Live Your Love Story

In this episode, we talk about some of our own personal triggers and the opportunities for improvement we've become aware of, for having smoother, more elegant interactions in our conversations and relationship. But first, a minor technical difficulty (Toast's fault) and some ruminating on the current popularity of the wolf cut hairstyle (heard of it? it's mullet adjacent). Shot Notes https://sien...

Working and Relaxing are not opposites. In this ep, we talk about how Western Civilization's dread fear of aging and death seems to be behind our cultural issues around RELAXING, behind Predatory Productivity Culture, and, how that's a real bummer, because knowing how to relax can make you a more pleasant person to be around in general. Siena leads a mini meditation in Progressive Muscle Relaxatio...

In this episode, we go off! on how to NOT get pulled out to sea by the riptide currents of deceitful, delusional, or defeating stories, whether they’re stories from your own head, or from the culture that surrounds you. And we also share a contrarian take on typical inspirational pep talk, advice, and quotes. https://sienaandtoast.com/podcast/stories-we-tell-ourselves-pt-3 Find Siena and Toast on...

In this episode, we share how the personal stories we told ourselves about ourselves evolved over the course of our lives…so far. But even before we do that, in the beginning of this ep, we mention a story – and a short film about the story – of three very special giant sequoia trees here in Portland, Oregon. Their website is save-the-giants.org . Toast’s Old Story came from Evangelical Christiani...

We talk about the titanic power that stories have over our lives, and why rushing to make these stories make sense to us is not a good idea. A hit song by America’s first successful black pop songwriter comes into play. The song was written in 1896 and regained popularity in the 1920s! Sorta like how "Stranger Things" and TikTok made all these old songs from the '80s and '90s buzzy again! And we a...

WARNING: This episode contains talk about cat-related drama that only deep and genuine cat lovers will get. Please listen (and judge) accordingly. Also! A mystery prize is headed someone's way.... In this ep, we talk about: The dark side and the character weaknesses enabled by our on-demand streaming and smartphone lifestyle What can make Toast feel like a whiny little b* Cursive handwriting. Did...

Are you irritable, impulsive? Do you procrastinate? Maybe it’s Decision Fatigue.  When you’ve made too many decisions (and it doesn’t matter whether they’re simple or complicated), you get fatigued. It’s just what happens. In this episode, we discuss this phenomenon and what to do about it. Also, Toast is surprised when she learns what Siena thinks about her wardrobe. And, in case it comes in hand...

It can be hard to form new, healthy habits. The good news is: you can probably take a habit you already have, to help form that new one! In this episode, we discuss Habit Bundling, a tactic for consciously building a new habit. Podcast Notes https://sienaandtoast.com/podcast/152 Instagram https://instagram.com/sienaandtoast Find out more about Siena and Toast here Learn more about your ad choices....

Just maintaining, let alone making, new friends, isn’t so easy as an adult. Amirite?! In this episode, we discuss "the 4 a.m. friend," the idealization of friendship, and “the liking gap.” We also take a much (much!) broader perspective to see how our entire economy is set-up to incentivize us away from the bonding social connections that would otherwise emerge naturally. As Charles Eisenstein has...

In this episode, we talk about feeling dead inside! 😃 And about being introverts, social distancing, getting out of a rut, and what all of this has to do with evolution. If you want to laugh at folks who are still social distancing and wearing masks in indoor public spaces, boy have we got the episode for you! Topics include: the TV shows Yellowstone, 1883, and 1923 the sexual and non-sexual mean...

In this ep, we talk about Temptation Bundling, a tool for helping you do things that aren’t very fun, but that you know you should be doing. We share our experiences with it, and how it’s helped us even start to enjoy what started out as an unpleasant or intimidating task. We then go on to discuss the two different ways to apply Temptation Bundling, depending on whether the task is cognitively dem...

Maybe you’ve found it hard to stick with resolutions or goals or new habits you’re trying to form. We sure have! In this episode, we share a teeny tiny, sneaky little trick that’s helped us follow-thru on all those good intentions. Also: Us! We could go to Mars! We make dinosaur noises What being Filipino has to do with setting big goals (for Siena) Pros and cons of big vs. little goals Teeny Tiny...

In this episode, we talk about serendipity. Yes (for those who remember) the 2001 movie (remember?! John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale!) but also the word, what it means, the origin of it, how to experience more of it, and why focus and following through on plans is not *always* preferable to being distracted and being thrown off-course.  http://sienaandtoast.com/podcast/147 Find Siena and Toast on F...

We talk about the post-holiday blues: how the values and habits of our society contribute to it, how it’s normal, how it can be a good and healthy thing, and more. If you're feeling more than 'just' the holiday blues, please know you can call or text the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988. It's free, confidential, available 24/7, and staffed by skilled, trained crisis workers.  Episode no...

Merry Christmas, Mele Kalikimaka. This is the Holiday Special for Fans of Christmas Only. The fun, and foibles of Christmases present, and past, and heartfelt wishes for Christmases future. In this episode: What Will The Neighbors Think: Holiday Edition Pump Up The Jam: Bing Crosby Remix Relationship Challenge: The Tree-Decorating Test We talk about the olden days (The ‘70s & ‘80s), happy golden d...

In this episode, we chat about Winter Solstice and “being woo woo": it’s similar to being gay (and we would know), and how it’s also Not Scary. In fact, we play a fun little indoor game called Scary Not Scary at 22:32 into this episode. (Are goats scary?) Get ready for Winter Solstice with woo, and fun, and respect and reverence, too.  Episodes notes:  https://sienaandtoast.com/podcast/144 Episode...

You don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone. Have you noticed people these days don’t have hobbies like they used to? You might not. You’d have to be old enough to compare today (the 2020s) with the 1970s-90s or so. Over those decades, our society has experienced a decline in hobbies. In this episode, we talk about why, and recall the hobbies we had, way back then.  We talk about why hobbies are...

After a debate about artificial Christmas trees, we discuss the dark consequences of Too Many People following the conventional wisdom of focusing on what they CAN change, how we need all kinds of people, including the fighters, and, we are surprised by a non-human guest.  More details and show notes at https://sienaandtoast.com/podcast/142 Connect with Siena and Toast www.sienaandtoast.com Instag...

This is a ‘talk story’ episode. ‘Talk story’ is the Hawaiian pidgin English phrase for “shooting the breeze.” You’ll hear us Hawaii born & raised folks freaking out about fall foliage (which you can never see in Hawaii), and just hanging out talking about other Thanksgiving-related stuff: food, cooking, and a bonus Thanksgiving playlist with a twist. Show notes are at https://sienaandtoast.com/pod...

Is everyone doing their best? What do you think? In this episode, we dissect phrases like “Everyone is doing their best” and “When you know better, you do better.” We talk about how there are different kinds of “knowing.” You may know how certain foods are healthier than others, but not necessarily in the same way you know how to dance or ride a bike. The episode also includes what “participation...

One annoying thing about being human is wanting to do something, and at the very same time, NOT wanting to do that exact same thing. On this episode, we mash and hash on the weirdness and frustration of this phenomenon, and discus some unconventional ways we’ve approached and overcome the quirky obstacle. One of the most important skills to develop is being able to give yourself a command and foll...

Trauma, it's a spectrum. This episode covers some everyday anecdotes and practices we’ve found helpful. Also, Toast shares the story of a traumatic experience from her young adulthood. It involved being raised evangelical Christian (when you’re gay) and being outed by a really good friend. Then we share some simple practices, perspectives, and aids that we've found helpful to process and support t...

Do you have a love/hate relationship with your to-do list, too? In this episode, we talk about why that is, and ways we deal with it, including some practical changes we’ve made recently to help us just enjoy life more.  The discussion moves past productivity systems pretty quick, so we can get into topics like the psychological acceptance of not being able to do everything you want, creative and...

Maybe don’t write yourself off so easily. We were never the fix-it, handy-person, tool belt wearing kind of lesbians. But then, something happened…. In this episode, we talk about stretching yourself. For pics of the before and after, check out the show notes at sienaandtoast.com/podcast/136 SienaandToast.com Instagram Facebook Twitter YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/a...

Would you center your identity around another person’s weakness? (Or what you judge to be their weakness.) In this episode we have a wide-ranging discussion about forgiveness. We cover phrases and phenomena like “hurt people hurt people," Fundamental Attribution Error, grudges, revenge and punishment, being triggered by others, the Sermon on the Mount, hoʻoponopono, and more. For complete show not...