costello to break down all the beer commercials that aired. Alex brings in a maple barrel aged treat from Ruse Brewing. Michael goes the European route. Stephen announces the next 420 episode cup theme. Thanks to Side Project Brewing for sponsoring this episode! Visit Side Project Brewing at SideProjectBrewing.com and...

The Global Marking Vice President for Molsen Coors, Sofia Colucci, has done it again. This time hiring mathematician Ken Ono to dunk on Budweiser's 80 calorie beer reminding everyone that Miller64 has been around for over a decade. From gingerbread dive bars to New Balance collabs, Colucci is crushing the Beer News in a good way. Meanwhile, Campbell's Soup wants people to drink "brothtails." Alex...

It's another #BIL episode, this time Stephen brings in four barrel-aged barleywines including an old money classic from Flossmoor Station Restaurant & Brewery, a hidden gem from Benchtop Brewing, a stashed away barleybob from Hardywood, and a Barreled Souls collab with Horus. Which barleywine will reign supreme at the end of this episode? Will Michael enjoy any of them? Will Alex give his stamp of...

Apparently, in Indiana there's an old dumb beer law that prohibits certain retailers from selling cold beer. Let's all hope they fix it with a slightly less stupid beer law. It's also a old dumb beer law triple header in the Beer News with New Jersey looking to designate open container areas and New York looking to allow alcohol sales in movie theaters. Alex shares a cripsy hometown hero from Iowa...

Monster Energy buys CANarchy and the Malty Boyz™ hope this means Oskar Blues and Cigar City will get some choice sponsorship opportunities. In other Beer News, Russian River's Pliny the Younger gets a new release date and Marin Brewing Company closes it's doors. Alex brings in massive 21% barleywine that's bottled still, Michael brings is the best ham water to date, and Stephen catches both of the...

Can you buy a hip, gently used brewery with just photos of apes? At Bad Boiz Castle Incorporated LLC we say, "Yeah, bruh. Yeah." Kings & Convicts is at it again purchasing yet another San Diego brewery, this time adding Saint Archer to their portfolio. In other Beer News, SweetWater's big weed overlords look to sell of what's left of Green Flash while Budweiser goes full Willy Wonka with their gol...

Sometimes, a Tweet drops that shakes you to your core and makes you question the reality in which you live in. Pabst Blue Ribbon did just that and now the Malty Boyz™ will never be the same. Listen and find out which of the Boyz welcomes the new ass eating overlords and which one shuns ass eat and refuses to comply. Alex brings in what Evil Twin called their "best beer ever made" while Stephen con...

Once again, Alex lights the Malt signal and asks for suggestions of hidden, local gems. The Malt Mavens have spoken and in this batch The Malty Boyz™ will try beers from Goldfinger Brewing Company, Jack's Abby, Godspeed Brewery, and Origin Beer Project before putting them through the Power Rankings. In the Beer News, a man brandishes a gun at Russian River Brewing, Green Flash and Alpine Beer Co....

Bro, get your peacock on with your steampunk goggles and big, loud hat because the Malty Boyz™ are exploring the game... the bourbon game. In Bourbon News, the Boyz™ discuss NFTs linked to rare bourbons stored in a "vault" to Buffalo Trace going high-tech to combat counterfeiting. Alex brings in a collab between The Bruery and Three Chiefs and gives an update about the status of Three Chiefs. Step...

It's another Beersmas here in the Maltyverse and once again old Ebenezer Kidd is visited by the ghosts of Beersmas Past, Super Past, Present, and Future. And all he got was a scorpion to eat and digest. That's right, Alex eats a scorpion carcass this episode! Serves him right working Stephen and Michael to the bone the way he does. Alex should have eaten at least two or three more scorpions tbh fr...

The Malty Boyz™ drop into the dive bars of South Dakota to the dive bars of Alabama and learn telling someone "Ur bad" is a flirtatious to tell someone they are good. In the Beer News, a stream in Hawaii registers a 1.2% ABV, Budweiser gets into the NFT game, and Miller High Life releases a gingerbread kit to build your own authentic dive bar. Miller High Life... ur bad. Michael gets put on a jury...

Alex's favorite magazine, Esquire, the official periodical of all lawyers, endorses the opinion that people should only drink half their beer then discard the rest. Does this endorsement hold any integrity? No. In other Beer News, aluminum tariffs threaten to destroy the Ball Corporation unless breweries start ordering no less than 1 million cans. In the Bottleshare, Alex brings in a hidden gem of...

Alex speaks it into existence declaring this to be Michael's funniest episode. Does Michael deliver or does he make Alex look like a fool? How many knee-slapping punchlines will Michael deliver while drinking barleywine from Kros Strain? Will Michael bust out his best roast jokes when talking about the return of the Festival of Wood and Barrel-Aged Beer? What zingers will Michael come up with when...

In this Maltterrogation the Malty Boyz™ talk with founder of Keeping Together and Master Cicerone Averie Swanson! Hear about Averie's time as Brew Master for Jester King, moving to Chicago and consulting Half Acre before opening up Keeping Together. Then they dive into discussing her dream collaboration, favorite brewery facility, and the worst beer she's ever brewed. For more bonus content subscr...

Enjoy this bonus Small Batch episode with Becca Scott as she talks about being a correspondent for Magic: The Gathering, hosting board game play thrus and tutorials for Geek and Sundry, and being part of Dr. America. For more bonus content subscribe to our Patreon for weekly interviews, videos, and more! Patreon.com/DontDrinkBeer

Enjoy this Mailbag Black Friday bonus episode where we answer spicy questions submitted by Malt Mavens. In this mailbag, Stephen lists his favorite songs by The Mountain Goats while Alex explains Crass to Michael, the Malty Boyz™ discuss funny foods, give advice on how to break it to your beer group that you're tired of the game, and what their last beers would be and with who. For more bonus cont...

After polling DontDrinkBeer fans about off the radar local gems, Alex sourced beers from four breweries that haven't been featured on Malt Couture yet. For the first time, the Malty Boyz™ try beers from Neubleus Taproom, Barrique Brewing and Blending, The Seed: A Living Beer Project, and There Does Not Exist then give them the power ranking treatment. In the Beer News, Wu-Tang Clan's GZA beer dinn...

Alex and Stephen bring the heat when they record together in lieu of Michael who was on vacation. It's all bangers this episode when they pop barleywine from Orpheus Brewing, mead from Schramm's, black lager from Suarez Family Brewery, and a commercial batch of wild ale from Freak Folk Bier. In the Beer News, Larry Bell gets paid when Bell's is sold off to Kirin, a man who hates whiskey amasses a...

Behold! The most immersive experience in all of beer! Augmented Reality brought to you buy Coors! Eat this turkey leg! In the Beer News, Stone closes down shop in Napa amid rent disputes and Idaho's bourbon shitlords have the fate of their secondary industry left in the hands of the Idaho State Liquor Division. Lager powerhouses, Wayfinder, Bierstadt, and Heater Allen, combine forces to collab on...

Elon Musk announces he's entering the beer game and The Malty Boyz™ got some questions for the riches person in the world. Weathered Souls Brewing Co. heads to Charlotte to open up an incubation program that'll help minorities and women enter the beer industry. Alex recounts one of the most devious acts to ever go down at a bottle release then goes old money for the Bottleshare when he brings in L...

Alex hates themed episodes so naturally Stephen and Michael have to make up for it by bringing in pumpkin beers for spooky season. The Malty Boyz™ are also recording in person for the first time in a long time and start the episode with a beer off the White Whale list. In the Beer News, New Glarus claps back at shareholders with a defamation lawsuit, Uber acquires Drizly, and AB InBev releases the...

The Malty Boyz™ head to Cape Code to see how the locals have been dealing with the new Tree House Brewing Company taproom and the area's economic recovery. Mikkeller goes full BrewDog when they start damage control after breweries pull out en masse from their annual beer festival. Someone stole Anchorage Brewing's snow plow! Jukes Ale Works returns to form with their latest Abyssal Mouth barrel-ag...

The Malty Boyz™ complete the Brouwerij De Dolle Brouwers barrel-aged trinity when they tick Dulle Teve Riserva 2018. Then the Belgian love fest continues in the Bottle Share when they drink a canned tripel from Monkish and a beer often called the best American Wild Ale of all time, Crooked Stave's 2012 Persica. Then in the Beer News, a well-meaning beer released to raise breast cancer awareness go...