Lou Reads the Internet for YOU!

Welcome! Welcome to the forum that made me feel like puking every step of the way. That’s right! You heard it here first! As you’ll soon hear I thought I might have met my match here in the bowels of the CumOnFood.net forums. That’s right. A forum… about people… who want to cum on food … Continue reading "Lou Reads from the forums of CumOnFood.net"

Hey there, true believers! Are you ready for some tales of eight legged wonders? How about stories about owning poisonous centipedes? How about the best way to handle your spiders? Are you man enough to do it barehanded? Or will you need to cool them down in the fridge first? Huh? YOU PUSSY! This weeks … Continue reading "Lou Reads from the Arachnoboards. Creepy Crawly People!"

Whattup Cuzzin? You heard about the forum where people in gangs can get together to shoot the shit about gang related topics? Oh, you ain’t? It’s called The Hood Up and its a place where you can kick back, relax and have a discussion with gang members all across the country. Well, good luck with … Continue reading "Lou Reads from TheHoodUp.com, a Place for Gangsters to Trade Tale...

Oh Brother… Where to begin… My understanding of the “Tea Party” is that it was started to express outrage at Government spending and taxation deemed out of control. Why this only popped up once Obama was in office and not during the Bush years when the spending was out of control is beyond me. Please … Continue reading "Lou Reads the Discussions at Tea Party Nation"

Hay Everypony! I don’t want to hear any neighsaying about this episode of Lou Reads. I really got my hooves dirty on this one. Sure its not about gross sex, removing your balls or teen vampires but for me there is something inherently creepy about adults who get so bananas for a cartoon about . … Continue reading "Lou Reads: A Forum for Adults Who Love My Little Pony: Friendship is Mag...

Hi boys and girls! If you’re like me, you hate your balls, or your cock, or both your cock and balls. Right? So what are we going to do about that? Well if you’re like the people on this forum you might put said private parts right up in this little beauty above. Not your … Continue reading "Lou Reads from the Forums of Eunuch Archive"

Whoa… wait… what? Did that just happen… whoa… wait… WHOA! Greetings, mellow fellows. Its been too long since I ventured in to the smoke filled corridors of the memories of stoners. “Wait,” you’re saying, “aren’t stoners memories highly suspect?” Ha, you said “highly.” Well, stoners may have short term memory effects abou...

Welcome to the wonderful world of prostitutes… I mean escorts… Finally someone made a website that has stepped up to these unlicensed sex menaces and had the guts to let Johns anonymously complain about their services. I mean, how many of you out there have called an escort, had sex and then wished you had … Continue reading "Lou Reads Escort Reviews from Punternet"

This episode of Lou Reads the Internet for YOU! deals specifically with people who believe that angels, celestial teachers and other things are trying to contact us through our digital clocks. That’s right. If you happen to look over at your clock and see 11:11 or any other double number or numbers in sequence thats … Continue reading "Lou Reads: Craziness from the 11:11 Angels Forums"

So… first of all… welcome to a new year! Thats right, it’s 2011 and I’m starting this year off with a bang! Wait… do you hear that? What’s that sound? If you guessed the gentle sound of urine filling a pair of women’s shoes you guessed right! If you guessed that it was human semen … Continue reading "Lou Reads: Shoe Sessions Forum. A Place to Cum in...

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! Go ahead! Open your present! I thought long and hard about what to get you and I really think it shows… Go ahead… We’ve all been there! It’s Christmas today and you are probably going to have to put on the happy face for a gift you don’t like at all. You probably … Continue reading "Lou Reads: What the hell is this shit? Tales of Terrible Xmas...

Look, there is no two ways around this topic. This episode of Lou Reads is not for the weak. In fact I would say its outright gross. Now, you might say, “Hey, Lou, whats so gross about it? Its just gay men talking about mostly consensual, unprotected sex, with multiple sex partners per evening and … Continue reading "Lou Reads: Raw Tops Breeding Zone – Bareback Bonanza! – N...

You know… I once thought that everyone who has a job loves the job and is grateful for the customers who come in and make that job possible. Oh, what a dreamer I was. Full of grand ideas about how the world worked and free trade economic policies… Then I got a job and realized … Continue reading "Lou Reads about Sucky Customers and the Sucks who Serve them at CustomersSuck.com"

Look, I’ve had it with you. You are a terrible person to live with! You’re a slob! You stink! You won’t let my friends have sex in your room when you’re out of town! Really, you are the worst person I’ve ever lived with and when this lease runs out in 10 months I am … Continue reading "Lou Reads tales of Bad Roommates"

Hey, have I ever told you this horrible secret that I have? No? Oh right, that’s because it’s a terrible horrible secret that I can never share with anyone I know! Or at least thats what I thought until I came across the site known as GroupHug.us! Much like a FML website its a place … Continue reading "Lou Reads Anonymous Confessions from GroupHug.us"

I’m sure there is one thing we can all agree on and that is that “Magic” is an evil and deceptive art sent by the devil to convince us that coins were up our noses or that there is an super long stream of hankies somewhere in our ears that ends in some spotted boxer … Continue reading "Lou Reads: The Magic Cafe Forums! Magical Topics for Wielders of Evil Forces"

A wise man once said, “To make a family in America you marry a woman. In Russia, WOMAN MARRIES YOU!” Man, its times like these when I am glad I married me an American lady. Sure, I know they are hard to deal with. What with their nagging and their “Why do you spend all … Continue reading "Lou Reads: All About Marrying the Russian Girl of Your (Bad) Dreams"

Hey Guys! What? You’ll have to excuse me. I’ve been up for a week. What? Oh yeah, I got a hold of some really great Crystal Meth. What? No… Its not addictive! Whatever! I can quit whenever I run out and can’t find anyone to rob or have sex with for money. So… do you … Continue reading "Lou Reads: Some Crystal Meth Fun from The Drugs-Forum"

What can I say about people who believe in past lives and reincarnation that they can’t say themselves? None of it makes any sense! Whether its a story about that one time they were alive a long time ago or if they remember being a -8 month old baby and what that was all about. … Continue reading "Lou Reads about Past Lives and Reincarnation!"

What are you looking at? Yeah, I’m talking you. You reading this. I said “What the fuck are you listening to??” Oh, wait… the first time I said looking at… Sorry… its just that I used to be a Bully. But now I seek help with my issue by going to forums and reading about … Continue reading "Lou Reads: Tales of Being Bullied from Ebaum Nation Forums"

Pity the poor misunderstood vampire! How they must suffer the slings and arrows of the normal world… Okay, I’m not going to sugar coat this. I think people who think they are vampires are retarded. I can understand the idea of playing a role when you get to that awkward “Where do I belong” part … Continue reading "Lou Reads about Vampire Awakenings from Sanguinarius"

Its time to look deep inside yourself and think about what terrifies you. Not rational fears like death or loss of your job. Things that terrify you irrationally. Well if you are a’fear’d of anything irrationally and need a place to see if you’re not alone then ofear is the place for you. Without further delay … Continue reading "Lou Reads: OFEAR.com the Phobia Forum"

I know, you’re saying “Finally! A podcast that is all about guy stuff!” Yes, I finally gave in and did a podcast about everyones favorite subject: Guys with really long balls. Low Hangers they call them. Apparently there are guys out there with naturally saggy or droopy testicles and this forum is where they get … Continue reading "Lou Reads: Rantallion – The Low Hang...

Have you ever heard someone sneeze and gotten totally turned on? How about you heard someone with a stuffed up nose trying to talk and gotten super aroused by it? No? Well, then you’re a normal person who is not at all very weird at least in the whole sneeze fetish sense. You may be … Continue reading "Lou Reads: The Sneeze Fetish Forum"

So it has come to this. An actual website dedicated to talking about poop. Sure, people have issues with their poop. It’s a dirty shameful business. But the levels of hang-ups people have with their pooping is pretty out there. Believe me, I’ve seen it all working at a university. I’ve even ecountered people who … Continue reading "Lou Reads: The Poop Report Forums. The Sco...