Love and Life with Dr. Karin and Pastor Elliott

In part 2 of our conversation about sexual wounds, Elliott and I discuss how you can identify a sexual wound—whether you’re wondering if you’ve been wounded or perhaps your partner has.  Elliott shares the two main ways sexual wounds manifest—in hyper-sexual behavior or hypo-sexuality. We wrap up our conversation with tangible steps to take to help you or your partner heal from sexual wounds. Join...

In today’s hypersexualized culture, it’s difficult to avoid abuse or pain regarding our sexuality. Therefore, to some degree, most of us suffer from a sexual wound. Specifically, sexual wounds occur when physically intimate bonds are created outside of a committed monogamous partnership. Sexual wounds result from: Hook ups Paid sex Adultery Sexual abuse/molestation/incest Rape Pornography Furtherm...

On Love & Life, we’re all about THRIVING in every realm of love and life! This sounds great, of course. But it also sets a very high bar—which can, admittedly, feel daunting and overwhelming. Elliott and I are here to help! As Elliott moves from Love & Life “fan favorite guest” to co-host, he’ll provide expertise based on over 30 years of counseling individuals and couples. He also brings...

More questions keep coming in so Elliott and I recorded another Q&A episode for you! “Helene” has been on at least 75 dates over the last 5 years. She’s frustrated that the guys she’s into never pursue her while the ones she’s not attracted to want to date her. She’s concerned that maybe now she’s putting up walls after so much disappointment. “Janey” says she matched with a guy on a dating ap...

When we’ve been on the dating scene for a while and endured so much heartache, how can we believe good men still exist? It’s so easy to give up hope, but we don’t want to become bitter or demoralized! In this Q&A episode, Elliott and I answer your questions: “Valerie” wants to know how she can possibly trust men again after her boyfriend of 6 months broke up with her right after her miscarriag...

How often do you ask yourself, “How am I doing?” If you're like most of us, the answer may be–not often enough! Detroit Pistons psychotherapist, Dr. Corey Yeager, invites us to ask ourselves this very question. His new book, “How Am I Doing? 40 Conversations to Have with Yourself” provides thought provoking prompts for deeper self knowledge–of who you’ve been and who you intend to become! I highli...

We're wrapping up our series on Dr. Chapman's 5 Love Languages with a couple more I've developed over my 30+ years working with couples—challenge and presentation!  1. Challenge: How we challenge each other in a committed romantic relationship—to be the best version of ourselves, in relationships, career, family, and faith—is critical mortar solidifying or weakening, your love language w...

We’re kicking off Valentine’s Week with a series on Dr. Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages. We’ll be devoting an episode to each love language and rolling them out every day this week. Even if you’re familiar with Love Languages, this series is for you! We’re taking a broad approach to them by including their influence on our friendships and family relationships, in addition to our romantic partnersh...

We’re kicking off Valentine’s Week with a series on Dr. Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages. We’ll be devoting an episode to each love language and rolling them out every day this week. Even if you’re familiar with Love Languages, this series is for you! We’re taking a broad approach to them by including their influence on our friendships and family relationships, in addition to our romantic partnersh...

We’re kicking off Valentine’s Week with a series on Dr. Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages. We’ll be devoting an episode to each love language and rolling them out every day this week. Even if you’re familiar with Love Languages, this series is for you! We’re taking a broad approach to them by including their influence on our friendships and family relationships, in addition to our romantic partnersh...

We’re kicking off Valentine’s Week with a series on Dr. Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages. We’ll be devoting an episode to each love language and rolling them out every day this week. Even if you’re familiar with Love Languages, this series is for you! We’re taking a broad approach to them by including their influence on our friendships and family relationships, in addition to our romantic partnersh...

We’re kicking off Valentine’s Week with a series on Dr. Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages. We’ll be devoting an episode to each love language and rolling them out every day this week. Even if you’re familiar with Love Languages, this series is for you! We’re taking a broad approach to them by including their influence on our friendships and family relationships, in addition to our romantic partnersh...

All of us face loneliness. We need to acknowledge and move through loneliness to be empowered and encouraged in our relationships. Last week I gave a message on loneliness at Judson University and we wanted to share it with you. There are three universal circumstances that automatically generate loneliness. I used the acronym TFL (tackle for loss for you football fans) for these 3 life c...

For this week’s episode I wanted to share my recent appearance on “Perspective of the Mind or how to get unstuck when you feel stuck with Diyana Dimitrova”. In this episode we cover: What does it mean healthy and unhealthy relationship? Why so many people are in unhealthy relationships? How to recognize a deal breaker from the normal ups and downs in a relationship? How can we cope with fear of lo...

Boomers, Gen Xers and Millennials remember a world without social media and cell phones but for Gen Z, technology has always been a ubiquitous part of their existence. So, I was curious as to how Gen Z would respond to our series on technology and relationships. Do they have any similar frustrations? What do they make of the modern dating landscape as it relates to technology? How are their friend...

When did you last spend time with someone without a phone in your hand or on the table? It’s probably been a while . . . And while phones absolutely enhance our lives and provide the ability to connect with people across the globe, they can also detract from our IRL relationships. In today’s episode, Elliott and I continue our conversation on phones and relationships by considering the following q...

When you’re with your friends, how long can you make it before one of you pulls out your phone? You’re just responding to texts, of course, or, maybe checking the likes from your last post. Most of us do it all day every day. But research shows jumping onto social media when you’re with friends IRL may have a detrimental impact on your connection. There’s even a newish term for this,“technopherenc...

“It’s like there are four people in your relationship—you, your partner, and your two phones.” – Elliott Anderson, M.A. Is your phone impacting your ability to cultivate deep, authentic intimacy? Probably so! Thanks to the phones in our pockets, we’re able to distract ourselves 24/7—from boredom, loneliness, or any uncomfortable emotion. But what about when our relationship with our phone trumps o...

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! At least, that’s the fantasy . . . We imagine warm, loving family gatherings—breaking bread, sharing hopes and dreams. Grandparents regaling us with tales of Christmas past. Toddlers and teens giving us a glimpse into Christmas future. But all too often the warm, loving gathering is neither—it’s cold and combative. Breaking bread breaks hearts as we war ov...

Is your relationship plagued by constant frustrations and arguments? If so, it’s possible power struggles are at the root of your disagreements. In today’s episode, psychotherapist and pastor, Elliott Anderson, M.A., and I continue our conversation on conflict styles by examining power struggles. If you haven’t had the chance to listen to parts 1 and 2 of this discussion, please jump back to episo...

If you have siblings, you likely fought with them about anything and everything! They were your first sparring partners. And, through them—and interactions with parents and friends, too—you developed your conflict style. (For more on conflict styles, check out part 1 of this series, ep. 220 of Love & Life .) Elliott and I continue our discussion on conflict negotiations in romantic partnership...

Conflict is inherent to every relationship. And though many of us regard conflict as problematic and prefer to avoid it, we don’t actually have to perceive it as negative. In fact, when we negotiate conflict, we deepen intimacy and authentic connection. That being said, it’s MUCH easier to negotiate conflict if we have a solid understanding of how we tend to respond when dealing with it. Join Elli...

Do you feel judged for your financial choices?  If you’re single, you’ve likely experienced single shaming.  And, you probably have also experienced shaming around your financial situation. Single shaming and finances are a thing.  Emily Burnett should know.  In her twenties, she was $50,000 in debt.  She felt the shame.  Then, she pulled herself out of debt and she n...

We wrapped up our recent Love & Life Live by answering questions from both our Instagram viewers and in-person audience. Elliott and I shared our thoughts on the following questions: What is an appropriate pacing for a relationship? Butterflies—are we looking for them? Or, is it better to go for that calm feeling? How can I know his or her intentions? How do I know if my attraction is healthy...

In this second part of our recent Love & Life Live, psychotherapist Elliott Anderson and I continue our conversation on how to cultivate deep, authentic, emotionally healthy intimacy. Specifically, we tackle the following: 10 Warning Signs in Relationships. 10 Environmental Contexts and Concerns. 10 Family of Origin Dynamics to Observe and Discuss. 4 Non-negotiable Dealbreakers! Yes, love is a...