Limited Appeal

We begin with Warren attempting to impress us with his extensive knowledge of cricket, but we think he's full of shit. However, if your name is Tarnqvist and you know what silly-mid-off means, let us know (email maskedman@limitedappeal.net) so Warren can gloat. Then in Dictionary Plus, Warren asks why felching is so popular it's been dignified with a name. If you don't know what felching is, we ca...

We start this week's episode with a Nature Walk, in which Warren asks what animal we would most like to speak English. None of the answers make any sense, but I suppose that's not very surprising. Nor is John's affection for wildebeests. In Dictionary Plus, Warren asks for a non-offensive word for blitzkrieg, just in case you need to use it at church. Those ushers, they get out of control sometime...

This week we feature a prolonged Nature Walk, in which Warren asks why some people refuse to eat cute animals. Would you eat tuna if it were accidentally caught in a dolphin net? Naturally this topic leads to questions about prohibitions against sex with animals, especially rabbits. (What did you expect?) Luc questions why the Bible recommends the execution of animal victims of rape. Warren then a...

Once Johnzo stops picking at it, we realize someone has punched us in the mail sack. Apparently some guy or girl left a comment on our myspace page complaining about belching in a recent episode. Curiously, she didn't complain about the rectal prolapse segment. Different folks, we guess. T-bone conditionally addresses her complaint, subject to the cooperation of Coca-cola and its corporate cronies...

What does it take to have the rights to play "What Does It Take" by Honeymoon Suite? We don't know. But Johnzo isn't offering much. In Dictionary Plus, we try to determine how to revoke a "please". Hey, we're always trying to help. If you work for the Oxford English Dictionary, contact us via email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Finally, Warren issues an ultimatum to Ricky Gervais for stealing our...

Our website tracker tells us what search terms lead visitors to the website, and we noticed recently that one inquisitive surfer stumbled onto our site after asking Google, "How do you know if your ballsack is shrinking". Recognizing that said web surfer must have been disappointed in our lack of shrinking ballsack-related web content, we decided to correct the situation. Do you have a question fo...

We start with another Urban Legend in which Warren proposes that ingesting very small amounts of a substance produces the opposite of its effect in large doses. So for example, a small amount of caffeine might put you to sleep. Confused? It's kinda like, um, magnets. One end of the magnet is like a small amount of coffee, and the other end . . . ah fuck it. It's total bullshit. In Dictionary Plus,...

This week we return to Foody Goody after a long lapse to briefly discuss Warren's Chinese Wedding experience, complete with bloody shark-fin soup. Then, in Pooh Corner, we ask how arms manufacturers sleep at night. Turns out you don't become the CEO of an Arms Manufacturing company by accident. Who knew? In the course of the conversation, we end up promoting two movies and one book, and Warren eve...

Johnzo proposes a new insult invoking Braille and gooseflesh. In Pooh Corner, Warren asks why skill-testing questions are required for contest-winners. Answer: we don't know. Now skip ahead to 5:20. Warren asks what would happen if everyone, all at once, mosh-pitted, and this naturally leads us to naked slides and John Tesh. Admit it, you're curious. Finally, Luc corrects T-Bone about whether snai...

We start with "What Would It Take" corner, and Warren asks what it would take for each of us to agree to sell his soul. Luc undersells everyone (perhaps a bit impulsively) before he realizes he has relinquished both his thermostat and his TUMS. A foolish man and his digestive aids are soon parted. As our resident philosopher, Johnzo finally comes to the rescue and explains exactly what to expect w...

All this talk of climate change has Warren worrying about obesity in squirrels. What happens if there's no winter to stop them from overindulging in nuts? This conversation segues seamlessly and predictably into talk about monkey masturbation. Warren's hypothesis is that if a monkey is awake, it is probably masturbating. T-Bone suggests that, contrary to popular opinion, excessive masturbation lea...

We begin this week with a brand new drinks-related segment, Alcoholics Says. It's meant to be the opposite of Alcoholics Anonymous. If you don't find that funny, see Episode Four Plus. If it's still not funny, well, fuck you. Our relatively innocuous conversation about drinks soon turns into a rather nasty discussion about all kinds of ass-related ailments. We even discover which children's toy is...

In this week's episode, we begin with Sportage, and develop several exciting alternative rule sets for curling. How could curling possibly get more exciting? Just listen and find out. (OK, here's a hint: our ideas include fighting, exploding rocks, and bags of pubic hair.) As if that's not exciting enough, at one point Johnzo admits he has never seen Lanny McDonald naked. Loser! In Dictionary Plus...

We start this week with the first ever Urban Legend segment that is NOT introduced by Warren, about goats and coffee. This leads T-Bone to propose a new method for getting drugs into your system. We take no legal responsibility for anyone who wishes to attempt T-Bone's suicidal technique. In sportage, Warren plays 3 NHL goal horns and following musical and asks us to guess the city from which the...

We start off this week by discussing the censorship of naughty and/or offensive lyrics. If you're an impressionable youth who can be unduly influenced by suggestive language, send us an email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net), and we'll fill your brain with all kinds of great ideas. Later, we have a chat about Gonzo the Muppet's sexual obsession with chickens. What the hell is Gonzo, anyway? And what...

We start with a new kind of (as-yet unnamed) segment, in which Warren asks us to name five translucent things. Pointless you say? Maybe. OK, definitely pointless. But it's no worse than most of our banter, right? Maybe? Well, to make up for it, Warren discusses how painful his wisdom tooth surgery was, even though he was given every anaesthetic known to man. Can you guess where they injected his d...

Welcome to Season 2! If you want to convey your surprise, congratulations, or disappointment that we're still producing this ridiculous podcast after more than a year, email us (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). This week, after acknowledging General Patton vs. the X-ecutioners for our flashy new music, we move on to our first segment of the brand new season, Polish the Bishop, in which we attempt to...

In this special double-segment, we wrap up our infamous Who's That Bird segment and award our long-awaited reacharound. In a surprise twist, we decide that the loser must provide said reacharound. Nevertheless, John maintains his strategy of being a complete jackass. Will it pay off? Listen, and find out! Learn about the accordion-shaped white laughing bird, the weeping football cannibal bird, and...

We start by asking why there are no milkmen any more (especially in light of their reproductive success). That segment really sets the bar low for the rest of the episode. Next Warren tells a story about a waitress who used to be a phone sex operator, and often spoke of manmilk (do you get the theme yet?). If you have ever called a phone sex line and heard of manmilk, let us know via email (masked...

We know Tedmas is over, but since Ted has had such a huge influence on our culture, we thought naming a second episode after him was OK. We start with an Urban Legend segment exploring the origin of shirt wearing among human men. Turns out a nipple-tweaking prank got way out of hand, and no one could get anything done. Pretty obvious in hindsight, eh? Then we take a Nature Walk and discuss the rei...

For all of you searching for enlightenment about Runescape or Pamela Anderson's dink, you've been had. Hey, if you're feeling bad about this, at least you're not CENSORED, wearing a CENSORED because you broke your CENSORED. If you don't understand our censorship, please refer to Episode Waxorama. We understand that inside jokes work poorly in a podcast, but we figure that our show is bad enough th...

In this week's ETWTF, we try (with very little success) to explain Marilyn Manson to aliens. If you are Marilyn Manson, and care to clear up the confusion about your ball-mask and tits, email us (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Then, in Inventions and Shit, Warren proposes developing a pissgauge. We never fully decide whether this is a good idea, but it leads to a lot of intriguing discussion on pis...

We start by reaching deep into the mail sack. Actually, this is a response to a comment on our MySpace page (http://www.myspace.com/limitedappeal) from our monotarded friend (no offence, Karm). If you want us to talk about your own question, but not necessarily answer it, email us (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). In Dictionary Plus, we discuss Reuter's euphemistic phrase, "oedipal expletive". They'r...

We start this week by contemplating the likely pets of each of the other hosts. If you have any suggestions of pets that would be well suited for one or more of us, let us know via email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). In our "Nature Walk", John asks what the difference is between hair and fur. The answer may not be as straightforward as you think. What about sheep? What about teddy bears? Would YO...

This week Luc gets a bit irate, old-man style, about trendy new names for colours. Everyone else disagrees. In Inventions and Shit, we come up with a brilliant novelty item that is sure to generate millions. Ambitious inventors (or rock bands) should contact us by email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net) to obtain our logo for the corner of the toilet paper squares, and to offer us a cut of the profits...