LOVE IS FEARLESS

Don't let the title of this episode fool you. You're in the right place if...  ...you're  tired.  You're tired of your job, you're tired of the struggle that won't seem to end with your children (or your parents), and you're tired of the chaos in the world that gives you a million reasons to be afraid.  ...you're  curious.  You've noticed on the days you take a break from the crazy cycle and go st...

"I'm recognizing that transformation is not possible in an achievement-oriented culture, it is only possible in an identity-oriented culture. When achievement is the goal, our identity will come from our accomplishments, and we'll live fueled by the power of fear. Shame will be the voice we hear. Fear conforms, not transforms." "When we put new theology - even the theology of love, into a culture...

The inner voice of Love always speaks the liberating truth of God - but our worldly development has programmed us to tune into another voice. We're more familiar with the voice of fear. We're more familiar with our own truth than God's truth. This episode is for you if:  You're more familiar with the voice of fear and shame than you are with the voice of love and truth. You know well the language...

This LOVE IS FEARLESS episode is for you if - You're curious about building a different lifestyle to help you heal or restore a relationship because when you stop to think about it, the lifestyle you're living is based on cultural values, and those values are not helping you enjoy healthy relationships.  You're starting a new relationship. You're ready to admit that you don't treat people who are...

This LOVE IS FEARLESS episode is for you if -  Conflict is killing you. You're seeing a pattern in your relationships, even with yourself. Whenever there's a disagreement, the result is deconstruction instead of constructive.  You know you have a new identity in Christ. You know the theology of grace. You know your new focus in life is love instead of avoiding sin. But when you're honest with your...

Difficult days can go from bad to worse when we forget emotions are intended to be our friends instead of our enemies. When we live as if emotions are our enemies, we try to control them or pretend they don't exist. When we engage with emotions as our friends, we notice and listen to them. Valuing our emotions for the information they give us, we discover our core values and deep desires. We learn...

Season 4 of the LIF podcast is all about starting new conversations. We're leaning in instead of leaning away from fresh perspectives…even if they seem to lead us away from the traditional life and lifestyle we've worked to achieve for so long.    We're willing to admit that sometimes we experience peace before we experience success.   We're discovering that living loved really is different from l...

Join us in this episode as we dig deep into a new conversation about  The Connected Life , by Todd W. Hall.  This week, we're talking about the power of love that changes everything, especially when we begin to experience God as a safe and secure Father, rather than a distant and threatening judge. In his book, Todd Hall tells about a man diagnosed with schizophrenia who is now functioning well an...

The connection crisis in our culture is running parallel to the mental illness epidemic in our world - for us and for our children. The crisis is more than what we see when we notice families sharing a table while all staring at their phones. Connection is not a personal preference or a check off on our to-do list. It's a human need. Without it, we get sick. The real crisis started more than a gen...

LOVE IS FEARLESS is having a birthday! Born on July 4, 2018, LIF has been downloaded in over 60 countries and is transforming families worldwide. Share this episode to help us celebrate! In this Season 4 episode sharing new conversations about transformational books, Doug and Janet talk about  Education by Design, Not Default  - and the power of connection in childhood.  As parents, we teach our c...

Dan Herod  is known for starting conversations we didn't know we needed to have. Gifted with an uncommon path in life, he writes and speaks to empower.   Born to a deaf father and surviving the aching wake of his parent's divorce prepared him for the most crushing loss a parent can meet. He knows that a soul that screams heavenward in frustration about their situation can discover how hope sometim...

The LOVE IS FEARLESS podcast is a safe place to have conversations about painful and difficult stories. If you experienced childhood in a dysfunctional family story and you're staggering through your own healing journey, this episode is for you. If your children are experiencing their childhood in a dysfunctional family story, this episode is for you, too. David Zailer is our guest in this convers...

Janet was invited to share the commencement speech with a graduating class in Stephenville, TX and the message was so powerful and well-received, we promised some friends we'd share it on a podcast episode. If you have a 2023 graduate in your family, please tell them about this episode as our gift of congratulations and encouragement for their future. If it's been a while since you graduated, this...

A safe relationship is different from a good relationship because a safe person is different from a good person. When we experience good relationships with good people, we are influenced by their goodness, but often it is the kind of "good" that's evident because of their success. They have good jobs, make a good salary, drive a good car, and wear the latest "good" shoes. When we experience safe r...

The Cure  is undoubtedly the book that's changed our lives the most. Truly! If you're wondering where the Bible fits in our stories, it is the most important book for us, hands down.  But  The Cure  changed how we read the Bible, and is helping us live loved by God instead of afraid of Him. The back cover of the book is a great intro to this episode. It says,  "We thought we were cured. But eventu...

This is our first-ever BONUS episode! As we launch Season Four we're promising great conversations about books and authors that love us well. We're admitting that books are some of our best friends and we're excited about introducing you to some of the best. We're also committing to at least one new episode every month. While we're fundraising for John 15 Academy and Doug is still working full-tim...

Welcome to Season Four! We're excited to share meaningful conversations about great books and maybe a few great movies, too. :) What do great books have to do with living loved instead of afraid? That's a good question. This season is all about building relationships with great authors and letting the ideas in books love us well. That means great books are good FOR US, not simply good. Powerful id...

When we sit with the weight of the truth that LOVE IS A PROCESS OF MEETING NEEDS, we are reminded that if we're going to love someone, that means we're going to:  Notice their needs and do what is in our power and capacity to meet those needs so that the one we love can live in truth, and can experience personal growth and emotional healing.  Intentionally build a relationship of trust with the pe...

Hope is soul food. We can live without it for a few days or maybe a few weeks, but living without it for very long causes us to be careless about life, experience depression, feel overwhelmed by shame, and isolate ourselves in the very moments we need connection in healthy relationships. Faithful love meets our God-given need for trust and offers us hope. Faithful love reminds us we are not alone,...

In our Everyday Love series, we're talking about our God-given needs. This episode is all about our real need for significance and attention. Love meets our need for significance with affirmation. Without trusting this love, we'll experience a loss of identity and be driven to perform for our acceptance. Love meets our need for attention with servant love. Without letting someone love us, our live...

Season 3 is all about learning how to love ourselves and each other every day in practical ways. We're not talking about five love languages or how each Enneagram type prefers to be loved. We're talking about the God-given needs that we wake up with every day because we are human, not because we're weak or wounded or wired in a way that's unique to our personality.  Our God-given needs are the pla...

Every day we wake up with God-given needs. Having our needs met is the way we experience love. One of our everyday needs is for direction and love meets this need with corrective love.    When we don't trust corrective love, we'll live misguided lives. Without corrective love, our children will be vulnerable and seriously affected by wrong life choices. A lack of direction will always make me a vi...

How do I experience love, practically speaking? How can I put it into words? If I can put it into words, I can put it into action. I can recognize love when I see it if I know what I'm looking for.  Putting love into words and actions is our focus in season 3. In this episode, we're sharing how love meets our real need for security with passionate loyalty and commitment.  Without experiencing depe...

This is episode 100! Wow! Thank you for celebrating with us!   For 100 episodes we've been wrestling with the differences between a lifestyle of fear and a lifestyle of love. In today's episode, we're laying out some clear lifestyle markers that are present when love is trusted instead of fear.  Listen in as I (Janet) tell the story of a conversation with Bill Thrall about the impact of love and t...

Welcome to Season 3! We're calling this season "Every Day Love" and our goal is to make love practical in our everyday lives.    Recognizing the practicality of love requires us to let go of some of the common UN-practical definitions and ideas that we have about love.   Love is so much more than an emotion or something you feel when you first start dating or when you bring home a newborn baby. Be...