Love and Life with Dr. Karin and Pastor Elliott

In the midst of newlywed bliss, we often overlook the importance of presenting ourselves to our families and friends as a united front. That is, until our in-laws begin to meddle and make inappropriate demands . . .  Of course, we remain respectful of our parents and in-laws. Of course, we want to avail ourselves of their wisdom and guidance. But, a young couple (or not-so-young couple) must demon...

You have questions. We’ve got answers! As part of our series on Elliott’s premarital counseling curriculum, we shared 2 episodes about how to cultivate true sexual intimacy and fulfillment.  We received some feedback from listeners whose sex lives are extremely difficult. They don’t intend to leave their marriages for various reasons–there are children involved, or they love each other deeply desp...

A 2016 Pew Research Poll found that just 44% of respondents consider shared religious beliefs to be key to a successful marriage. Therefore, 66% of us aren’t too worried about aligning spiritually with our partner. But, is it wise to minimize this? Actually, according to multiple studies, couples who pray together DO stay together. In fact, marital satisfaction is highly correlated with religious...

Dave Wayne had found his passion and purpose in life. As a psychiatric nurse, he’d gained the respect of both his peers and superiors–so much so, that he won a prestigious award at his hospital!. Not long after receiving this accolade, Dave was fired. Why? He declined to take an injection of an experimental product.  But as so often happens in life, our darkest moments propel us in a new direction...

We started an occasional series a while ago called, “Empowered Evolving” in part, because I saw so much shifting all around us. Beliefs that had once been considered integral to folks with certain philosophical ideology, now seem to be embraced by those on the opposite side of things. Furthermore, over the last several years, we’ve witnessed the abolition of core American rights I thought we all v...

Sometimes, even when we’re well into adulthood, dynamics from our family of origin continue to impact us and our relationships.  We may be physically distant, but still emotionally enmeshed! Oftentimes, we remain entangled in family drama, which consumes our time and energy. What’s worse—it robs us of the emotional bandwidth necessary to pursue healthy, romantic partnership.  We may not actually b...

In Elliott’s final session of his premarital curriculum, he delves into a topic which all too often proves incredibly difficult for couples to discuss—sex. We began this conversation in episode 295 but, because there’s obviously a lot to talk about, we broke it up into 2 parts. Elliott shares Biblical wisdom to help couples cultivate deep, meaningful sexual connections. He also provides practical...

In the final session of Elliott’s premarital curriculum, he helps couples develop habits and dynamics necessary for cultivating sexual intimacy and fulfillment. Step one—you need to be able to talk about it! As Elliott notes, many couples struggle to discuss this most important element of their relationship. Elliott shares the key questions he poses to couples to assist them in establishing a soli...

Four years after “2 weeks to stop the spread” and I’m still reeling. They say, “Get over it. Move on! COVID’s done.”  Of course, I’d like to forget about it. But, it doesn’t feel “done” to me. I’m still trying to get my bearings.  Elliott says it’s Post COVID Trauma. We all feel it to some degree. And, we all deal with it differently. How could we NOT be traumatized? We’d never experienced anythin...

In the fifth session of Elliott’s premarital curriculum he discusses the relationship dynamics related to money and power. Karin is out of town this week so Elliott and Tim tackle this topic and address the following issues: How do we communicate with our partner about finances? What role do you play with your partner in relationship to money? How do money and power co-exist in the context of a pa...

We all know conflict is unavoidable. And, it’s certainly inherent to marriage. In the fourth session of Elliott’s premarital curriculum, couples take a deep dive into all aspects of conflict. We know it’s inevitable, but can conflict actually strengthen our bond and cultivate intimacy? Specifically we address: Why does conflict happen?  When is it most likely to occur?  When disputes arise, what’s...

As we all know, if something is “out of order,” it’s not working.  So, too, in marriage!  In session 3 of his premarital curriculum, Elliott discusses the importance of “order” in marriage. He shares key verses in Ephesians 5 with which some couples struggle. Elliott asserts a deeper understanding reveals how husbands and wives are empowered by these Biblical instructions. He reminds us that altho...

We’re continuing our series on engagement by sharing Elliott’s premarital curriculum with you 💍 In session 2, Elliott asks couples if they believe love is enough. If we’re madly in love, can we be guaranteed a happy, solid, fulfilling marriage? He goes into depth regarding the Bible’s instructions (I Peter 3:1-7) for how husbands are to treat their wives and vice versa. Elliott unpacks the meanin...

Elliott sent me this Key and Peele clip the other day: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/wOBNm_8zw4I I immediately texted back, “We need to record an episode about this!” The bit starts with Key sharing an unpopular opinion about a movie.  Peele responds with a phrase we hear all the time these days, “That’s awkward!” Key is confused. What’s awkward about an opinion? He protests but Peele continues t...

Last week, Producer Tim and I discussed the joys of an easy marriage.  But we know, of course, this isn’t everyone’s experience! We definitely wanted Elliott to share how he helps couples in difficult marriages improve their connection so they can enjoy each other more—and maybe even find that ease and fluidity they’ve been lacking! Specifically, we discuss: Semantics around the word, “easy.” Why...

The Love & Life family is a diverse bunch—from singles, to those exclusively dating, to engaged couples, to marrieds, to divorced folks back on the scene again. We’re all at different places in our love journey. As we thought about what we wanted to share for Valentine’s Day, Producer Tim suggested we grapple with the following:  Are relationships doomed to be a constant struggle? Do they have...

We interrupt our series on engagement to bring you Elliott’s presentation on trauma, which he shared recently at his church. How do we define trauma? What experiences leave a trauma wound? How do these wounds impact our relationships? What does the Bible have to say about trauma? Is there hope for healing? If so, how do we heal? We’ve all experienced some level of trauma—Big T or Little t. Perhaps...

As anyone who’s experienced depression can tell you, it’s brutal. And, with almost 1 in 4 American women taking antidepressants, it’s clear many of us are suffering. What’s going on? What’s to be done? In this latest episode of our “Love & Life:  Let’s Talk About It” series, Miriam Conner and I explore depression in America—especially as it relates to women. Specifically, we consider: How depr...

Welcome to Love & Life: Let’s Talk About It! So, what exactly are we talking about? All the hot topics we’re not supposed to touch—the subjects that get you censored, shadow-banned, and canceled when you broach them. Censorship, shadow-banning, cancelation . . . How could this happen? This is America, the “land of the free!” Or, so we thought . . . Are we actually free if we’re not permitted t...

We continue our series on engagement with the next segment of Elliott’s premarital counseling curriculum. Today’s episode delves into Session 1, Part 2. Elliott discusses the themes couples should address when they’re engaged—along with the exercises and activities he employs to help generate conversations around these important topics. If you’re engaged—or expect to be someday—this episode is for...

You’re engaged! Time for wedding planning! But, what about marriage planning? Because a strong, fulfilling marriage starts long before your wedding day! In fact, our engagement serves as a crucial time for us to address key concerns and establish healthy patterns which will set us up for a strong, fulfilling marriage. With over 30 years counseling engaged and married couples, Elliott has a wealth...

Building a strong marriage starts long before the wedding day and with 30+ years of working with couples, Elliott has plenty of solid advice for anyone newly engaged or contemplating engagement! But, first things first—it’s thrilling to accept a proposal and begin wedding planning, but we need to be sure we’re doing all this with the right person for us! Too often, premarital counseling focuses on...

You’re engaged! So in love! It’s exhilarating!  Except, when you have cold feet. Are these just wedding jitters? Or, do you need to rethink your decision? As a former runaway bride, this topic hits home to me. Elliott and I decided to kick off our series on premarital counseling by asking a very important first question, “What if you’re engaged, but you’re feeling uncertain and unsure?” In this ep...

In part 2 of our conversation about family roles, Elliott and I share specific roles we may play when interacting with our family of origin—and others in our lives!  Are you the “family hero?” The black sheep? The lost child?  Join us to determine your role and how to rewrite the script should you feel your role constrains you or proves unhealthy for your adult growth and development. Sponsor The...

Whether we’re aware of it or not, we each play various roles within our families. And, even if we’ve grown and changed, we often step right back into our role during family gatherings! Do you know your family role? Do you understand how it impacts you during the holidays and throughout the year? Some of us have a sense of our family role. Maybe you’re the instigator or the peacemaker. The caretake...