Living Wide and Deep

"You can't change someone else" is true. So is "You can influence someone else to change." How do we not try to take ownership of someone else's life while owning the power of our influence? In this episode you'll learn seven ways you can help or hinder change in someone else -- and maybe even yourself in the process! Visit Stephanie Presents for resources, to book speaking engagements, and get th...

The idea that enough pain motivates change is dangerous. While sufficient pain might prompt a person to change, it might also keep them from changing. Why? Because pain can migrate from being an experience to becoming an identity. Young women today are especially wrestling with this because significant and ongoing anxiety has become the "norm." While we want to bring empathy and compassion to this...

Change is typically hard, especially when it's significant and has been tried before. While practices and techniques matter, the biggest obstacle is our mindset. Believing change isn't possible, for us or someone else, is the #1 obstacle to growth. Whether subtle or loud, this belief packs incredible power. Today we unpack how: Changed minds will result in changed words and behaviors. The differen...

Change is inevitable. It occurs by default or intention, and when it's by default, it seldom produces the benefits we hope. Yet how does sustainable and positive change happen? In the first episode of the mini-series on Change, I unpack three common yet harmful ideas that keep people from changing: The information fallacy The rock-bottom myth The shame motivator These ideas can not only limit peop...

Life inevitably puts us in places of overwhelm. While we can't avoid this entirely, there are ways we can face these times with maturity. Discover how five "R's" make a crucial difference. Remember Record Re-orient Release Re-energize With both practical application and principles from the example of David in 1 Samuel, you'll be empowered to not run away from overwhelm but face it courageously. Vi...

Sometimes the mirror of self-awareness doesn't make us look beautiful. What it reveals is ugly. That's what I experienced recently when tiny sprouts of envy kept popping up in my heart. The solution began by choosing curiosity over shame. Rather than trying to spray these weeds with a quick prayer of repentance and then zipping on, I stopped to ask why they were growing in the first place. The ans...

What's one element every relationship depends on for success? Jesus told a story illustrating this with not just one but two plot twists. The first part of his story is as delightful for us today as it was for the original audience. The second and third parts? They take some swallowing! Grace and forgiveness received but not given leads to God's judgment and will harm or destroy every relationship...

BFF's (Best Friends Forever) are awesome -- and rare. We can miss great friendships in pursuit of the elusive one BFF. Instead, a new mindset about friends will open the door to building a rich and diverse community of friends. Who knows? Maybe even a BFF will come out of these relationships! Get practical help on how to move from acquaintances to situational friends towards the inner circle of fr...

If a relationship doesn't have a higher purpose than itself, it won't be sustainable. If pleasure is the measurement of a successful relationship, by default that nurtures selfish people. Instead, when a relationship serves a higher purpose, fulfillment of duty becomes the measurement. Paradoxically, duty becomes a pleasure. From King Solomon to Victor Frankl to John F. Kennedy, the importance of...

One of the unintended consequences of the concepts of "boundaries" and "toxic people" becoming mainstream is it's reinforced our default tendency to focus on other people's behavior instead of our own. Yet owning our choices is the most fundamental of all relational principles. Victor Frankl's sobering statement summarizes the truth: "Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of t...

What seems intuitive turns out to be wrong. Successful long-term relationships have as many, perhaps even more, differences than those who fail or survive but never thrive. How can this be? People who learn to de-personalize differences succeed. Those who don't, well, they don't succeed. Differences are inevitable. Letting them destroy your relationships isn't. Learn how to navigate them successfu...

What's one trait all children share naturally? It both delights parents and can wear them out. Ready? Curiosity. By cultivating this trait in adulthood, we can significantly minimize conflict. As we continue the mini-series on being relationally smart, we see: The difference between matters of trust and assumptions The connection between assumptions and expectations The power of investigating, not...

The "nail in the head" video was quite popular -- unfortunately. While I understand the intent, sometimes good intentions aren't enough. We need to think through the entire message we're communicating. In the 2nd part of my "Relationally Smart" miniseries, you will discover the three ways subtle (and not-so-subtle) stereotypes hinder growth and harm relationships. You will be able to move forward...

Communication may be the key that unlocks the door in a relationship, but it's what's behind the door that unites or divides. Too often we've been taught to focus on crafting a beautiful door rather than examining what's on the other side. All relationships rest on expectations. The more aligned the expectations, the greater the unity. The more misaligned the expectations, the greater the conflict...

Why are young people leaving the Christian faith? In Part 4 of the mini-series addressing this issue, we focus on the impact of what happens at home. Specifically, we dive into: What percentage of teens have a regular dialogue with their mom or dad about matters of faith and life? The answer might surprise you! Is the cultural prioritization of self-esteem a pro, con, or neutral in the decision to...

Why are young people leaving the Christian faith? Learn what the research shows and be empowered to parent, teach, pastor, and mentor young people by being fully attuned to what's going on in their hearts and minds. In Part 3 of the series, we look at five ways the Church is losing young people to other beliefs. 1. A too-small Gospel 2. Biblical illiteracy and ignorance 3. Moral failures of leader...

Why are young people leaving the Christian faith? Learn what the research shows and be empowered to parent, teach, pastor, and mentor young people by being fully attuned to what's going on in their hearts and minds. In Part 2 of the series, we look at: 1. The impact when youth is emphasized and age is devalued 2. How the emphasis on independence rather than interdependence contributes to a me-cent...

Why are young people leaving the Christian faith? When are they most likely to leave? Do they come back? Learn what the research shows and be empowered to parent, teach, pastor, and mentor young people fully attuned to what's going on in their hearts and minds. In Part 1, we look at when young people are deciding to leave Christianity behind -- in all or part. The answer may surprise you! I dive i...

Would you like to become more than you currently think is possible and do things you feel are beyond you? Get real help in today’s episode with Audrey Rindlisbacher. Audrey continues unpacking the seven laws of life she discovered on a desperate search for healing for herself, her marriage, and her family. Studying ordinary people who became extraordinary as they lived these seven laws, Audrey bec...

Exhausted and frustrated from a home life that was a mess, Audrey Rindlisbacher set out on a journey to find a different way to live. While counseling helped, she needed more tools. Determined not to give up, she began reading about heroes of the faith. Audrey discovered these ordinary people with ordinary struggles chose to live by the principles of natural law which turned them into extraordinar...

“The proof of the pudding is in the eating.” “Talk is cheap.” “Actions speak louder than words.” If a person claims to want one thing but their actions say another, what's the truth? The answer isn't always as obvious as it may seem. Three questions help lead to the truth -- whether it's for someone else or yourself. Do they/I have the knowledge or skills? Do they/I have the ability? Do they/I hav...

What's one of the most courageous, vulnerable, and life-altering questions you can ask? Why make this part of your ongoing parenting dialogue? "Why don't I have it?" ("It" being a goal or desire.) Many frameworks about goals and outcomes include the two questions we've focused on the past two episodes: What do I want? Why do I want it? But many don't ask the third. Without answering this question,...

When might the statement, "I just want God's will for my life," serve as a convenient evasion? We continue last week's exploration of four crucial, courageous questions necessary for all of life. In Episode 159 we unpacked, "What do I want?" Today we look at "Why do I want this?" Not only does this inquiry aid in uncovering the motivations behind our desires but also dismantles the shame that ofte...

"What do you want?" These four words compose one of life's scariest questions. But it's a crucial and ongoing inquiry for those courageously committed to earthly excellence and eternal significance. Two brothers made a request of Jesus who responded by asking, "What do you want?" They got a "no" and a heart check. A blind man came to Jesus who questioned, "What do you want?" He got a yes -- and a...

Intentional remembrance is a power tool for times of stress, fear, and conflict. It helps us refocus, refuel, and refuse damaging relationship cycles. God made remembering a big deal in the Old Testament, and Jesus made it a priority in the New Testament. Intentional remembering help us: refocus from our circumstances to God's capacities when we're anxious and afraid refuel with confidence when fa...