: lower black pain.

My body is way fancier than me. It simply HAS to have the latest flu, while it’s still pret-a-porter, before those knockoff hags get their greedy little paws on it and shovel it everywhere. But I’m not a heartless Cruella DeVille about it, I share it freely with my family. Why, just last weekend we were all in the car for a Saturday drive, zombielike and gently wheezing, simply dizzy with designer...

I bought another chin-up bar. The category is actually listed as “pull up bars” now, I guess you don’t have to make it all the way up with your chin. Maybe that’s too much pressure, like calling push-ups “full body straight arms” or sit-ups “nose touching knees”. It’s still a valid sit-up even if you aren’t sitting ALL THE WAY up, though mine are kind of “lean-ups” now, when I try to do them. ( Ah...

For all that we’re about to see I’m ready as I’ll ever be. I don’t know if I’m really brave but I can face the facts(if we’re still doing that) I persevere and think I’ve learned to subjugate my fearsomewhat I’ve tried to save a little here and there just for emergencies and kept in shape or, in a shape – I walk enough to fill the red ring on my watch most days if not the green one I can recognize...

They didn’t teach my daughter about irregular verbs in school. Neither did she gain significant instruction regarding irregular nouns. When we noticed her speaking of childs, tooths , and mouses we began to gently correct her, which always led to the entirely understandable question of “Why is it like that?”, to which we had no better reply than, “I don’t know.” When we mentioned this educational...

Our former neighbors held a wonderful housewarming party at their new home on New Year’s Day. At this party was our host’s 7 year old niece, who sat very quietly playing a game with her brother in the bedroom until very near the party’s end, when the Chappell Roan album “The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess” began playing from the bluetooth speaker. Now when I was seven I was a bit of a ham. Ha...

End of the calendar year and I realize thatwe look forward and backward a lot as human beings. what was the best music this year when is that movie coming out when did these pants last fit how long will these shoes last didn’t I used to and how are we ever going to be able to Around this time, we become, each one of us historians, yet futuristsclassical archeologists and inventor engineers But wha...

Many apartments in New York City don’t have shades, curtains, or blinds on their windows, particularly above the third floor. My mother believes that this is a sign of mass insanity. “People can see right into their house!” she’ll say. “No one’s looking into their house, Mom.” “But if they wanted to they could! Don’t they care about their privacy?’ ‘I don’t think they think anybody cares about the...

When I picture a Christmas tree with toys underneath it, I always see a doll, a teddy bear, a ball, and a toy train. Sometimes the train is wooden, hand carved, painted with primary colors. Sometimes it’s a little electric one going around on a track that encircles the base of the tree. Can you see it? It’s traditional, classic… yet that universal scene has never happened for me, because we have c...

my daughter tried to throw awaymy Hot Wheels™ track the other daybecause she didn’t understandthe joy of seeing a little car landso far from where it used to bethrough wobbly ramps and gravity my wife is under the impressionthat ‘cause I’m past 57I don’t need a Lite Brite™ nowbecause she hasn’t experienced howthe thrill of pushpin pointillismfulls the heart with wonder. It’s ananalog art-form that...

This time of year used to be a bit more challenging, if you think about it. Family and friends getting together used to be an annual chance to catch up, hear stories, look at pictures, silently judge and relentlessly compare while eating our feelings and perhaps a few of theirs. “What’s happened” or as we used to call it “History” is now a constant flow of unsolicited communication through smartph...

I don’t look useful . I think I look tousled most of the time, a style most often seen on wild brunettes wearing long white men’s shirts walking barefoot into kitchens to get a cup of morning coffee in someone else’s apartment in 1980’s films. In contrast, I am more the “tousled” of a 4 year old boy getting his hair affectionately ruffled by someone calling him “pal” in a 1940’s black and white mo...

It is impossible to list all of one’s experience on one’s resume. For instance: * For a while I was on a dessert isle with a professor, a millionaire and his wife, and a movie star. Key takeaway: Problem Solving Skills . * I frequented a MASH unit for a few years. Key takeaways: Focus, Crisis Management . * I learned diligence in two diners (Thanks Alice & Angie), patience on a tour bus with Shirl...

Right out of college I dated a few people. Most of the relationships had an ebb and a flow to them, a natural half-life, seemed to make sense. But one was particularly memorable because of how it ended. I made her a cup of tea. She hadn’t asked for one, but I knew she liked tea and I was getting one for myself. I hadn’t asked her first because we had both been reading in my room, and she was very...

I took the day off today, which I don’t do very often. I’m one of those people that even on Saturdays check their email every 90 minutes and leave my work phone on the charger but turn up the ring volume real loud (just in case). I’m not playing hooky: I just put in for a vacation day. I have plenty saved up - I just thought it might be nice to be home on Halloween to…I don’t know, * take a bath,...

The amount of actual energy I actually have to actually say anything right now reminds me of last Saturday morning when I finally put gas in our car.  We pumped 16 gallons into the tank, which was odd because it’s a 15 gallon tank . That’s how empty it was. The car was running on hope . We were half a block from putting our feet through the floor and Flintstones pedaling to the grocery store. That...

We have adopted a new kitten. This one belongs to the (now) middle cat, who is (now) less bored and more able to express his inner child: growling (in a friendly way), running about the house, leaping and pouncing. New family is often a contentious time, but as autumn chills the air, we find our three felines sleeping ever closer to one another, first rooms apart and now within a foot of one anoth...

We used to hold a storytelling party every year in autumn. Each guest was required to bring three things; a bottle of red wine, a candle, and a story. Zoe and I provided the food, usually a large pot of something warm, filling, and comforting – we lit the candles and opened the wine, and began telling the stories, which could be about anything, as long as they were true. They didn’t have to actual...

The classic monsters are, of course, Frankenstein, The Wolfman, and Dracula… (Oh, sure, you can add in the Mummy and the Creature from the Black Lagoon if you want, but no one dresses as them for Halloween. Well, maybe the Mummy, if you’re not planning on dancing or walking very fast all night, but the Fish-Man would take professional grade make-up work and seems like a really uncomfortably hot co...

I wear contact lenses to see far away, and glasses on top of them so that I can read up close. “Why not just get bifocals?” Well, during the pandemic, I wore my contacts like tiny little Captain America shields for my eyes - I could practically hear the near constant ricochet of infectious particles and allergens bouncing off of them. Consequently, I hadn’t bought a pair of prescription glasses in...

When I enter a used bookstore my shoulders automatically lower (even if I thought I felt relaxed on the way in) and I exhale much deeper than the inhale just before it. Paper, stacked sometimes literally to the ceiling, offers the safety of ten thousand silent voices. What others might classify as clutter, I see as a garden. I love words. Not merely the printed word, but words themselves, and the...

I was mistaken for Neil deGrasse Tyson once at the Museum of Modern Art. I had taken a friend there for lunch, and we decided that we’d eat at the fancy place on the ground floor because we’d just finished a huge project. I hadn’t made any reservations, but they sat us immediately at a very nice table, and then the head waiter came over and said, “It’s great to see you again. How is everything?” “...

At my grade school, it was just reading, writing, and arithmetic for a while, and then science and social studies came along. Science focused on nature at first, eventually evolving into fun experiments like baking soda volcanos and lemon batteries. Social studies began as cartography: the class would look at giant maps requiring WWE strength for the teachers to pull down, like huge window shades...

Back before she was here, when we thought about raising the baby, we felt we had a handle on the whole thing., or at least the general concept. We understood, for instance, that the child would be empty a great deal of the time, and our first job was to keep it filled with love and food (in that order). To that list we added the arts , which we started with right from the very beginning with music...

There aren’t many shows that I watch on television at the time that they are broadcast anymore. Five percent of the reason for this is that I am the kind of person who leans into new technologies. I embraced streaming video, navigating its twists and eddys as an intrepid explorer might, until it isn’t just the technology that’s new, but the way I am able to live, work, and communicate. I embrace t...

I wasn’t a particularly fussy baby, or so I’m told. My mother says that I was an easygoing roommate who didn’t make trouble: a good boy, who made a lot of racket at night. My mother decided to comfort me with a radio in my crib. This worked - sort of. I did respond very well to music, but not the music she initially preferred… I only calmed totally down when one of the country music stations was o...