Look Good for the Boys

Bonjour, et bienvenue à Paris! Andy and Philip have travelled across the pond to provide family therapy to a father and daughter (and a secretary with boundary issues) who have often-conflicting struggles. He’s neglecting her needs while trying to perfect his surgical skills. She’s coming of age and wants to find her place in the world. Also, she doesn’t have a face, which becomes a point of conce...

The horrifying non-spooky holidays are fast approaching which means Philip and Andy are once again taking a look at some horror families in need of help. We're kicking off this especially awful November with the legendary Wes Craven's fittingly prescient tale of toxic gender roles, is-it-or-isn't-it incest, and community-versus-capitalism: The People Under the Stairs (1991)

It’s the Big Day and we’re concluding our Very Vertical Stack Halloween by giving notes to the upstart icon Art the Clown on his controversial pieces (and pieces). Pop that nose ring back in and get your grad school vocabulary ready as we take a stroll through the gory galleries of Terrifier (2011), Terrifier (2016), and Terrifier 2 (2022).

We’re getting closer to the big day, and what better way to celebrate than to spend some time with a couple of killers who are putting on their own Halloween showcase of costumes, props, and murder. In the spirit of the holiday, let’s party with Mark and Eddie from Hollow Gate (1988) and Hauntedween (1991).

It’s that special time of year where we dust off the cobwebs just to add more, and Andy and Philip want to visit some films that may have a thicker layer of dust than others, but are just as excited about the holiday season as we are. From small towns to the suburbs, we’re embodying that Halloween spirit with some cozy Vertical Stack creature features: Jack-O (1995) and The Barn (2016).

Trick or treat suckers! We’re here to crash the 30th anniversary of Angela’s SECOND party-gone-wrong (or right, if you happen to be a demon), and we’re bringing a sampler platter of Halloween snacks for the table: Hot or Not…Alive, Costume Contest, and Party Rescue. So, somebody better distract Sister Gloria because: Angela, your party guests are here!

We’re heading into fresh waters this week as we show some love to an often neglected aquatic predator: the alligator. So, let’s wrestle them through the sewers of Missouri, the streets of Florida, and a sheriff’s station in Louisiana with: Alligator (1980), Crawl (2019), and The Flood (2023).

Whether they’re breaking into a plane, chomping their way through a bridal party, or messing up Paris’ Olympics plans, sharks are having a busy 2024. So, join us as we celebrate our favorite predator with: No Way Up, Something in the Water, and Under Paris.

Andy and Philip close their PriDEMONth celebration of queer vampires with a sapphic trip through Europe, from London to Transylvania (with an extended, off-season stay in Osten), to honor the lesbian vampires of Dracula’s Daughter (1936) and Daughter’s of Darkness (1971).

The PriDEMONth celebration of queer bloodsuckers continues as we head to the Bi-Curious SOV Era for a Bi-Coastal look at a Gay Old Count in West Hollywood and a Sapphic New Jersey Queen of the Night from Outer Space in a Vampires-Looking-For-Love Softcore Double feature with Love Bites (1988) and Caress of the Vampire (1996)

It’s June! The sun is out and so are we! Join us for a priDE-MONth celebration of the gayest monster in the parade: The Vampire. Andy and Philip kick things off by debunking some hateful myths and searching for their chosen ones among the Vertical Stack with Vampire Boys (2011) and Vampire Boys 2: The New Brood (2013).

We’ve reached 100 episodes! And to celebrate their high body count, Andy and Philip watch a threesome of films with similarly impressive numbers - and since it’s Pride Month we found it fitting that all three are about groups of people under siege from evil forces of conformity!

It’s a certain somebody’s special day and Philip and Andy are celebrating with a track meet, a science experiment, and an aerobics slumber party. Join us on this triple feature as we say happy birthday to the scream queen who keeps us looking good for the boys, the one and only: Linnea Quigley.

We kick off this summer (and season 7) by reminiscing about what YOU did last summer, because WE know. So, while it may not be the 4th of July yet, it’s never too early in the season to rank the hotness of the victims from the I Know What You Did Last Summer “trilogy”.

Andy and Philip wrap up their 2024 couples counseling sessions (and season 6) by heading to Lake Havasu via London Bridge to sit down with one of their strangest (and hottest) couples yet: Michael and Olivia (or is it Jenny?) from Uli Lommel’s 1983 genre-defying character study, Olivia.

Andy and Philip finds themselves a bit overwhelmed with their client roster this week, as they try to counsel multiple couples ranging from boring to problematic to toxic with the ill-fated friend circle that stumbles on the monster-infested mansion of 1986’s Spookies.

February may have come and gone, but that doesn’t mean horror couples are done being counseled. This week, Andy and Philip really have their work cut out for them as they attempt to solve the problems of George and Kathy Lutz of The Amityville Horror (1978), and surprisingly, living in a notorious possessed house is the least of their problems. 

It might be May, but Andy and Philip aren’t quite ready to leave 2023 behind yet…or maybe we just sat on this one a little too long. Either way, let’s take a little trip back to the “good ole days” of last year as we shuffle through the horror that was, whether we wanted it to be or not.

Everyone is busy making their lists and checking them twice, but Andy and Philip are more concerned with the movies that might not even be on Santa’s radar. So, we’re spending our Christmas with some misfit films that deserve extra holiday cheer - Krampus: The Christmas Devil (2013), Mrs. Claus (2018), and Santa Isn’t Real (2023).

Not everyone has a place to go this season, so Andy and Philip are inviting the sisters of Mu Kappa Epsilon for an orphan holiday dinner. Let’s put down those petitions and don our most empowering Santa costumes as we (try) to say only nice things to a movie that has its share of haters: Black Christmas (2019).

Philip and Andy whip up some morgue nog and get set to have a Messy Christmas by loudly telling anyone who will listen that they were wrong about Glen Morgan and James Wong's misunderstood 2006 remake of a holiday horror classic.

Concluding this year’s family therapy sessions, Andy and Philip head to the midway to talk to the chosen-family-within-a-chosen-family of circus sideshow performers in Tod Browning’s cult classic Freaks.

We're back a little early with a black friday surprise befitting this sickly comforting and low-key evil holiday where Andy and Philip work hard to set aside their grievances, and try to find some gratitude for the little things in the holiday movie that was given, but not chosen: Thanksgiving (2023).

Thanksgiving - a holiday stuffed with toxicity, violence, anxieties, and delicious food - and with those traditions in mind, Andy and Philip pile their plates a little too high by trying to provide therapy to the Simmons family of Blood Rage(1987). We definitely have our work cut out for us as we attempt to chew through this feast of generation trauma, complete meltdowns, gleeful psychopathy, and...

It’s that time of year again where many of us feel an obligation to spend time with people we never chose to be around, AKA our families, so Andy and Philip want to soften the holiday season by providing some much needed counseling to horror families in need. First up, we sit down with the Le Domas family of Ready or Not (2019), to encourage some honest communication about the trauma of growing up...